


you make things better

by paprbee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Personal Growth, Post S8, Self-Acceptance, Slow Burn, This is about Klance but allrua is important too, canon compliant until its not, heavily lance centric, the red lion is klance's number 1 shipper im sorry i dont make the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 80,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paprbee/pseuds/paprbee
Summary: Lance has always been both too much and never enough





	1. Part I

“I mean, really, I think we make a great team,” Lance says, hugs his body close as a giddy feeling runs through him the way it does when he flirts with Allura. “Here we are, working together, _just_ the two of us.”

“ _Let’s go, Lance!_ ”

It’s not like she’s reciprocated his flirting before.

He throws himself and Red in front of the blast anyway, doesn’t hesitate because he wants to make sure Allura is _safe_. He feels the blast course through his body, is in intense pain for only a moment before it fades and his eyes fall shut. His body slumps forward and the air from his lungs releases.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He's sitting on the checkout counter of a bodega, swinging his feet, sucking on a lollipop that the cashier gave him while he waits for his mama to finish grabbing the last ingredient she forgot to grab at the mercado. It's not as exciting as walking in the crowded spaces between the booths that are full of fruits, vegetables, meats and fishes on piles of ice, or the live chickens squawking around as they wait to be picked up and prepared; but he gets free candy when Marisa is here. She always pinches his cheek and calls him adorable. Lance appreciates that.

There's a tiny radio behind Marisa that's playing some cumbia track and she's swaying her hips back and forth as she stacks together receipts, punching in the numbers into her calculator that slowly prints out the total as she goes. He watches her with a grin before he starts to sway from side to side too, rolling his torso and shoulders in an attempt to dance and she pauses from her work to give him a fond smile.

"Como estas, papi?" she asks him, her voice sweet and soft. Lance thinks she makes it sound like this just for him because he's walked past before with his mama and he's heard her voice shrill and high in volume like the call of an angry macaw.

Lance shrugs and gives her a small smile, tucking his chin into his chest because it makes him shy when people that he's not related to call him that. Sends somewhat of a happy thrill through him as well because he knows they say it lovingly, knows that it means they care about him, at least a little. And as one of the youngest of his family as of now, he hears it all the time.

"Bien," he mumbles around his lollipop and Marisa laughs and ruffles his hair before she returns to her work.

"Te gusta el baile?" Marisa continues and Lance peeks over the shelves in the small bodega, spotting his mama by the bun she has her hair tied in right now. There are a few curls that are sticking out of it and it's big and fluffy. He likes hanging out with Marisa but he likes holding his mama's hand and listening to her mutter to herself softly as she goes down the list of things she needs to do or say more.

"Nooo," Lance giggles at Marisa, shaking his head quickly.

"Too bad, papi," Marisa tells him with a smile. "You could be a great dancer one day."

His mama finally appears from behind one of the shelves and she has her arms full with two two-liter sodas and a bag with limes in it. She sets them down next to Lance, reaches for her coin purse tucked into her shirt and pulls out the right amount before Marisa even gives her the total.

"Ven," his mama says, holding out her arms and Lance jumps into them, touching his toes to the ground as she sets him back down on his feet carefully, handing him the bag with the limes and keeping the one with the sodas herself. She curls her hand gently around Lance's small one and they both call out a goodbye to Marisa as they walk out of the dark bodega and into the bright sunlight.

Lance doesn't have a watch on him but by the position of the sun he thinks it's almost time for his siblings to come home from school and for his papa to come back from work. It explains why his mom is walking in that brisk pace that has Lance half running to keep up with her, their fingers gripping each other tighter as they cross the street or walk by a large crowd of people. 

When his mama opens their metal door and they both walk inside, cooler air greets Lance and he sighs in relief. He walks over to the kitchen to set down the bag of limes on the table and throws away the stick of his lollipop before he washes his hands and rolls up his sleeves. His mama is already at work, setting down cutting boards and large knives, piles of vegetables and the meat they'll be eating today out. She walks over to Lance and hands him a few carrots for him to peel.

"Con mucho cuidado, bebe," she tells him, poking his nose gently with her finger and staring into his eyes firmly until he nods and she's sure he won't hurt himself.

Lance is six now, thank you very much, and he knows how to use the peeler without getting cut. That only happened once and Lance always learns from his mistakes, he never wants to make them again. He takes his time, rolling the plastic bag inside out and laying it flat in front of him before he starts to peel the first carrot slowly, watching as the thin slice of skin drops from it and into the bag. See? He's a pro at this.

His mama is in the middle of showing him how she cuts the carrots when his papa walks into the kitchen, a paper bag in his hand, his smile wide as he looks back and forth between his mama and Lance. He sets down the bag and leans close to press a kiss against his mama's cheek, saying something too low for Lance to hear but his mama laughs and lightly nudges him with her shoulder.<p>

Lance scrunches his nose slightly at the gesture, waiting patiently for his papa to finish up putting away the bread he brought in the paper bag before bending down to pick him up with an exaggerated groan, spinning Lance around carefully in his arms in the small kitchen before he pulls his head back enough to look at him. Lance always laughs at the way he gets a double chin, his brows and mustache wiggling like three caterpillars.

They both sit down at the table, Lance on his papa's lap as he pulls over one of the cutting boards and knives to start chopping vegetables as well. His arms are on either side of Lance and he listens attentively as Lance tells him about his day, about what he did, about what cartoon episode they showed today, how many times he tried to do a cartwheel and how he's really close to getting it (his mama confirms this with a nod).

And then Lance is sitting on the table, watching as his parents flawlessly and with practice start to cook everything together. His papa tosses the meat in the pan into the air and catches it again, his mama sprinkling salt and spices into it, both of them tasting it with a wooden spoon.

"Why did you get married?" Lance asks them suddenly and they both turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. His papa looks confused but his mama has an amused smile. He doesn't mean it in a bad way, isn't really questioning them, but he _is_ curious. His papa laughs, looking at his mama and nudging shoulders with her.

"We make a good team," his mama says, tossing the wooden spoon in the air and his papa catches it right out of the air above his head.

Huh.

It's really no wonder why Lance starts to associate what his mama said with love. He keeps being a witness to it in the smallest gestures. Like when it's early in the morning and everyone is rushing around the house to get ready for another day and breakfast and his papa wordlessly hands his mama a cup of coffee. Or when his entire family is sitting in the living room to watch a movie and he's cuddled up against Veronica because she's soft and always smells like guava pastelitos and his mama fluffs up one of the couch pillows for his papa and places it right behind his lower back because it always hurts after a long day of work.

His papa helps with cooking almost every day and his mama holds the stairs steady when they hang the fairy lights Veronica wanted in her room. They both take the responsibility of raising the five of them, always taking turns on who is going to discipline them next. Like two leaders taking control of every situation together, hand in hand.

When he and Rachel finally start school the dynamics change a little bit but they also stay the same. His parents have more time to themselves and Lance sees a greater change in how they interact with each other, tension that was there before fading away.  


His partner gives him a high-five when they finish their presentation to a glowing review from their teacher and excited cheers from their classmates. Lance grabs the poster they had put up for it and his partner waits for him on the side and nudges his shoulder against Lance's tells him, "We make a great team, huh?"

Lance feels his heart drop to his stomach and his eyes widen at the words. He can only clear his throat and look away from him and after class, he feels a bit frozen because he has to say something right? He needs to say that he’s flattered but really he doesn’t feel the same way… well… sure they did make quite a good team but just for the project. Nothing else. Nothing more.

He swallows once when he approaches his partner after class, rubs the back of his neck, drags his gaze away and is about to tell him what he’s been thinking but he’s interrupted by another one of their classmates coming up behind his partner to hug him. She hops back cutely and Lance stares back and forth between them when he sees them clasp hands together before they’re walking out of the classroom.

It's confusing for a moment because Lance thought maybe what he had been trying to say was that he liked Lance. He huffs and rocks back in forth on the balls of his feet before he gives a small hop and hitches his backpack higher on his shoulder, steps out of the classroom and to his locker to put away the notebook he won't be needing until next week.

The moment lingers in his mind as he rides the bus back home after school, lingers as he sits next to Rachel in the kitchen while they do their homework, as the rest of his family gathers on the table a few hours later and his mama and papa are setting the table, shouting orders around. Lance makes lemonade, makes it extra sweet because that's the way his family likes it, sets down the big jug next to the bowl of ice and plops down on the table heavily.

“How did your presentation go, Leandro?” his mama asks as she cuts into her milanesa, swipes the piece of breaded chicken on the salsa on her plate.

“It was good, people clapped,” Lance shrugs, rubs his chin thoughtfully. “My friend said we made a good team.”

He hopes it will stick, that his mama will recognize it for what he's trying to say but they praise him for a job well done, Marco pats his head gently with a smile that says _good job_ and they move on around the table talking about their day. Rachel is sneaking bites of her food under the table for the cat they're fostering and Lance wonders if maybe she might have some advice for him.

After cleanup Rachel and Lance take turns in the bathroom to shower and brush their teeth, he offers for her to go first even though he hates it because Rachel takes forever and always uses almost all of the hot water but he wants her to be settled in on the bottom bunk before he starts asking his questions. Wants to figure out if their twin bond goes this far too.

So when he's tucked into the top bunk, staring up at the stars he stuck to the ceiling he takes a deep breath and whispers, “Hey, Rachel…?”

“Yeah?”

“You've ever… had a crush?”

“Um,” Rachel hesitates for a second and Lance shifts on his bed, pulls the blankets closer and tucks them under his chin. “Yeah.”

“How did it feel?”

“Funny,” Rachel says and Lance can picture her scrunching up her nose. “It made me really nervous around them for a long time.”

“Did you… think you guys would make a good team?” Lance asks tentatively and he knows it sounds stupid and probably doesn't make much sense but he doesn't have a good way to phrase it.

“I guess?” Rachel asks, her voice is unsure. “Do you have a crush?”

“No,” Lance says quickly because he really doesn't but today made him think about it, about how to recognize it, about how he can express it in the future.

“Good team…” Rachel murmurs quietly and Lance recognizes her sleepy voice so he just hums back quietly.

Rachel moves out of their shared room a month later, she says it's time they both have their own space and get to decorate their rooms the way they want without worrying if it's too Rachel-y or Lance-ish.

“Plus it'd be cool to not have to change in the bathroom anymore.”

Lance agrees.

Still, he feels a bit if a twinge seeing her take her blanket last, knows she's just going down three doors but they've been together since they were both cells, were always touching each other somehow on their ultrasound photos, slept in the same crib as babies because they would wail and be inconsolable unless they were together. Spent most of their childhood in the same classroom with the same teacher because it would make it easier for his mom to keep up with both of the expectations they had for Lance and Rachel.

He and Rachel make a good team but it's in a different way. They help each other with homework, know how to cheer up one another instantly, know each other's secret insecurities and how to be uplifting. They make a good team because she has his back no matter what, even after she moves out of their room she still includes Lance in the little moments of her life. She gets them matching bracelets or socks and he buys them matching shirts and hats because they're twins and they spent a great part of their lives looking exactly the same.

He makes a good team with his brother Marco in an athletic way, runs next to him every morning as soon as he turns ten, learns how to play baseball in their backyard and later on a field with his friends while Marco says _trust me, Lance here has a sick throw_. When they play charades they know exactly what the other is trying to say and Marco always shares the snacks he brings home with him.

Luis is the eldest, takes care of Lance and Rachel too much, makes them feel like babies sometimes but he also teaches them crucial life lessons, shows them how to be careful when they're out in the street alone, picks them up like they weigh nothing and asks Lance to be one of the best men for his wedding.

Veronica is the cool one out of them and Lance wants to be like her, wants to follow her to the Garrison and learn how to become a pilot. Veronica isn't one but she tells him all about it, brings him along on tours so he can find out more about the program, encourages him and shows him the skills he should have before he applies.

His focus is on that until it suddenly isn't because Rachel is on the honor roll and he isn't. Didn't make it because he had been too busy in his Intro to Chemistry class staring nervously at his partner. She's a pretty girl, has long brown hair and hazel eyes. Her nose is a little bit crooked and when Lance dumbly asks her about it she pouts her plush lips and says she broke her nose when she was little. She thinks it's ugly, Lance thinks it makes her special. He doesn't just like her because she's pretty anyway, he likes the way she laughs, how she brushes her hair back and tucks it behind her ears. She has different earrings on every day and Lance wonders how she can own so many pairs, where she stores them, how she picks which ones to wear every morning.

Rachel is on the honor roll and he isn't because he's experiencing his first _real_ crush. Doesn't know how to manage his time between daydreaming about Aliyah and actually finishing his individual work for class. Turns in homework late so many times that his teacher stops believing his excuses and doesn't accept the assignments anymore and it affects Lance's GPA.

Which affects his chances of getting into the Garrison with a scholarship the way Veronica did.

Rachel is on the honor roll and he wants to scream.

He thinks the only way to get past it will be to reveal his feelings to Aliyah, be rejected or accepted, ease the portions of his day dedicated to thinking of her into less and less time.

He asks Luis about it when he goes to his house to help babysit Nadia and Sylvio. They were born six months ago and his mama said Luis and Lisa deserved a date night. Luis is showing Lance how to change a diaper with Sylvio and Lance nods his head the instructions, wrinkles his nose when Luis tells him he has to make sure he wipes him down well because the poop could get anywhere, even on his legs, and takes note of how much baby powder he taps into his bottom.

When they're done Luis closes the onesie again and pats Sylvio's tummy once. Lance picks up the baby carefully when Luis motions for him to do so and he clears his throat, stares down at Sylvio's sleepy eyes and bites his lip.

“Hey, Luis,” he says quietly, doesn't want to break the spell of a calm baby in a dimly lit nursery.

“What's up buddy?”

“Um… well… there's this girl I'm lab partners with at school and…”

Luis sits down on one of the rocking chairs in the room so Lance does the same, still refuses to look up from Sylvio's cute face as he continues because somehow he's pulling courage from looking at his nephew.

“Mhm?” Luis doesn't sound pushy, his body language from what Lance can see on his peripheral vision is relaxed, open, friendly.

“I… well I like her,” he stammers out and huffs out a sigh, Sylvio peers one eye open before it's rolling shut again. “And I don't know how to tell her… that I do and… I thought maybe you could tell me how?”

“It's different for everyone,” Luis tells him, doesn't tease him about his first crush the way he knows Marco would. “Some people send love letters, others tell them face to face, some people give them gifts. Have you thought of how _you_ could tell her?”

Lance wants to tell her they make a really good team. Their lab assignments always go smoothly, they pass tools to each other easily, already know who's going to write down their findings on their sheet and who's going to take care of doing the experiment while the professor explains and gives them instructions. Sometimes they eat lunch together and Lance shares his sweets with her and she laughs at his dumb jokes despite them not being that funny. 

“How did you tell Lisa you liked her?” Lance asks instead.

“I blurted it out in the middle of us walking down the hall to our next class,” Luis snorts. “And then I ran out and went home even though it was barely second period.”

Lance grins, brushes back Sylvio's curls from his forehead and looks up at his brother who's now wearing a dopey smile as he stares at a picture of their family next to him. They both hear Lisa call out that she's ready and Luis stands up, ruffles Lance's hair and drops a kiss on Sylvio's forehead.

“Whatever you decide to do, tell her or not, all you have to do is be brave,” Luis tells him. “If it's meant to be it'll work out.”

It doesn't work out but Lance doesn't have much time to think about it because the very next semester he's filling out applications for the Garrison with Veronica's help. He forgets about his crush slowly, puts aside the way Aliyah's expression had fallen from a friendly one to a pitiful one, forgets how she said she did think they made a good team as lab partners but that was pretty much it. Lance doesn't think she tells anyone about his confession because no one says anything to him and her friends don't giggle when they see him walk by.

Veronica slaps down practice exams on their kitchen table instead, tells Lance someone named Adam worked really hard on creating these especially for Lance as a favor to Veronica so he better complete all of them so Adam can grade them. She gives explicit instructions to Marco on Lance's training so he makes it through the physical, instructions Marco sticks to by the letter and Lance is both grateful and resentful because Marco always snatches the pastelito his mama gives him from his fingers and shoves it into his own mouth instead.

Shiro comes by his school to explain the program to all the kids in his grade, Lance is eager to get outside and try the simulation. He's really good at it once he gets his turn and Shiro pats his shoulder, praises him and says the Garrison would be lucky to have someone like Lance on board. _Someone like Lance_. He walks on clouds the rest of the week, submits his application confidently, takes the exam without worry after having done so well on the ones Adam had sent him.

He receives an acceptance letter a month before the new term starts.

Veronica takes him and Rachel to celebrate in Miami for a week. Lance knows it's because soon enough he'll be contained in a desert with no bodies of water within sight, knows that Veronica is giving him one last chance to enjoy himself by the sea before he becomes a cadet before he dedicates his life to becoming the best pilot he can be. The best pilot _ever_.

It's when he and Rachel meet Diego. He's visiting from Cuba, has a lot of family here and they’re thinking about moving to Miami. He barely speaks any English but it doesn't matter because Lance and Rachel are fluent in Spanish. They have lunch with him and his family, meet up every morning to swim and sunbathe and talk about a million things at once.

Lance's heart grows warm and feels like it swoops from his chest to his stomach every time he sees Diego, makes his face and neck ache when they grow hotter than they already are under the sunlight. He hides behind Rachel and fixes his hair as if he's not about to run into the water soon enough and ruin it. He finds ways to sit next to Diego when they sit down to eat, or when they go to the movies, keeps his head partially turned to him to translate real time in a quiet whisper.

His breath hitches when Diego throws his arm around his shoulders as they walk to the store for a soda for dinner. Lance knows it should be like when Marco would toss his arm around Lance as they walked together to the baseball field but it doesn't feel like that at all. The brush of Diego's fingertips against Lance's shoulder makes butterflies like the ones he felt when he saw Aliyah rush in a whirlwind on his stomach, his chest feels full and he's trying to control his breath. Diego doesn't seem phased by it at all, still has an easy smile on his lips as he talks about a childhood memory he's heard so many times he thinks it might not be real anymore.

Lance wants to slide his arm around his waist, press closer to him, but he holds back, bites his lip instead and looks to the side as if there's something interesting there. Hides the blush that's surely on his cheeks because he's terrified. Doesn't think he should feel like this for Diego, _for a boy_.

“You're just really great friends,” Lance whispers to himself in the bathroom that night, rubs his cheeks gently with soap, stares at himself in an attempt to will it into reality. “Friends are allowed to think their friends are handsome.”

Tomorrow is their last day in Miami, Veronica tells them they have to meet by the car at four if they want to make it home before dinner. She crosses her arms across her chest and stares both Lance and Rachel down until they both let out a weak, “Yeah, Vero, we'll be there.”

Before lunch, Diego pulls Rachel to the side and Lance watches by his sandcastle, stops carving the details and slumps his shoulders when he sees Diego grab Rachel's hand, pull it upward with a smile that Rachel doesn't return. She shakes her head and Diego bows his, let's go of her hand and turns to walk away.

Jealousy curls in his stomach takes home and doesn't let him look Rachel in the eye for hours on end until they're both in the car while Veronica gets gas. Rachel clears her throat and Lance crosses his arms, slumps down on his seat.

“What happened with Diego?” Lance asks finally.

“Nothing,” Rachel says quickly, rubs her hands together the way she does when she grows nervous.

“Didn't look like nothing,” Lance says and he knows he sounds bitter but he can't help it. “He said he liked you, right?”

“I don't like him.”

Lance can't possibly imagine how she doesn't. Diego is a great person to like. His skin is brown and warm and has red undertones that make him look like the sunset. His curls are tight and droop when they're wet but they barely lose their shape, he has dimples and the most beautiful brown eyes.

Rachel is crazy.

“You're crazy,” Lance tells her, huffs and bites his lip.

“Maybe.”

They don't say anything after that but when they're home, after they have dinner Rachel is waiting for Lance by the door to his room, their old room. She doesn't say anything, just wraps her arms tightly around him in a hug that Lance can't help but return no matter how annoyed he is. She tilts her head upward just a tiny bit now that Lance is starting to gain height on her and says, “I love you always. No matter what.”

Lance knows what she means, knows she has probably been witness to his struggle with whatever he was feeling with Diego so he sighs and squeezes her back one last time before they pull away. They don't bring it up again, never say it in actual words, and Lance is grateful he and Rachel keep each other's secrets because Lance needs to think about it more before he makes a bold declaration like _that_. And anyway, he’s probably just confused.

Rachel would slap him if she knew he was crushing on a white girl but he can't help it. As soon as they meet the older classmate that will be helping them through their orientation and giving them an official tour he's immediately smitten with her pretty green eyes and long blonde hair. She has to be at least sixteen and she's way out of Lance's league and age range but he still smoothly tries to talk to her, brushes against her arm whenever he has the chance as they walk past her into a new room she's showing them.

She doesn't seem to notice so Lance is a bit discouraged because of course she wouldn't notice him when almost everyone is taller than him, even the girls. And he’s usually at least a little bit taller than the girls in his class. He rolls his shoulders and she taps the screen of her tablet once before she’s gathering around a different type of simulation than the one Lance has seen before. She tells them that to try out this one they have to work in pairs, it helps them see how other people work and how to adapt to it because sometimes that's the best way to take care of a task. She taps her screen once and then a hologram with their school ID pictures pops up in thin air in front of them. Lance finds his photo rather quickly and next to it is the photo of one of the quieter kids.

Lance glances at him and is a little bit worried because K. Kogane, as his photo says underneath, seems like he’s a bit of a grouch, has been glaring this whole time and staying as far away from the group as he possibly can without getting the attention of their tour guide. He glances at Lance quickly before his eyes are darting away again, the slump of his shoulders growing, arms crossing tighter around his chest, a red stain that wasn’t there before on his cheeks now.

 _He must be really angry_ Lance can’t help but think, biting his lip before he’s dragging his feet to K. Kogane. He stretches out his hand to offer him a handshake, immediately brightens up his face with a friendly smile and says, “Hey, the name’s Lance.” It sounds cool when he says it like that, or at least he thinks it does. It gives him that boost of confidence he needs when meeting new people, just because he’s extroverted doesn’t mean it’s that easy.

“Keith,” Keith mutters, still not looking at him, his arms still firmly crossed over his chest and Lance feels a sting of rejection but he recovers quickly and shoves his hands in his pockets. 

Keith is… insanely talented despite his outward appearance. He’s skinny, skinner than Lance is, his cheeks look slightly hollow sometimes and Lance can’t help but wonder if he eats at all when he’s home. His hair is long and shaggy and really dark, his nose comes to a small point that rounds out and makes his pout look cute, except no it isn’t because Lance isn’t supposed to think like that about other boys.

And Keith might be very talented and very not cute but he and Lance definitely do not make a good team. Keith won’t let him to anything, climbs into the simulation without a word and takes the seat of the main pilot and Lance wants to object, to tell him off but Keith is already strapped in and he’s not looking at Lance and they’re not making a plan together like the teams before them did. So he’s already in a bad mood as he sits down on the copilot chair, already hates the fact that someone else is overpowering him when Lance came here to overcome. He didn’t study his ass off and break his body for days for some random kid to take it all away from him. He takes a deep breath anyway, grips the controls in front of him.  
  
They barely make it out of the field of asteroids with minimal damage. Their score is better than anyone else’s and they get a special lanyard because of it but even though they won Lance definitely does not want to be paired off with Keith again. The not cute way his hair flops over or the way his skin between his brows crinkles as he frowns doesn’t matter because _they don’t make a good team_ . And Lance definitely cannot harbor any type of feelings for someone like that. He can’t harbor feeling for someone that doesn’t listen, someone that continues to get them in trouble daily during classes and always gets a free pass out because he’s friends with _Shiro_ or whatever.  
  
He doesn’t have to think about it long because soon enough he finds his best friend in Hunk. He gives the best hugs, has the best snacks, and is the smartest engineer of their group. All things considered, Lance finishes his first month at the Garrison feeling pretty proud of himself. His grades are good and his statistics are high enough that if he keeps it up by the end of the year he’ll surely make the list to become a fighter pilot and not a cargo one.  
  
Their interactions with girls outside of class are very limited and Lance hates it, can’t really keep practicing his flirting skills when he has to do it in a classroom where he can’t talk aloud and wouldn’t anyway because it’s not worth it getting in trouble. Also, it could be very embarrassing.

The end of the year is nearing and with it come events to help them feel better, relax. They’re going through their final examinations and Lance doesn’t want to fall behind, is barely hanging around in last place to become a fighter pilot and he definitely doesn’t have time for a girlfriend but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t _want_ one. 

So when they hear about a dance, when they hear about being able to bring a date, when they hear the words _formal wear_ and _gala_ Lance is already all over it. He messages his mom to mail him his suit even though he’s not sure if it will fit anymore. He starts to take better care of his skin even when he’s really tired after classes and all he wants to do it curl up and sleep. 

He spends too long preparing for it, too long gathering the courage to ask all the girls he knows and even those he doesn’t. Feels the sting of way too many rejections that when the night comes he refuses to get out of the dorm he shares with Hunk. He sniffles and rolls over and ignores Hunk’s quiet _are you sure you’ll be okay, buddy?_ and instead tries his best to fall asleep. When he can’t manage it he walks out of his room quietly, looks around the halls that are dark, only a soft glow coming from the very ends of the hall. There’s blue light fixtures on the wall that provide him a little bit of sight but it’s not enough because he totally misses sight of the person leaning against the wall so much that he bumps into them.

“Hey,” Lance whines, rubbing his forehead even though he didn’t hit it on the collision.

“Watch where you’re going.” 

Oh. _Oh oh oh ho oh oh!_ Lance would recognize that voice and mullet _anywhere_ . It’s stupid Keith with his stupid brooding and his stupid arms crossed. Keith that never lets Lance catch up, that’s always getting the best scores, the pats to his back, the one arm hugs from Shiro and proud smiles of their math professor Adam. Keith the next top contender to be just as great as Shiro when it _should have been Lance._

But he’s just Lance, the one lagging behind, barely holding on to the top six of their rank, who studied his butt off and hopes it was enough to get him through to become one of the fighter pilots.

“Shut up,” Lance spits out bitterly, stomps around him and gives him a wide berth and he sees Keith raise an eyebrow and glance at him before his eyes are flicking away again. “What are you even doing here out of your room?” 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Keith scoffs, looks hard like he’s trying to act tough. 

“None of your business,” Lance tells him, is about to round the hall when he hears giggles he recognizes. 

He freezes and turns back, makes a beeline back to his room because he can hear the laugh of somebody else along with those giggles and Lance will never live it down if he lets the girl he has a crush on and her date see him in his pajamas when he should have been out in the dance floor rocking his suit. When he closes the door behind him the sound of the laughter fades out and Lance drags his feet to his bed, crawls in and is comforted at the way it still feels warm. 

It’s the last moment of peace that he really feels because the next day the results are out. The results are out and Lance spends too long brushing his teeth, combing his hair, making sure his uniform is impeccable. He finally walks out of his dorm with Hunk in tow, approaches the screen where their rankings will be displayed and his stomach drops.

“Oh, buddy,” Hunk murmurs. “I’m sorry.” 

When he calls home he feels like a failure. When Veronica makes the time to see him he feels pathetic even though all she does is ruffle his hair, kiss the top of his head, and reminds him there’s still a chance, that the ranks are always changing, that something might happen that will move Lance forward, make him an exception. 

He’s smart but not smart enough to become an engineer like Hunk so he bitterly takes the position of a cargo pilot, at least that way he’ll still be able to _fly_. That’s all he's been dreaming of since Veronica got into the Garrison. The fact that he was almost going to make it into space had changed his goals, his outlook in life.

“Well,” Hunk shrugs as he carries a box full of gears into their room. “You didn’t know you wanted to explore space until a few years ago right? A lot of people here are legacies, a lot of them have contacts inside.” 

“I have Veronica,” Lance mutters, crosses his arms as he closes the door behind them. 

“Yeah but Veronica isn’t some powerful general yet. She’s barely a graduate, right?” Hunk sets down the box on his desk, plops down next to it and immediately starts fiddling with the gears. 

“I just don’t get how they want to keep someone like Keith, _who stole Shiro’s car by the way_ , has disciplinary issues, is always going out of formation during our training and drills and not keep me! I don’t even think Shiro knows who I am.”

“I don’t think Shiro knows who anyone is,” Hunk hums, sounds a bit dreamy. “He always looks like he has bigger things on his mind.”

“Yeah,” Lance sighs, falls back on his bed and clutches his pillow to his chest. He should probably be studying, trying to get his scores higher, reach the goals he’s set for himself. 

When they step out for their lunch Lance doesn’t expect to see Keith outside of their room. He’s walking briskly, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, shoulder hunched forward together and Lance narrows his eyes, immediately feels that bit of jealousy, envy, want nipping at his fingertips and throat until he’s moving forward and bumps into Keith on purpose.

Keith stumbles for only a second before he’s turning to look at Lance with narrowed eyes, his teeth clench and he grunts. “What?”

Lance opens his mouth before he can stop himself, before he can think of what he actually wants to say, why he even pushed himself into Keith in the first place so he’s mortified when he finally speaks. 

“You suck at teamwork,” Lance tells him, what he really means is that _they_ don’t make a good team together, that Keith doesn’t make a good team with _anyone_ , that he _never_ will and Lance feels _sorry_ for him but Keith wouldn’t understand that, wouldn’t get the meaning behind Lance’s words.

“Whatever,” Keith mutters, turns and starts walking away again, this time his hands are clenched next to him but they ease out of their tight fists suddenly and when Lance looks over he spots Shiro and professor Adam standing together, waiting for Keith with small smiles.

Lance thinks they probably missed the entire exchange because they’re not shooting him disapproving frowns, both take a step apart from each other so Keith can fit in between them and Shiro rests a hand on top of Keith’s head, shakes his head fondly as Adam places his hand against Keith’s shoulder.

_Jealous, jealous, jealous._

Before Shiro takes off on his latest mission he gives a speech in the conference room. He looks around proudly and Lance smiles when Shiro’s eyes meet his briefly before they’re moving on. He tells them to be brave, to remember what their goals were when they decided to become part of the Garrison, to never stop reaching for the stars, to be patient and kind.

When he goes missing Lance has been at the Garrison for four years, is seventeen, and completely crushed. When he goes missing Lance had been thinking about how he has gone through a number of crushes and nearly relationships because for some reason he can never seem to seal the deal, silly and useless thoughts in the grand scheme of things. Had been selfishly thinking that was one of the most pressing issues of life but Shiro goes missing and Lance sees Keith’s icy demeanor crack in the middle of their strategy course.

He sees Keith’s eyes become darker, anger bubbling in his fingertips, sees him get up and run out of the room and Lance stands without really knowing why, is about to run after him but the confused stares of everyone around him stop him. He sits back down, shakes his leg incessantly, and tries to push away the worry he feels for his rival.

He probably shouldn’t celebrate when they move him into the fighter pilot class. It’s hard not too though when he goes home for a break with Veronica and as soon as he opens the door confetti flies to his face. His entire family is there, shouts _Sorpresa!!!_ so loud Lance can practically feel it in his chest. He forgets Keith for the moment, he forgets Shiro, forgets the circumstances that got him where he is. 

Instead he eats cake, spicy stews, and as many fried things as he can before he’s waving away the plates that just keep coming.

When he steps out for some fresh air he looks around the street he grew up in, drags his eyes back and forth over every single house, can see himself at various points of his life, remembers every injury he ever went through, every scraped knee, sprained ankle, broken fingers, scratched arms from falling when he attempted to learn how to skateboard.

He turns to his right and starts to walk down the street, his hands pressed into his pockets, When he approaches the community garden he looks up at the familiar tree from his childhood. It seemed bigger when he was only ten years old, climbing it over and over, racing Marco and Rachel to the top. He smiles when he sees the flowers are starting to bud, will soon enough bloom, and then the petals will rain down.

If Lance had been traditional about his confessions he would have brought someone here to do it. He would wait until Christmas season so the tree was decorated with fairy lights, the chill of the snow forcing them to stay close together, whisper the words he’s always wanted to say when thinking about confessing to someone. He’s never had his first kiss but it sure would be nice for it to happen here.

The failure of the simulation stings and he thinks the judgement is unfair because Lance has only been a team with Hunk and Pidge for a little bit over three weeks and they’re simply just not a good team yet. This is the first time Lance is experiencing the fighter pilot simulations, the first time he actually has to put his strategizing to the test in the heat of the moment even though he’s usually pretty good at it during exercises in class. He doesn’t think it’s fair because every other team outside of the simulator has been a team for years.

“We should do something about this,” Lance says when he and Hunk are changing out of their uniform in their dorm later. “I think if we just bonded as a team we would be able to get better results.”

“Yeah buddy, that’s a great idea,” Hunk hums and Lance glances at him to find him nodding his head, pulling his shirt over his head. “Except it’s going to be a little bit difficult since we don’t have any free days until this weekend so…”

Hunk trails off and he’s right, he truly is, but the itch of shame isn’t rubbing off Lance yet and he wants to do something about it _now_. He’s trying to remember what he and his siblings would do to cheer each other up but everything feels like an inside joke and personal. Like having a screaming match with Rachel and an hour later dropping their favorite childhood chips on her face as a peace offering. Like fighting with Marco and bumping fists later at dinner to let each other know all is forgiven.

“There’s nothing we could do right now anyway,” Hunk continues and Lance rolls his eyes. “Not unless we snuck out.”

“That’s it!” Lance shouts. “Let’s go out! Find some ladies, get our flirt on, share a sundae. Team bonding!”

After they found Pidge sneaking out of his room and out to the roof Lance hadn’t expected this to happen but here they were now, watching the ball of fire descend and slam to the ground. He grabs the binoculars and takes a closer look at the lady general, wiggling his brows to himself because she’s cute. Her blonde hair is tucked nicely under her hat and he can tell she wears a cat-eye proudly even though it’s not regulation approved.

“That guy’s my hero,” Lance says, leaning over and frowning as Pidge says they gotta get Shiro out of there. He’s about to formulate a plan, suggests they need a distraction when a bomb goes off a few meters away from the site. When he snatches the binoculars again from Pidge he half expected there to be an alien waddling around on the sandy terrain but instead his teeth grit when he sees who it is, his stomach swoops and makes him nervous before his competitive side is jumping out instead.

“No way! Oh he is not going to beat us in there. That guy is always trying to one up me!” Lance shouts.

“Who is it?” Hunk asks.

“Keith!”

“Are you sure?” Hunk asks.

“Oh, I’d recognize that mullet anywhere.”

“Who’s Keith?!” Pidge shouts as he runs after them.

His heart is already racing before they even start running, there’s something bubbling in the pit of his stomach and he leads the way as they run into the tent. There’s people knocked out on the hall, no one stops them on their way as they follow the trail of fallen bodies. Lance bursts through the last door finally he sees Keith standing with one of Shiro’s arms draped over his shoulders.

“Nope. No you-- no, no, no. No, you don’t,” Lance shouts, impulse taking over as he walks to Shiro’s other side, pulls the metal arm up and around his shoulder.  “ _I’m_ saving Shiro.” 

“Who are you?” Keith asks, raises one eyebrow as Lance glares at him.

“Who am I?!” Lance shrieks. “Uh, the name’s Lance.”

No response. Weird…

“We were in the same class at the Garrison?”

“Really? Are you an engineer?”

“No, I’m a pilot! We were, like, rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck.”

He couldn’t have been imagining it this whole time, right?

“Oh wait, I remember you,” Keith says suddenly and Lance looks over. “You’re a cargo pilot.”

“Well not anymore,” Lance is _offended_. “I’m fighter class now thanks to you washing out.”

“Well, congratulations.”

He wants to say something witty back, wants to tell Keith to shove something where the sun don’t shine but they start moving instead. He usually wants the last word but is willing to not drag it on right now because Shiro is braced over both of their shoulders and the one thing they can agree on right now is the fact that they have to get him out of here.

Lance doesn’t want to admit it but it’s kind of cool how they escape in the hoverbike, it’s scary in the moment but it’s also exhilarating, makes Lance wish he knew how to pull those moves even when he’s pretty sure they’re going to die. He doesn’t really know how because he closes his eyes but they make it out alive, arrive at some crusty shack in the middle of nowhere and spend the night sleeping on the floor while Shiro takes the couch, still unconscious.

Keith’s words sound like the ramblings of a crazy man the next morning and he’s about to say as much when Shiro suddenly turns to him, says, “Lance, right?” confidently and offers his hand for Lance to shake. He’s not proud of it but he hesitates, afraid of the mechanical arm, half dazed from everything that’s happened, even a little bit giddy at the fact that Shiro _knows his name_. He’s pretty sure he hadn’t introduced himself either, maybe he did notice Lance after all back in the Garrison. Maybe Veronica told Shiro about him.

Lance doesn’t want to get too ahead of himself but they kind of feel like a team. The five of them walking through the desert, looking for Voltron, slipping into a cave full of carvings of lions that glow as soon as his palm runs over them. There’s something tugging at his stomach, a feeling of coming home before they’re dropping through the ground and landing on water. He sees it first, sees the field of energy around it, steps forward after Keith because he doesn’t want to be left behind again.

It’s crazy but it feels like the lion is staring at him, following him with its gaze. He knocks on the field on a whim, feels warm _and_ terrified when energy field drops and the images run through his mind, the lion bows its head and Lance runs inside, doesn’t want to waste time or let Keith beat him to it.

He doesn’t have to worry for long because as soon as he takes a seat he knows no one else can do this. It's like this was meant for him, like he’s the only one this lion would respond to. The lion confirms it when it talks to him, feeds ideas into his mind that get them through their first encounter with the ship shooting lasers.

Let’s him know when they’re about to slip into the portal that appears, he asks Shiro beforehand, wants to respect him and feels giddy when Shiro calls them a team.

“Alright, guess we’re all ditching class tomorrow…” Lance sighs, flies directly into the portal.

He’s smitten with Allura almost immediately. Only flirts with her at first jokingly because that’s who he is, someone that drops lines on all the pretty girls he meets but her tenacity blows him away. Even as he’s pretend fighting with the man with orange hair he still has her on his mind.

After they find the rest of the lions, after they form Voltron for the first time in a panic, after they save the Aurusians and swear to defend them as their first allies they become defenders of the universe. Or whatever.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s warm. Unbearably warm as he comes back, as his eyes flutter open slowly and he sees Allura next to him. Her hand is on his, a soft smile on her face, and Lance realizes what just happened, what he just went through. He's sure his entire life would have played out for him if Allura hadn't brought him back.

“You saved me.”

“I owed you one.”

Getting out of the lion is difficult after that but after he’s stretched a few times inside it his limbs are finally responding to the cues from his brain. He can feel the heavy worry of Red on him but Lance reminds him that both of them went down. Red practically shakes his head at Lance and the mental image makes him chuckle slightly, his fingers running through the screens still active ( _not the same. You have soul._ )

He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, refuses to and goes on about business as normal, after a long hot shower where the tension further melts from his muscles he hops out and finds Hunk and Pidge fiddling with some Galra tech. It’s boring but he knows Allura is probably busy since he couldn’t find her, he sits down near them and watches as Hunk’s big fingers are nimble enough to slot small parts into others.

He’s tracing the smooth skin of his arm when Pidge and Hunk suddenly get up and he stands with them, follows them with his hands inside his pockets as they head to the hangar they’re keeping Lotor’s ship in.

He’s not ready for what he sees. The ache that’s always lingering in his chest gets worse, he can’t even mask his expression with a fake smile as he watches Lotor and Allura grow closer until they notice them. They brush them away and Lance can’t bite his tongue as he asks them if they’re sure they don’t need a third wheel like anyone ever does.

It feels like that ache has been around since Keith left them for the Blade. A different type of ache but an ache nonetheless. He thinks about it as he fills the small bowl with warm water, puts in a few drops of soap in it and shakes it with his fingers until there’s a few bubbles. He offers his palm to the first mice in line and when they hop on he slowly and carefully lowers them into the makeshift tub, helps scrub their fur clean.

“How do you guys even get this dirty?” Lance asks them and they squeak a story at him that he pretends to understand and smiles at.

He thinks about what he said to Allura before he risked his life for hers without a thought, before he gave up his life willingly for her. Feels like he can hear Keith’s voice scolding him or scoffing at how he would do something so foolish without thinking about himself.

Lance had gone so long rejecting the idea that Keith was his friend that when he had finally accepted it Keith had decided to leave the team. It hadn’t been easy for them to get where they were and Lance couldn’t lie to himself and pretend he didn’t resent Keith’s decision and even resent Keith just a bit.

Maybe he had a hero complex because the first time he remembers truly bonding with Keith had been after he had thrown himself in the way to protect Coran. He had denied it later, didn’t want to admit what he had said to Keith because he knew what it meant. After years of rejecting Keith, after years of seeing him as a rival the sudden development as Keith held his hand was… shocking.

_We did it, we are a good team._

He had said it easily as soon as he had seen Keith’s face, couldn’t hold back his smile and Keith couldn’t either. The tilt of his lips had left Lance even more breathless than he already had been and he had flashes of memories from their days at the Garrison, from their time in space, their small interactions that had seemed meaningless but had grown small pieces of affection for him slowly in Lance's heart.

He couldn't hold the words back as he looked into his nearly purple eyes, as he felt Keith's fingers wrapped securely around his own, saw the furrow of his brow and downturned lips.

_We did it, we are a good team._

His reward had been Keith's smile and that had felt like more than enough as Keith slid an arm behind Lance's shoulders, let go of his hand to slip the other under his knees. Lance had knocked out soon after he felt Keith stand with him in his arms, had been shoved in a pod to heal his wounds and rest.

When he had gotten out of the healing pod later, when he was sitting at the head of the table with food goo, and Keith said _we had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!_ Lance had made the split decision to deny it, shook his head and told Keith he didn’t remember it happening. He ignored the thudding in his heart as he did, looked away from Keith quickly.

Those words mean something to Lance. He's never said them lightly.

“Alright, next,” Lance murmurs once he’s done drying the first mice, plopping the new one that hops into his hand into the bowl after filling it with fresh soapy water. “What do you guys usually do when you try to deny something really hard, huh?”

The mice keep squeaking at him conversationally, the first one already curled up on his shoulder taking a nap as they wait for the rest to be done.

When the Black lion had chosen Keith Lance had been inevitably annoyed but he had learned how to move past it, had pushed his insecurities and their differences aside to accept him as their new leader. Red had chosen Lance shortly after, had shut him out of Blue, made him feel like a part of himself had been lost after he had gained so much from the moment Blue had dropped the particle barrier to let him in when they found her on Earth.

Red had chosen him soon after and Lance began to learn how to become the support for their leader, for Keith. He unknowingly picked up on Keith’s small habits, learned how to read even the most minuscule expressions on his face. Had spent so many days chasing down Keith and usually finding him in the training room overworking himself and soaked with sweat.

“Hey man,” Lance had said in one of these occasions, shoved a water pouch into Keith’s hands and Keith had looked up at him through his sweat-soaked bangs, given him a grateful smile. Just a few days ago Keith had given him what Lance assumed was supposed to be an inspiring speech that had just left his heart fluttering instead. These smiles made his heart beat painfully in his chest. “You should take a break.”

“Thanks,” Keith replied in a scratchy voice, cleared his throat and sucked nearly half the pouch through the straw in one go. “What's up?”

Lance had spent so long denying they were friends, was still denying it even though they were nearly flawless as they led Voltron together, as Keith dropped control on Lance when he couldn't think of a rational plan. Keith always seemed to know what he was thinking, the right words to say to cheer him up.

“Hey, I'm the one checking in on you. _I_ should be asking the questions,” Lance scolded Keith with a smile and soon enough the two of them were laughing.

Keith had slapped his shoulder gently once, given him another one of those breathtaking smiles and motioned for Lance to follow him as he walked out the door. “I get it, I get it,” he had said. “I'll rest.”

Lance had wanted them to find Shiro. He really did. But everything had changed once he was back. He could feel Keith giving up his leadership slowly, couldn't find him around the castle because he was gone on missions with the Blade, wanted to confront him when he finally got back from one of them after a close call where they needed Voltron.

Instead when he showed up in Keith's room he had said all the wrong things, had let his insecurity slip, because looking at Keith had made him feel like he was better suited to be flying Red. With six of them back the lions would have to choose again and Lance might be left out of the equation, Lance might lose one of the only things that made it worth it being here in space, so far from home after a split decision before he flew Blue into that portal.

 _Leave the math to Pidge_ was what Keith had said, had made Lance turn to look at him one last time, had been smiling confidently. Lance had smiled back and the tension had melted from his shoulders. He had sat on Red's chair confidently, gripped the controls firmly, said _we are a team_ to him and Red had rumbled an agreement.

After Black chooses Shiro again Keith is quick to leave them. Lance misses him immediately, joins the group hug as they say goodbye to Keith after he makes his decision. He wants to hold him back, wants to grip his wrist and remind him they're a team, a duo that is so close to being unstoppable if Keith just slows down enough for Lance to catch up.

He has to learn the way Shiro leads instead, has to learn how to take a seat back when Keith would usually turn to him, has to learn how to follow all of Shiro's plan without any input from him. Equals no longer but rather four kids running to keep up with Shiro's prowess.

Maybe it’s then that his feelings for Keith grow into something beyond friendship. It’s a feeling so large he can’t exactly name it because it doesn’t feel like the brotherhood he shares with Hunk. Instead it’s something that makes him both frustrated and happy at the same time. It’s something that keeps him on his toes always, trying to become better, to prove to himself that he can be someone greater.

He can be more than the Lance people think they know. Keith as a leader had pushed him, Keith as his friend had encouraged him. Keith leaving had slammed him back down to square one, where he once again is trying to find a place for himself, to show that he can be more than just the right hand of Voltron, one that doesn’t even move of its own volition anymore unless instructed to by his new leader.

And what’s worse is that at one point Lance had idolized Shiro, had looked at him and seen a hero, and he still did to an extent while they also tried to see him as a friend and not someone they had to be stiff around constantly, but something about Shiro had changed the second time he came back and Lance just wishes he knew what.

“Okay, we're all done,” Lance smiles at the mice, waves at them before he’s heading out.

He sprawls on the couch, ready for some time alone but the mice immediately run to him, crowd his face and since the ache in his chest from Hunk and Pidge teasing him about Allura marrying Lotor is still there he huffs. “Oh great. You guys here to make fun of me too?”

He can’t help his reaction as one of the mice falls into his mouth, even though he did just help them clean up Lance never knows what exactly they get into and he’s sure even those few minutes they spent apart the mice have already rolled themselves all over something gross. He drops them to his stomach and slouches as much as possible.

“Ugh, can’t a man sulk in peace?” he asks them, pursing his lips together. The mice squeak at them. “Mhm… I’m pathetic. I used to make fun of people who would get their hearts broken.” That feeling in his chest grows as he says it, finally voices what he’s feeling. “Heck, I was the one breaking hearts!” Not true as far as he knows, all his flirting attempts had always gone south and the ones he was actually successful in lasted a day before the girl was breaking things off with him the next day before heading to class.

The mice squeak at him curiously and he looks down, reaches over with one hand to absentmindedly stroke over the head of one of them. “I guess I never knew what it meant to like someone the way I like Allura.”  He sucks on his bottom lip for a second, rubs his face. Allura isn’t like anyone he’s ever met before, his feelings go past just her pretty face. It’s about what’s inside her, about how she acts, about her personality, about how she makes Lance want to be different, better. “She’s smart, courageous, and makes me want to be a better person.”

Lance has always been both too much and never enough. He’s always worked twice as hard to fit in, to be smarter, to keep up with everyone around him. He always had a dream of being well liked, charming, the first person someone turns to when they’re in trouble, when something is weighing on their mind. If he was with Allura, if Allura found him worthy enough, then other people would see that too, right?

“That is so weird to say,” Lance scrunches his nose. “And I can’t even tell her how I feel.” He curls his hands into fists, shuts his eyes tightly. “...She wouldn’t take me seriously anyway. I don’t have anything to offer.”

He’s always been Lance. Just Lance.

“I’m just a boy from Cuba,” he sighs. “Not a space prince like Lotor.” He looks down at the mice, sighs when he finds them sleeping. “Are you guys even listening?”

It’s impossible to move now. He doesn’t want to wake up the mice even though he definitely feels like they were mocking him. Instead he lets out a huff and shuts his eyes himself to take a nap.

They’re definitely together. They’re definitely together and Lance has to hold his tongue even though he can’t really believe it. There’s a voice in the back of his head still screaming not to trust Lotor but when he had brought it up to Hunk and Pidge they had looked at him with half lidded eyes before glancing at each other and saying at the same time _You’re just jealous, Lance_. Lance may be a jealous person at times, he might even be justified right now to feel jealousy even though he knows he’s not entitled to Allura, but he would never let that get in the way of his judgement of Lotor. There’s something shady about him, has been there since the first time he approached them with apparent different intentions.

It’s there even if the others can’t tell, so Allura may have agreed to be his girlfriend or whatever aliens call it and she might trust him but Lance is going to keep himself on his toes. He won’t interfere no matter how sad he feels, won’t show the way it stings to see them stand close together without even realizing that they have little to no personal space.

It sucks in no uncertain terms. It just sucks.

If he could he would call Rachel right now, cradle the phone against his ear and tell his sister how he feels and Rachel would understand him because they always somehow could even when they had never experienced it before. Like the first time Lance broke a bone and Rachel had known just what to do, just how to help him adjust his hand, would wake up at the same time he did in the middle of the night when the throbbing was too bad to sleep through it and ignore.

He wonders if Rachel can feel the way he feels even from light years away. He wonders if their connection will remain strong even when he returns. He hugs his knees close and stares out of Red’s windows, rests his chin against his knees and he sighs.

( _It’s okay_ ) the thought is awkward, the way Red shows it is by putting the image of that spicy goo Hunk had given them a few weeks ago and Lance had said _it’s okay, better than bland goo_ as they dug in. ( _You important to me_ ).

It makes Lance laugh, makes him shut his eyes once to see the full image that Red is trying to put through, to enjoy the feeling of warmth deep in his belly that makes him feel instantly better. When he opens his eyes again Red has dimmed the displays in front of him and Lance sighs softly.

“Thanks, buddy,” Lance tells him, pats the dashboard gently once.

Red shows him something else in a flash and Lance frowns, curls a little bit closer into himself because even though it was quick it had unmistakably been Lance and Keith clasping hands victoriously after a battle. Lance gets it, knows Red is just trying to feed his mind with good feelings until Allura and Lotor drop out of the heavy feeling in his chest for a while. Red has good intentions but it just makes the longing Lance is feeling grow stronger.

He wonders how Keith is and Red echoes his feelings even though he makes it clear Lance is his paladin now. Lance appreciates it, likes knowing that he is still number one to Red despite everything. Red echoes his feelings because they haven’t heard from Keith in months, haven’t been in touch with the Blade and Kolivan instructed them not to reach out in case their message broadcasting was intercepted.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” Lance says and Red rumbles in agreement and then hesitance comes through as images of Red jumping to save Keith from his death multiple times come to mind. “Great, we definitely needed to panic about that too.”

Monsters and Mana leaves him feeling lighter. Despite not knowing what they were really doing, Lance thinks he did pretty well for himself. He’s not naturally smart like the rest of the paladins, always worked hard to keep his grades up so it shouldn’t have been a shock that he didn’t know how to play games he had never been around. He could destroy his siblings in simple board games and racing video games but this was completely different. It relied heavily on his imagination, on problem solving, on strategizing in the heat of the moment and Lance had been able to do most of it with ease.

He’s about to suggest they do something else when Allura receives a call from Lotor. His eyes narrow and he can’t stop himself from eyeing the display and noticing Allura’s reaction to his call. Her entire body languages changes, her smile is different from the ones she gives them, her tone of voice grows fond and Lance can see her feet tapping on the floor like she wants to dance or something. She could probably break out into a musical number right now just from the energy a phone call from Lotor brings her.

She stands easily when Lotor asks for them to meet, basically runs out of the room and Lance watches her with his brows furrowed, can tell his lips are downturned into a frown. He swallows once thickly because suddenly there’s a lump in his throat. He wants to stand up, run after her and tell how he feels for real this time. Actually put a confession out there that she can’t help but recognize as something more than just a “joke”.

Hunk and Pidge get up after, run with their new revelation to repair whatever they had been working on and leave Lance with Coran and Shiro. His shoulders slump and he agrees to another round of the game. It might not be as fun with just two of them but there’s nothing better he can do, nothing more he can offer for their advancement in the battle for now.

Red is restless and it feeds more into the restlessness Lance feels as they wait for Allura to return from the quintessence field. There’s always been something odd about having Red as his lion, always made him feel like he couldn't get away from him for even a moment because Red was always on the back of his mind, almost nagging as he tried to advise Lance on everything. It helped in terms of not feeling alone but was a hassle when they would both feel the same thing and the feeling wasn’t a good one.

He was used to the euphoria when they won a battle, when Red flew fast and wasn’t restrained by Lance in any way. But there was something else that had Red worried today, a feeling like something important was about to happen and neither of them knew if it was good or bad.

A ship hails them.

Coran recognizes it as Altean. An uneasy chill runs through Lance but Red… Red is ecstatic.

When they get closer to the screens as they accept the call Lance’s eyes widen when he sees Keith.

“Shiro, it’s Keith.”

 _No shit,_ Lance wants to say. ( _Yes_ )

“Keith! Are you okay?”

“Where have you been?” Pidge asks.

“And how did you get your hands on that pod?” Coran asks, already rubbing his mustache.

Lance opens his mouth once, can’t tear his eyes away from Keith. He feels the giddiness from Red at knowing that Keith is okay when they had just been worrying about him no more than a day ago. He tries to push away the excitement, tries to focus on something but instead his mouth feels dry and he’s eyeing Keith and he says, “Does he look… _bigger_ to you guys? He’s bigger, right?”

No one answers him but Lance doesn’t really mind because he really can’t tear his eyes away from Keith.

His hair is a little bit longer, his shoulder are broader, his arms are filled out more in a way that makes Lance feel both jealous and nervous at the same time. He shakes his head, swallows once and asks in a small voice, “No?”

“Where’s Lotor?” Keith asks, looks annoyed.

“He’s in the quintessence field,” Hunk answers helpfully and Lance can’t even look away from Keith long enough to glance at Hunk.

“Oh no,” Keith groans.

They gather on the hangar the ship is coming into, Lance curls his fingers next to his hip in an attempt to feel strong, to ground himself. Instead his stomach swoops forward and he nearly stumbles as he sees Keith hop out of the craft gracefully. Everyone stands back, looks wary even but Keith is like a magnet to Lance, he steps forward before he can even think about it.

“Keith, it’s so good to see you,” Shiro says and Lance should probably stop but he just walks forward faster.

He can feel Red wanting him to tackle Keith into a hug that the both of them will be able to feel but Lance has enough control over himself to _not_ do _that_.

“Hold on,” Lance says, swallowing once as Keith starts to walk forward as well, they’re going to meet halfway soon enough. “How do we know you’re the _real_ Keith and not his bigger, cooler, grizzled older brother?”

Keith is so close now Lance can see every detail of his face, can actually tell how much longer his hair is. He opens his arms because Red is still insisting they hug but Keith walks past him briskly and Lance falls a bit, his shoulders slump and Red ( _Ouch_ ). Yeah. _Ouch_.

“I don’t have time for this, Lance!” Keith sounds annoyed as he says it and Lance can’t help but feel the sting in his chest because that’s the tone everyone has been taking with him lately. The one that says Lance isn’t worth someone’s time or that he isn’t needed in whatever is going on. Really only Coran doesn’t push him away but that’s just because Lance helps him clean up the castle. In a way his nagging reminds him of the days his mama would wake them all really early with music blasting and they just knew it was going to be a day to leave everything sparkling.

 _(Ouch_ )

“Hey everybody!” Lance shouts, tries to mask the hurt. “Keith’s back!”

An Altean jumps out of their ship, then a Galran, then a wolf of all things.

“Lance is right, you have changed,” Shiro says.

“Time is different where I’ve been,” Keith says as a form of explanation and Lance just bites down harder on his lip because now that he’s said that Lance can _see_ it. Can see how Keith’s changes aren’t just physical. They are the most obvious but there’s also an air of confidence that hadn’t been there before, of growth, of learning who he is as a person.

They have a moment that feels too much like family reuniting and Lance can’t help but burn with jealousy.

“What?!” Lance shouts, bursting closer to them. “Okay, this is nuts! You come back with your Galra mom, a wolf, and an _Altean_?!”

Keith is hellbent on getting to Lotor and any other day Lance thinks he probably would have jumped at the opportunity too but Allura is with Lotor right now. Allura is with Lotor and they can’t put her in danger, she doesn’t deserve to be caught in the middle of Lotor’s mess. The Altean, Romelle, tells them her story.

Lance’s shoulder shrink closer together the more she talks, the more she describes one of the most evil acts a person can commit. He feels fear settle deep in his bones because Lotor could have easily done that to any of them, probably has some sick plans to use Allura as a pawn in his plan to reach the power he wants. The worry for Allura is heavy in his chest, a feeling that comes along with betrayal from Lotor, and barely contained rage from Red.

“I can’t believe he fooled us,” Lance says quietly.

Everything after happens too fast. Too fast for Lance to even think about it. Lotor and Allura return, they wait for Allura to be out of the ship and away from Lotor. She came in through the door smiling, her expression falling as soon as she saw their look. Her protective stance in front of Lotor hurts Lance but Lance won’t set down his blaster, not right now, not when they don’t know if they’re safe with Lotor inside. When Allura throws him everything happens even faster.

Shiro goes crazy, Lance stares at him with his shoulders hunched because he’s clearly in pain. He’s incapacitated which means that if Shiro can’t give them instructions then Lance has to do it.

“Allura and I will secure Lotor,” Lance shouts, turning to the others. “Hunk, help Shiro. Everyone else, get down to the hangar and stop those guys!”

Shiro attacks them. He attacks them with no hesitation but _they do_ hesitate on fighting back, they don’t want to hurt him. When Lance lifts his head he can see Shiro has Lotor draped over his shoulder, walking through the doors calmly. Lance gets to his feet with Allura’s help and he listens to Keith over the coms as he asks them if they can pilot their lions.

“We’ve got this,” Lance groans, straightening up the next time they hear Keith’s voice.

 

Keith claims the Black Lion again easily. He can picture him running to Black, getting him to activate in merely seconds the way he never did for anyone else. When they hear the roar Lance drops into the seat of his lion. There’s a tangible excitement in Red, one that feeds into Lance as he can’t help but feel like some balance has been restored to their group. It’s shocking how immediately at ease he feels knowing Keith, knowing he can trust him, remembering the way he led, knowing that he would take into account not just what Lance had to say but what the rest of the paladins had to say as well. 

It’s sloppy at first, they’re in a panic, they’ve just been betrayed by Lotor even if Lance didn’t ever really trust him but Keith makes the right calls, tells them to form Voltron and it comes with so much ease, with so much practice, Lance feels like they could unlock new features with this Keith. With a Keith that is clearly so different from the one he used to be before he was gone.

They need to save Shiro but they can’t hurt him in the process either, it was clear from the moment Lance saw his eyes that he wasn’t himself. They’re yelling at each other, but it’s organized, in a way that just makes them communicate more. Keith calls out to them and Lance answers without any hesitation, knows that following Keith is going to take them to victory.

In the midst of everything he can’t help but think that they can never catch a break, since the first moment they stepped into space someone was always missing from their group, from their little family. First Matt was missing, then Shiro dissapeared, then Keith left them and as soon as they were all together once again. Now Shiro is suddenly running away from them, becoming something he is not, hurting them when they know that Shiro would never. Shiro was always careful, would look out after them and take care that they were safe, that they were confident, that they felt good about themselves.

Maybe that’s why Shiro hadn’t felt the same since his return. That must be why he would snap at Lance for the smallest things even though Lance had convinced himself a long time ago that he couldn’t expect anything more than that treatment.

They disband Voltron, thrust Keith into the portal. They had been hesitant at first but as soon as Keith says it, as soon as the words are out of his mouth, “ _Do it!_ ” they pull apart.

The ease Lance had been feeling immediately slips away, they have no idea where Keith is now, they stay in that same loop where they keep getting separated, keep losing one of their team except this time it’s two of them. Lance can only grip the controls of Red tighter, breathes in through his nose and exhales through his mouth slowly a few times, and he pushes back both of their panic at losing Keith _again_.

They can’t do anything but return to the castle and wait. Allura can’t find the point where the wormhole has dropped them. The ship starts to fail, Pidge saves them but the virus returns.

( _Tired_ ) Lance hears Red say in his mind, the sound is soft, barely even touches the corners of his memories with an image of Lance groggy in his dad’s arms as he’s carried up a staircase. _Me too_ , Lance sighs. He understands what Red means. Lance is tired in body, but his emotions and mind are also extremely exhausted. He doesn’t know if he can handle any more information, he doesn’t know if he can process the revelation that Shiro had also been against them maybe the entire time.

After Pidge manages to get the system back under their control they all split into different parts of the castle to do different tasks. Red keeps digging through Lance’s mind in an attempt to find a way to express himself and even though it feels a bit like invasion of privacy sometimes Lance doesn’t want to discourage him. He peeps into a bunch of Lance’s childhood memories and Lance can tell which ones he files for discussion later, rolls his eyes when he sees him spot all his unsuccessful romance escapades and the first time Lance had met Diego. Red stops his scan at this. Lance is sitting in front of his controllers and his fingers stop typing slowly as he bites his lip.

( _Why bad?_ ) Red asks and Lance knows he’s just asking why Lance had protected that memory. Why he felt a bit ashamed by it and had been doing his best to hide that part of himself since he was young. To brush it off as some admiration he had felt for a new friend.

 _It’s not bad_ , Lance purses his lips, crosses his arms. _I just don’t think it’s me. I was just confused._

Apparently he’s still denying it.

( _Okay_ ).

Red doesn’t push it, moves on quickly from it and keeps scanning through Lance’s mind. Lance is surprised at all the things he actually remembers, at all the things his mind has stored, things that feel like miniscule details, like stuff that wouldn’t be important enough to file in his memories but they were there, stored for him to reminisce on in the future, stored for Red to grasp easily as a way to convey his feelings to Lance.

When Coran starts asking for Allura Lance glances to the side, looks at Allura with worry and Red immediately stops his snooping.

“Allura?” Lance calls out, lets his shoulders stay slumped as he leans in a bit closer to the screens in front of him.

“Oh, right,” Allura says. “What is it you need?”

“ _The reboot sequence, can you run it again_?” Coran asks.

Maybe he’s always been susceptible to other people’s… or alien’s emotions because Lance can tell immediately that something is wrong with her. She’s distracted where she otherwise would have been engaging with them, doing her best to formulate a part of the plan she could take care of, something only she could do, but instead her eyes seem hazy, the corner of her lips in a permanent downturn, her eyebrows scrunched together or as low as they can go.

( _Comfort_ ) Red says with no words, just reminds Lance of a hug from his mama and Lance nods to himself before he’s standing. Allura deserves comfort, needs it right now after everything she’s gone through in the past few hours. He moves behind her and Romelle and Krolia leave the room as Allura turns off the screens they had been looking at. Lance tries to put himself in her shoes, tries to imagine what being betrayed by a partner would feel like.

He has to push back the jealousy that comes with acknowledging in his mind that Allura and Lotor were together, has to put aside the pride that had been his downfall multiple times throughout his life. He turns to look at Allura again and when he does he doesn’t just see the girl he’s been in love with for over a year, he sees his friend.

A friend in need.

“Allura, are you okay?” Lance asks, tilting his head to the side, staring down at Allura and wishing he could wipe away her frown, could smooth her eyebrows into a relaxed position.

“I’m just so angry with myself for allowing this to happen,” Allura says, her gaze steady on whatever she’s grounding her focus to. “I played right into Lotor’s hands.” She blames herself.

“You didn’t put us in this situation,” Lance says, his fingers curling into firsts. “It was Shiro who went rogue and released the virus on the Castle.” Something about those words still feel wrong because Shiro hadn’t felt like Shiro for so long. Shiro would never do anything to harm them.

“No, this is my fault. I trusted Lotor,” Allura purses her lips, keeps her arms crossed over her chest as if trying to protect herself. “I helped him build and empower his ships.” ( _Used, feels used_ ). Lance is _too_ familiar with that feeling.

She’s looked away by now, talks about the quintessence field and the coalition and Lance feels a pang in his chest. And Lance… Lance can’t let her feel like she was alone in this, like it’s all her fault, like trusting Lotor had been a decision she had made by herself that affected all of them.

“Allura,” he starts, furrows his brows together. “It wasn’t just you who trusted Lotor. We all did.” His eyes shut and he takes a deep breath, letting some of that jealousy curl on his stomach. “I had more reason than anyone not to trust him, but he did _everything_ right. He didn’t just fool you. He fooled us all.” It’s true. Lance had always felt that Lotor couldn’t be trusted but he had pushed away his suspicions because he believed they were all in his head from his jealousy. After all, everyone else seemed to have accepted Lotor easily, even Coran had no complaints as he and Allura grew closer.

Allura turns to look at him and Lance just lets himself feel. Feel the squeeze of his chest at an expression like that on her face, feels the urge to reach out and give her a hug like the ones his mama used to give him. He’s shocked when she’s the one that steps forward suddenly, the one that wraps her arms around him and clings to his back, her cheek pressed against the side of his neck. Lance doesn’t hesitate as his arms reach up to do the same, to embrace her in what he hopes is a comforting way.

“Let me tell you, as someone who’s made a million mistakes,” Lance starts, his heart thumping quickly in his chest and he’s grateful for the layers of armor between them because it means she can’t tell. “All you can do is get up and try to make it right. You can’t doubt yourself now. We need you, the universe needs you.”

“Thank you Lance.”

They pull away when they receive a comm alert and look to the screen.

“ _Hailing the Castle of Lions. This is Keith_.”

“Keith!” Lance shouts, can’t help the grin that comes over his face. “You’re okay!”

Keith explains part of what happened to Shiro, sends them information on Lotor, tells them to hold on as long as they can without him.

✧✧✧

Lance doesn’t really know how they always make it out of their giant battles mostly intact. But here they are, sitting together in a planet, basking in what little sunlight they are getting and a sense of relief is settling over all of them now that Shiro’s presence is back. It’s not the first person Allura’s brought back from the dead but it’s the first one that’s staying in a body that wasn’t originally his own.

The lions had roared in triumph as soon as Shiro had sat up and the tears had flowed freely between all of them. They had made their decision to go back to Earth fairly quickly, knew that that was the best course of action for them and Lance hadn’t let himself be filled with too much giddiness at the thought of seeing his family again. After all they weren’t sure they were going to make it, they were going to have to set out there by themselves. They might be able to find some help from the coalition as they went along but the journey would be tough. One they would have to make without the Castle of Lions. It’s embarrassing but as they had been preparing to leave Lance couldn’t help but run to his room and grab as many of the little trinkets he had collected for his family as he could pack. And as he had ran out of the doors, he stuttered to a stop in front of Keith’s door, tapped his fingertips lightly against it and walked inside to grab the folded jacket on Keith’s bed.

He knew Keith wouldn’t think about it, would be too busy getting everyone together and making sure they had all the needed inside the lions. Lance quickly shoved the objects inside a chest of the Red lion’s storage. He then ran out, gathered the animals in one place sans Keith’s cosmic wolf. Kaltenecker wouldn’t budge but Lance shoved at her insistently, patted her side gently a few times to encourage and step by step they made it inside. Lance had felt like he was risking his life just to get her to safety.

When they take off he wishes he had made a game plan for himself because it really doesn’t take him long to be too much again.

He does too many stupid things on their trip to Earth.

He gives Keith his jacket and stores away Keith's smile for later, accepts Keith's apology about how he behaved when he first arrived. _There was just so much going on_ Keith tells him, lets out a long sigh. _I'm glad to see you again_ . ( _Nice Keith, no more ouch_ ) Red hums and Keith and Lance smiled at each other in the same knowing way like Keith can still hear what Red wants him to.

He burns with jealousy when Keith rushes off to save Acxa. Tries to focus on anything else after the looks they share don’t slip past Lance. Red has a secret about Keith he doesn’t share.

He calls Keith the _future_ . Red doesn’t let him down from that one for a long time. He calls Lance a _silly boy_ with a memory of his abuelito helping Lance up after tripping.

He lashes out when they’re deep in space, loses it and lets his tongue run loose when Keith wants to leave them. Someone always wants to leave in this team, it seems. He tells Keith to go be a lone wolf just like he did before but he doesn’t mean it. He’s just reliving the hurt of Keith being gone while they float in that endless void hooked together by their arms. Lance couldn’t even feel his arms anymore when he opens his mouth. Red had saved him from the strange space creature and lightly scolded Lance for telling Keith to leave because they both knew they couldn’t handle something like that again.

That’s probably when it starts. Lance drops off all the hostility and jealousy he had still been allowing himself to feel towards Keith and instead embraces it as a challenge again, as something that would help him move forward. He followed Keith on Earth with no hesitation, helped with their strategies, covered his back, playfully bantered even in the middle of a tense situation with sniper robots and Galra and new mechanical giants growing out of nothing.

They beat Sendak or at least Keith does. And they bring down the robeast that shows up after. They do everything that they needed to do to secure Earth’s safety with battle after battle and yet...

Why can’t Lance be satisfied?

He grips the cup of tea tightly with his fingers, has too many thoughts swirling in his head and Red is too far away to bombard him with peaceful memories, but the fact that he would try is enough to get Lance to ease up on the tense form of his shoulders. Hunk convinces him somehow to ask Allura out.

His wording is off, the situation isn’t ideal, he waited too long and he doesn’t want to spend their last night on Earth for a while away from his family. Shiro told them to be with the ones they love and Lance is split in two wanting to be with his family and Allura too. So he asks her to dinner with his family, accepts her initial rejection but their friends convince her. He takes the chance, allows the excitement to build on his fingertips.

He wants to do this right, wants to prepare properly for a date with her so he seeks out Coran and he immediately shuts Lance down. Tells him he’s not worthy of Allura in no uncertain terms.

All he wants is some advice but when Coran says that Lance’s mind can’t help but conjure the figure taller than him, broader than him, more confident than him, purple skin, yellow eyes, long flowing white hair, _Altean_ , _royalty, Altean Royalty_. He ticks off everything on Coran’s list of expectations for a partner for Allura. Must be why he never opposed to it despite the fact that he was Zarkon’s son. He was the only viable option.

He feels like he is less, his shoulders sag, he wants to make up some sort of royal title he has on Earth but they _are_ on Earth and it would be so easy for Coran to confirm what Lance is saying. Coran shoos him out of the room, tells him to wait before he knocks again and is allowed to come in. Part of him doesn’t want to, wants to turn away because Allura already said yes and he doesn’t need to look for any approval or help. He knocks anyway.

Steps inside and rolls his eyes at the decor that’s suddenly filling the room, goes along with it when Coran tells him everything he needs to change about himself to be worthy of a person like Allura because he’s right. If he can’t be royalty he could at least dress like someone who is, could at least do his best to learn about Allura’s culture just like he hopes she’ll want to learn about his. Coran is having fun as Lance stretches his arms and lets himself be draped with ridiculous items in an attempt to make the closest they can make to the outfit Coran insists Lance needs even though he was just going to wear something casual.

 

He bites his lip way too hard when Coran wraps sausages around his neck and says they resemble the medals Alfor would drape around his neck. When they’re done Coran pushes him out the door and tells him to find an Aurusian to bless his outing. He stumbles out into the hall, tempted to shed off the ridiculous outfit, an itch in his fingertips, an ache in his heart because even with this makeshift outfit he still isn’t good enough. Doesn’t feel good enough.

Dating someone shouldn’t be this hard. 

He wanders through the halls of the Garrison, peeks into every room and ignores everyone’s wide eyes and snickers as they see him. He pokes his head into Hunk’s room and quickly closes the door when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for even though he’s not exactly sure _what_ that may be. When he sees Pidge being fussed over by her mom, her arms crossed he starts to get an inkling of what it might be he’s looking for. Next he spots Shiro in the cafeteria nursing a cup of coffee, there’s heavy circles under his eyes, he’s rubbing his temples and is completely alone for a moment before Adam sits next to him, the jagged scars on his face are as shocking as Shiro’s. Still, Lance frowns because shouldn’t they be spending time with Keith right now?

Keith.

 _Keith_.

Of course.

He stomps through the halls with renewed energy, ignores the clattering of the pots on his shoulders and the way the sausages around his neck thump against his chest as he picks up speed. He runs outside, looks towards the lions and asks Red with his mind if he’s seen Keith. He thinks he can feel Red hum with curiosity but his meaning is clear when he flashes an image of Black on Lance’s mind.

His gaze drifts towards the Black lion and he squints because from this far he can’t tell exactly where Keith could be. He’s about to knock on the Black lion’s paw to ask for entry but Red’s energy sends a ( _no higher, climb)_ , through his mind and Lance cracks his knuckles, gets to work. He finds his footing and a grip and is propelling up, finding new places to cling to easily, energized as he makes his way up, his breath rarely faltering.

When he gets to the top he rounds the head of the lion, finally sees Keith and Kosmo sitting together, staring at the sunset. Lance’s shoulders sag in relief, he feels a weight being lifted from them because Keith is exactly what he needed right now. Keith is going to make him feel better, laugh with him about the outfit instead of at him, will have some encouraging words from a leader, and even if he doesn’t have anything to say he’ll still let Lance sit next to him, will keep him company until the nerves buzzing under his skin finally fade away.

“Man, you can be a really hard guy to find when you wanna be,” Lance grins, he’s grunting with the effort but he hops closer and grins when Keith turns his head to him after greeting him, moves back in shock at the sight. Kosmo barely even spares a glance at Lance and the entire interaction is so familiar to him but he stays standing, tries not to feel too embarrassed.

“ _Whoa_!” Keith shouts. " _What_ are you wearing?”

He sits after telling Keith Coran made it for his date with Allura, props his arm on his knee and keeps his gaze lowered, doesn’t want to see how Keith might be looking at him right now because he had enough of everyone’s ridicule. He had been so sure on his quest to find Keith that he wouldn’t have the same reaction but now Lance wasn’t so sure.

“Well done, Lance,” Keith is smiling when Lance spares a glance at him finally, he can’t help but return that smile.

There’s something about Keith.

( _He’s nice_ ).

He is. Lance knows he is, but it’s something else. Something that brings his walls down, that lets him be vulnerable, that allows him to voice out his insecurities. He tells Keith he’s worried this will be his last date with Allura, that he can’t keep up with Altean customs, in short words trying to convey the feeling that he’s not worth it. He’s not Lotor.

He keeps his gaze lowered to his knees, fiddles with his own hands by tapping his fingers against the back of his hand. There’s something like tears wanting to build up but he doesn’t want to cry, doesn’t want to be that weak and Red bombards him with strength, with courage, and with the notion that even if he did cry Keith wouldn’t look down on him for it.

Keith knows all the right things to say. _It’s because she likes you_ . Doesn’t feel real, doesn’t seem right after he had chased her for so long. _The annoying, stupid, Earth version of you_ . As if the version on space had been any different, and normally Lance might have taken offense to those words but the way Keith says them isn’t full of malice. There’s fondness there. ( _Leo special_ ).

Lance laughs at that, isn’t sure if it’s because of what Keith is saying or what Red is saying, or if it’s both. He feels a surge of affection from both of them, a surge of comfort. He wishes he could lean his back against Keith’s, wishes they could both splay back and Lance could throw his legs over Keith’s lap as they chat about whatever.

He tries to change the subject but Keith finds a way to loop things back to Lance. _We’re gonna do it with the Lance that’s the paladin of the Red Lion_ . ( _Me, me, me!_ ) Red’s pride at the words is overwhelming and Lance still can’t believe sometimes how easy it is for them just be a team. _The Lance that’s always got my back_ . It had become second nature, not just to Lance but to both of them. _And the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer_ . ( _I pick good_ ) Red rumbles in the back of Lance’s mind and flashes all of Lance’s best moments through his mind.

Lance feels like his heart stutters, incredulous at the fact that two of the greatest souls he’s met see him like this. Like someone worthy. He can only stare at Keith until Keith finally turns to him. There’s no words on the tip of his tongue, only gratitude, peace, belonging blooming in his heart.

All Lance can do is smile.

Keith comes back to his house with him, follows him up the stairs to Lance’s old room after greeting his family with respect and a friendliness Lance had once thought Keith wasn’t capable of. He looks like he belongs, like he could easily slip between them and join them in all their events. Lance’s parents love Keith, his niece and nephew are fascinated by him and look at him with the same stars in their eyes like when they look at Lance.

“They’re a handful, huh?” Lance asks Keith as he closes the door behind him. He pulls the bucket off his head again and sets it down next to the wastebasket in his room, trying to ignore how they look exactly the same. Keith paces to the middle of the room and he’s looking around curiously. Lance pulls off the sausage links from around his neck, drops them inside the bucket and places both of his hands on his hips as he stretches on the tips of his toes.

“I like them,” Keith answers, shaking his head before he moves to Lance’s old desk and pulls back the rolling chair to sit down. “They’re very nice. I can see why you’re such a kind person.”

“Heh,” Lance shrugs one shoulder, walks to his closet and throws the door open because he can’t let Keith go off on a speech like that again without feeling something he’s not sure how to handle. Again. “Thanks. Let’s get to work, though. I really need to find something appropriate to wear tonight.”

“What did you wear to your dates before all of this?” Keith asks and Lance can hear him fiddling with his small figurines and jars of skin care products.

“Um… well, you don't really go out on dates when you're a kid,” Lance shrugs. “You just hang out at school and hold hands, y'know?”

“Not really,” Keith mumbles and Lance turns to look at Keith. There's a hint of sadness there but if he's not elaborating Lance isn't going to push him.

He hears Keith stand and suddenly he's next to Lance, peeking into the closet as well with his hand on his chin thoughtfully. He reaches in and Lance steps to the side slightly, watches as Keith flicks through the hangers quickly before he stops and pulls out a blue sweater. He turns to Lance and holds it up against his chest and nods.

“You should wear this,” Keith says. “And some nice jeans, maybe? Nothing with rips on them, I guess, though those are my favorite.”

“Okay,” Lance agrees, pulls the hanger out of the shirt and tosses it inside before closing the door. He pulls off the rest of the ridiculous outfit and starts working on the buttons of his shirt. Keith stares at him with wide eyes before he's turning abruptly and fiddling with Lance's posters. There's one of Shiro next to his window and he'd normally be embarrassed but it's Keith.

He pulls the sweater over his head when he's out of his uniform, digs through his cabinet until he finds a pair of jeans with no stains or rips and pulls those on as well. When he's done he glances in the mirror and his shoulders slump in relief because yes, this is exactly what he should be wearing to a date with Allura.

“What do you think?” Lance asks, holds his arms open when Keith turns to look at him.

“You look great,” Keith says and a small smile curls over his lips and he glances up and down before his eyes settle on Lance's. “You got this.”

“Thanks, Keith,” Lance mumbles, smiles and stretches his arms.

They stand those few feet his room allows away from each other for a while and Lance thinks he might be imagining it but Keith looks a bit resigned. He turns again and taps the poster of Shiro with his finger once.

“Adam had one of these in their room framed, Shiro was always so embarrassed. I wonder if it's still there. Y'know, underneath all the rubble.”

“Maybe,” Lance hums and walks over, snorts once. “When I put this up I never would have imagined I would one day be in a team with Shiro.”

“We're not just a team,” Keith mumbles. “We're a _good_ team. A family.”

“Yeah, kind of like how you and I make a good team too, huh?” Lance asks as his hands tuck into his pockets.

“So you _do_ remember,” Keith says and he tries to sound stern but it comes out as a fond annoyance instead. “I think we are a good team. I've always thought that.”

There's nothing too special about this moment, nothing besides what those words have always meant to Lance. The way they curl around him sweetly and make him feel a flutter in his chest. He looks to Keith and words are on the tip of his tongue that he will not let out tonight, maybe ever if the night goes well. And he thinks this is the moment he finally admits to himself that his heart is split in two.

His knees feel weak but he stays upright, can't deal with the bitter-sweetness overwhelming him and he can hear Red faintly in the back of his mind trying to ask if he's okay and Lance hates to worry him but Red would know if Lance had died so he's sure he won't suddenly burst through the ceiling of his room. Keith plops down on his bed and when Lance looks at him he feels all over again like _Keith belongs here._  

He can imagine their past selves hanging out here, can imagine inviting Keith to this house and playing video games, board games, eating the snacks his mama made for all the kids as soon as they were back from school. He can picture the both of them on his bed, their legs propped up to the walls as their heads would hang over the edge of the bed.

He kind of wishes it had happened. That he hadn’t been so angry at Keith for reasons he didn’t want to admit or understand. He could have been Keith’s friend. Maybe then Keith wouldn’t have left that first time and all of this would be easier. Blue was going to find Lance one way or another, though, he knows that much.

His mama invites Keith to stay for dinner and Keith drops his head forward and his lips part into a beautiful grin that makes Lance smile as well. He sees Veronica walk by with her nose buried in a book but she spares a glance at Keith when he chuckles and shakes his head. Her eyes dart to Lance and she raises one eyebrow before she’s slipping into the living room calling for Rachel.

“Any other time I would say yes,” Keith says, lifts his head again and gives his mama a smile that has her eyes widen in what looks like pleasant surprise. “But, I think you’re expecting another guest later tonight.”

“Oh, that’s right,” his mama says and her accent is thick and Lance remembers a time he used to be embarrassed over it but he doesn’t care anymore. “When you’re back from space then.”

“That would be great,” Keith nods and accepts her embrace with only a bit of awkwardness in the slope of his shoulders and Lance feels a little bit of pride at the fact that he’s never seen Keith bunch up like that from touches from him and Shiro as the only exceptions.

When Keith walks down the steps he spares another glance over his shoulder at Lance, lifts his fist and mouths the word _fighting_ which Lance only understand because Keith has done the gesture before as a way to encourage people. He had explained it with a shrug of his shoulder as Lance had laughed and showed a cheer of his own. Lance leans against the doorframe and it makes a hollow feeling grow in his chest as he watches Keith leave.

So yeah, he thinks his heart is split in two.

Definitely knows it is when he sees Allura and feels the flutter in his stomach at how beautiful she managed to look even in regular Earth clothes.

It's backwards and Lance knows it. Traditionally he should be picking up Allura but at this point in their Earth stay while the whole world tries to recover from the damage there's not much he can do. He takes the final steps down to meet Allura, can feel the excitement buzzing in his chest, familiar butterflies rushing around.

There's something satisfying about finally being in this moment. Lance feels like he's been struggling uphill for forever and the view now that he's reached the top is breathtaking. The background fades away, it's cheesy but it does. All he can really see is Allura. His mama fades away from view and he takes those last few steps down to meet Allura and return her smile in kind.

It's not as easy as he hoped it would be. There's a nagging in the back of his mind that keeps telling him he's not good enough, that a princess would never care about him the way he cares about her. They sit together for dinner and Lance bears the embarrassing stories piling up one after the other because with his family it's just teasing, gentle banter that goes back and forth but he wishes they wouldn't say anything because Allura already has an image of him. He really wasn’t looking forward to making it worse.

He feels a rush of panic when Veronica mentions Keith and looks at him knowingly after he finishes freaking out over the idea of the two of them together. Maybe the reaction comes because he knows they would make a good match, have similar personalities and goals. He can’t stand the thought of Keith being with someone, though. Anyone. 

After dinner he asks Allura if she wants to take a walk before he sends her home. The entire time his heart is in his throat, chest tight,  he's pretty sure soon enough he’ll sweat through his shirt but he pushes it. When they reach the small community garden that used to be down the street he feels a pang of sadness at the condition it's in.

This place is personal to Lance. It’s one where he can picture himself going through various stages of his life in its hidden spaces and best benches. The most prominent one though is the tree right in the middle. It’s withered down, burnt by who knows what, makes him sigh because that tree had been standing there for years and years beyond when Lance was born. He and Rachel used to spend hours hiding in the branches, wishing they could build a treehouse.

Allura brings the entire area back to life, Lance feels so warm at the gesture that he tells her he loves her. It’s hard to believe that the words came out of his mouth, he’s afraid he’s going to scare her off with a sudden confession like that. It’s their first date but he has been chasing her for so long, his feelings have been growing nonstop and he just goes for it. He tells her he loves her, shares a kiss with her that he hadn’t dared hope for tonight.

He’s worrying about his breath until their lips press together chastely, and his worries fade quickly and he only wishes this can be enough comfort for her. With just this first kiss he’s sealing a promise to her, to be there for her, forever. As long as she wants him.

Lance tucks the photo the robot took into a book when he gets back to his room, takes it to his bag and slips the book inside to make sure that he doesn't lose it. A memento from the first time he was with Allura as more than just one of her paladins, one of the people that follows her, as more than just a friend.

When he lays down at home later and reaches for his phone. They’re still connected to each other and the Garrison. He scrolls past some messages from Hunk with photos of what he’s been cooking, annoyed texts from Pidge complaining about her mom and witty text messages. He doesn’t have anything from Allura and he worries whether or not sending her a message just after he’s dropped her off will be pushy.

Instead his thumb scrolls down to Keith’s name and he presses on their thread without thinking.

 _Just got back. It went great!_ Lance types out with a grin, biting his lip at the rush of butterflies again

 _glad to hear that. I knew you could do it_ , Keith replies rather quickly, the speech bubble popping up before Lance has the chance to set his phone down.

_Thanks man._

He snickers when Keith sends back a thumbs up emoji, presses down on the power sensor to put it to sleep again and pulls the blankets up to his chin as he buries himself in his blankets. It’s the last time he’ll be able to enjoy his worn down bed for a while.

He didn’t kiss Allura again when they came to a stop in front of her room in the Atlas. He instead pulled her into a hug, amazed at how easily she fit in his arms, something he had already known from their embrace that they had shared after Lotor’s betrayal but he hadn’t wanted to see it like that back then. Not then. She had returned his hug with a small smile after having her lips curled down into a frown during most of their exchange near the tree.

He had held his tongue and didn’t tell her he loved her again despite the fact that he really wanted to. Red had been close enough that time to say ( _slow_ ) and Lance had nodded, kissed Allura’s hand instead.

They’re in space the day after.

Lance supposes the huge difference between back when they were just teens and a commanding officer trying to figure out how to survive is that this time they have a ship full of people, full of an indispensable crew. It’s not too quiet anymore, there’s real food not just goo, they have a gym, meetings around an actual table, one where he now sits on next to Allura with no worry that she’ll be annoyed.

They leave those meetings holding hands or with their shoulders nearly pressed together. They find rooms where they can be alone together to talk. Their relationship is fresh and there are some things that they’re still figuring out. Lance stills feels like he’s walking on eggshells sometimes, can see that Allura has more than enough on her plate. She’s stressed about the Alteans on the ship, anxious about how she can get them to talk to her and trust her. She’s worried about how they’re going to get to Honerva and Lance knows, he just _knows_ that if she just stopped worrying so much things would find a way to work themselves out.

It puts a strain in their relationship, one that has them arguing tensely in the only moments that they have to themselves eventually, ones that leave Lance feeling drained and like he’s failing somehow. Failing her and failing himself.

“Allura, take a break,” he says when he finds her pacing near the room where they have the Alteans. “We could go eat something… cuddle… whatever.” Lance grins, gets closer to her and Allura spares him a glance and she has a small smile on her lips but it fades quickly as she glances to the doors again.

“I need to focus on this, Lance,” Allura sighs, rubs her temples and gives him a quick look again before she’s briskly walking down the hall.

“She just has a lot to think about,” Keith tells him as they sit across from each other in the cafeteria, he’s looking down at the plate of food in front of him but his eyebrows are scrunched together. “We all have a lot of things on our mind. She really cares about, you know that.”

It’s crazy how Lance’s appetite returns quickly after that. He stabs one of the pieces of vegetables from his plate and pops it in his mouth.

“You’re right,” Lance grins, kicks at Keith’s feet under the table and Keith finally looks up, he rolls his eyes at Lance but smiles anyway. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know,” Keith shrugs a shoulder, grins. “Making plans on how to save the universe, training, sleeping.”

“You take really long naps?” Lance grins, grabbing his cup to take a sip of the cool water.

“I got used to them in the space whale, not much else to do while getting glimpses of the past and future,” Keith shrugs a shoulder, pops a carrot piece in his mouth. “Might as well keep it going.”

“At least you’re not killing yourself anymore in the training dock.”

“Speaking of,” Keith says suddenly and his gaze lifts to meet Lance’s a flash of an excited challenge in his eyes. “Want to spar after this?”

“I’ll blow my guts out if we don’t at least let the food digest,” Lance snorts but nods his head anyway. “Sure, I have something to show you anyway.”

“Holy shit,” Keith says, his shoulders slumping and blade falling from his grasp as he stares at the Altean broadsword Lance materializes. “How…”

“It’s super special, one of a kind,” Lance brags, shrugs his shoulder once but he doesn’t drop the sword the way Keith did.

They’re both drenched in sweat at this point, drops falling from Keith’s hair and down his neck. Lance is trying very hard not to stare because yes, he thinks he _likes_ Keith and he’s not exactly sure how far that goes but he’s with Allura now and even staring like this feels like too much. He had been shooting at Keith’s feet with his blaster at first, they had been chasing each other around, nearly tapping each other’s backs each time they got too close but now Keith drops everything.

He takes a step closer, touches the tip of Lance’s blade and Lance doesn’t move because if he does he’s sure he’ll somehow injure Keith and this is just playful sparring. Keith drags his fingertip smoothly down the side of the blade before he steps back and grabs his own again.

“Do you know how to use it?”

“I was hoping you could help me with that,” Lance grins.

When they walk out of the training room they’re both still trying to catch their breaths. Lance picked up quickly on all the moves, having seen them before from Keith had been a huge help but when he slowed them down, when he let Lance practice along the movements had flowed easily. The sword starting to feel like an extension of his arm rather than an accessory to it.

Keith slaps his hand gently between Lance’s shoulder blades, offers him one of the towels he was holding and Lance wipes down his face carefully, runs the towel over the back of his neck to gather all the sweat building up.

“Thanks for that,” Lance grins, nudging his shoulders with Keith. “Oddly enough I feel better.”

“I still don’t think you have anything to feel bad about,” Keith mutters, walks over to one of the fridges next to the door and pulls out two water pouches, tosses one to Lance and Lance catches it right from the air.

( _Like mama and papa_ ) Red rumbles in Lance’s mind and Lance swallows once when he sees the flash of his parents cooking in their small kitchen, tossing ingredients back and forth to each other.

He lets out a shaky breath and Keith looks up at him from underneath his bangs, raises an eyebrow and has a tentative smile on his lips but Lance hears someone say Allura’s name and he turns away, looks in the direction it came from and glances at Keith once more before he’s smiling apologetically. Keith nods and pulls the straw of the pouch back into his lips, salutes at Lance as Lance turns away to run up to Allura.

“Allura!” Lance shouts, catches up to her and stumbles those few lasts steps to a halt in front of her.

“Lance,” Allura looks up, smiles and Lance leans forward to press a quick kiss against her cheek.

He offers her his hand and she takes it quickly, easily, their fingers lace together and Lance knows she should probably be a little grossed out at how sweaty he is and want to keep her distance but she doesn’t.

He doesn't have a lot of experience with relationships but he takes every moment with Allura for what it is. He spends a lot of time trying to comfort her, a lot of time trying to distract her from the things that are stressing her. He knows that once they get rid of Honerva things will change, she'll be more open to him, have more time for them to do more than just hold each other in one of their rooms while she talks about her worries and Lance listens with his fingers entwined tightly around hers.

They don't kiss often but when they do Lance always feels relieved that Allura doesn't seem too opposed to the idea. He holds her face gently in his hands as he presses a sole soft kiss against her lips, is satisfied with just one as the butterflies rush in a whirlwind in his belly.

He spends a good part of his time practicing with Keith, improving his moves with his sword, getting to know Keith better at the same time as well. He doesn’t always like everything he sees.

He’s sucking on a popsicle Hunk gave him while he dropped by the kitchens, humming happily as he scrolls through his phone and younger cadets keep eyeing him like they can’t believe he’s so carefree when he’s one of the paladins that have to fight Honerva headon. He doesn’t mind the stares, though, doesn’t have time to be grim when the next few weeks could be their last.  They’re already going to be taking off on Voltron by themselves soon enough, Lance knows this because it’s the only option that makes any valid sense. 

He comes to a halt though when he spots Keith’s and Krolia’s room. He knew they had insisted on rooming together because they were both used to making the space they had to them efficient and Lance didn’t really know how the both of them and Kosmo fit in the same tiny room but it seemed like they made it work. It’s not just thinking about Keith that makes him stop, though.

No, it’s who he sees coming out of Keith’s room. Keith leans against the door with a content smile as Acxa turns around to say something to him and there’s not a lot of distance between them, they stand way closer than Lance does with any of his friends and acquaintances. She says something else and Keith laughs, shoves at her shoulder playfully with his hand and Acxa doesn’t fight him back on it.

She instead braces her hand on his arm and he straightens her up carefully.

Lance can’t watch anymore.

What had been a pleasant sweetness of the popsicle before starts to feel sickly sweet and bitter at the same time. He grits his teeth and stomps through the hall on the opposite direction. He doesn’t want to see any more, can’t _make_ himself see any more.

( _Why_?) Red asks and Lance shakes his head, skidding to a halt once he’s in front of his room. ( _Tell_ )

“I like him, _I like him_ , okay?!” Lance practically shouts as he throws his blankets out of the way and climbs on the bed, scooting back until he’s pressed against the cool metal wall. 

( _Why bad?_ ) Red asks and it's the same way he had phrased it when asking about Diego and Lance can’t take it.

“It’s not normal, buddy,” Lance says, sniffles as he starts to tear up, confusion clouding every thought because he really shouldn’t care if Keith is with someone when he’s dating Allura. He shouldn’t care period because he doesn’t even know if being with Keith was ever even a possibility. The moment he had seen Allura by the stairs he had already made a decision to never say anything, to keep it deep inside until it faded, until Lance was completely entwined with Allura as his future.

( _You said he’s future too_ ) Red reminds him and Lance sighs. ( _Feels normal, like Allura_ ). Lance throws his head back and it smacks against the wall when Red bombards him with memories of all the moments Lance has had with Keith that make him feel like he could love him if they had found their way to each other somehow. If Keith was like him.

( _Talk to someone?_ ) Red asks and Lance knows it’s the best option but he doesn’t know who he can talk to about this.

( _Rachel?_ ) Red continues and Lance hugs his knees to his chest, eyes shut tightly, hellbent on keeping the image of Keith so close to Acxa out of his mind. He bites down hard on his lip, shakes his head.

“Rachel wouldn’t get it…. she’s not like me… like…. _like this_ ,” Lance whines when he feels anxiety build up in his chest. “Fuck.”

( _She likes them too_ ) Red tries to reason but Lance shakes his head and takes a few deep breaths.

“It’s not the same,” he spits out. “It’s _normal_ for her.”

 _I love you always. No matter what_.

“I know what she said,” Lance frowns. “You don’t need to use it against me all the time.”

( _Shiro?_ ) Red asks next, buzzing with worry as he tries to find a solution for Lance.

“Yes,” Lance gasps, pushes himself to the edge of the bed so he can stand. “ _Shiro_. Shiro knows.”

He walks to his door, waits for it to slide open and wipes at his eyes, controls the anxiety that is still building up. He looks around quickly, making sure he’s alone as he walks down the hall, trying to figure out where Shiro might be. He spots him in the cafeteria or the lounge for the commanding officers often but it’s almost midnight so Lance suspects he might be in his room getting ready for bed.

Red confirms it after asking around their lion quintessence network. He’s lost wandering up and down different halls with sleeping barracks and personal rooms before he finally finds Shiro’s with Red’s help. He hesitates for only a second before he’s knocking. There’s some shuffling behind the door, muted whispers and then the door is sliding open. Adam peers over Shiro’s shoulder with a raised eyebrow before he’s smiling at Lance.

“Hey,” Adam says with a grin.

“Lance,” Shiro mumbles, looks Lance up and down and then he’s reaching for a robe and pulling it on before Lance has a chance to say anything.

The truth is he was a bit stunned. They had both seemed so at ease being seen together and Lance just can’t process how something like that can be true. He could have never imagine reaching peace inside himself long enough to have something like that if he fell in love with a _man_. ( _Keith_ ) Red corrects and Lance tucks his arms into his chest, looks down and blinks quickly while he starts to breathe quickly again.

“Come on,” Shiro says when he’s ready, pulls Lance along with his human arm and Lance is glad his legs are long enough to keep up with Shiro’s pace.

They stop on one of the smaller observatory rooms. He sniffs once and rubs his arms to soothe down the goosebumps on them. He’s shaking a little bit but he’s not cold. It’s not that, it’s just nerves, words dancing in his tongue, self hate jumping out. Shiro closes the door and locks it l. Lance turns to him and there’s already tears there prickling in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Shiro asks, his body language is friendly, open.

It's difficult to accept that this is Shiro again sometimes. That he's back and the one that had been left behind before isn't going to lash out at Lance anymore for opening his mouth. He lets out a shaky breath and swallows once.

“Um,” Lance starts and Shiro usually reprimanded them when they did that but he doesn’t this time. “Something’s been happening to me lately…. I mean it’s been happening since I can remember but I always ignored it and rejected it and…”

( _Focus_ ) Red hums and Lance call feel it, lets his fingers relax from their tight curl.

“I think I’m gay,” Lance says in a rush and he barely understands it when it’s out but it doesn’t matter because Shiro hears him.

“What makes you say that?” he asks quietly, his head tilted to the side.

“There’s a boy,” Lance mumbles.

“And Allura?”

“And Allura.”

He nods a few times, mostly to himself, rubbing over his arms to push away that anxious itch.

“How did you know you were…. y’know,” Lance trails off, biting his lip.

“I don’t know,” Shiro mumbles. “I think I just always knew there was something different about me when it came to that. I was raised very strictly, hard to believe, I know.” Lance snorts when Shiro chuckles, his shoulders relaxing. “I didn’t really have time to think about it when I was younger because I was too focused on keeping my grades up but… I never felt any affection like that for anyone.”

There’s an unspoken _until_ to that but Lance thinks he’s waiting for him to say something else.

“I liked a lot of girls when I was a kid,” Lance mutters. “I had a lot of crushes. So I just thought…”

“It’s not as black and white as it seems,” Shiro approaches Lance slowly, reaches out with one hand and rests it against Lance’s shoulder and Lance suddenly feels grounded to the floor. The nerves dissipating slowly. “You can like both, all. You can like none.”

“I don’t want my family to hate me,” Lance says, pursing his lips when he feels the bottom one wobbling at the words.

“I don’t think they would,” Shiro whispers.

“But you can’t say so for sure,” Lance sighs, drops his shoulders. “I don’t even know if I want to be like this.”

“I don’t think we get to choose.” Shiro’s voice is soft, he walks to the glass and narrows his eyes. “The feeling gets easier eventually… but…”

“But?” Lance asks, breath bated.

“Don’t let a _person_ be the one that makes you feel better about who you are. Think about it over and over until you know for sure, until you’re happy just knowing who you are. Don’t rely on someone else. Don’t lean your entire identity on one person. Be it Allura or the boy making you question yourself.”

“You want to know who it is, don’t you?” Lance asks.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Shiro smiles at Lance when he turns to look at him and Lance feels his heart thump in his chest.

“ _Because you already know, oh my god,_ ” Lance gasps suddenly.

Shiro’s eyes widen before he’s laughing, shaking his head and reaching out with both hands to grip Lance firmly by his arms, stopping him from moving around. “No, Lance, relax. I have no idea.”

“Oh,” Lance mumbles when Lance when he process the words. “Okay, okay." 

“Do you think he could like you back?” Shiro asks when Lance stops muttering to himself.

“No,” he sighs, is sure. “I’m not even going to go for it, man. I have Allura. I’m happy with her.”

“Right,” Shiro nods with a smile.

“Did Keith hate you when he found out you were gay?” Lance asks suddenly after a long silence, still can’t shake the image of everyone in his house but Rachel suddenly pushing him away. It’s out of character for them and he knows it, his family is so accepting, so loving; but he still can’t help but feel like they might not react with support if Lance came out to them.

“Keith?” Shiro asks suddenly, furrows his brows together and shakes his head. “Keith knew about Adam almost right after he came to the Garrison. He never looked like he hated me. Or… thought it was weird, I suppose. I think it helped him out a lot actually.”

“Huh?” Lance asks, raising an eyebrow. ( _Sleep?_ ) Red interrupts Lance’s sudden train of thought.

“Nothing, never mind,” Shiro chuckles, ruffles Lance’s hair and offers him a grin. “Thank you for trusting me. With this, with you.”

“Oh,” Lance sighs, shaking his head. “It’s… that isn’t something to be thankful for but… I am grateful that _you_ heard _me_ out.”

“I’ll always be here for you five,” Shiro’s eyes practically sparkle at the words and Lance grins.

( _Better?_ ) Red asks as Lance heads back to his room. ( _Not bad anymore?_ )

“I don’t know, buddy,” Lance says around a yawn, crawling into his bed and pulling the blanket up tight around his shoulders. “I think so.”

It was one thing to admit to himself that what he had been feeling for Keith went beyond just being best friends. Easy to push the feeling back and fill those gaping moments with Allura instead, with their still growing relationship, to focus on her until Keith was just someone he shared a comforting companionship with. It was another thing to be confronted with his emotions, jealousy, and affection all at once when seeing Keith with someone else. Something else entirely when he knew that he couldn’t have Keith even if Allura wasn’t in the picture because not everyone was like him and Shiro. Not everyone had to struggle with these differences.

“Has she said she loves you too?” Rachel asks Lance a few days later on the phone. He glances at the screen of his phone quickly before glancing away. Rachel has a facemask on and Lance is barely applying his own carefully, he dips the small applicator into the jar again and avoids her questioning gaze. “Guess not. Doesn't that make you feel sad?”

“She needs time,” Lance shrugs his shoulders. “I shouldn't have said it so quickly anyway.”

“Yeah but how many more times have you told her since?”

Way too many.

Every time they walk out of a meeting where Allura volunteers risking her life Lance pleads with her to find another way, tells her he loves her, that he doesn't want to lose her.

“I haven't.”

“You know I know all your tells, right?” Rachel snorts.

“I know she loves me too,” Lance mutters instead. “You can't make me feel insecure, Rachel, that's not fair.”

“I'm just trying to look out for you,” Rachel sighs and Lance glances at the screen again, sees she's pouting and he feels bad immediately. “I want you to be happy.”

Lance wants that for himself too but Allura makes things _ha_ r _d,_ she continues bringing up plans that put her in danger, ones that risk her life exclusively. The strain between them grows and Lance does his best to keep it under control. He does his best to keep his emotions in check as Allura continues on her wild chase to stop Honerva. He thinks she forgets she has a whole team ready to help her, one to watch her back.

He tries to catch her attention with random gestures, signs what feels like hundreds of blue lion plushies and calls it their thing even when Red rumbles his displeasure.

The most frustrating part is that it keeps amounting to nothing. She continues on her path, her decision made, gives them no room to discuss it or negotiate other ways.

He feels powerless.

He doesn’t just feel it but he is because Allura goes behind their backs, takes in that entity, embraces it and Lance sees an immediate change within her. Where she had once been just a little bit hesitant she becomes almost hostile in pushing him away. He chases after her because it’s all he knows how to do and Keith is always there to pick him up and dust him off before Lance takes off into a sprint again after Allura.

He meets King Alfor in whatever shared experience they’re having inside Honerva’s mind, makes everything about Allura when he should have probably been hearing something to help him become a better person. He figures that when someone’s been trapped for ten thousand years though, it’s better to let them know their loved ones are safe. Alfor practically blesses their relationship, shows no contempt towards Lance and asks him to take care of Allura.

When they finally catch up to Honerva and see the damage being done to the realities Lance knows that Allura is already formulating a plan. Blue warns him in a panic because the lions never like losing their paladins to something like death. Lance grits his teeth but can’t disband Voltron or call her out on something she hasn’t suggested yet. Instead he bites his tongue until they reach the core of existence.

Every time an alternate reality ends his gut twists with a sick feeling but they have to focus on getting Honerva restrained. When they finally do he knows Allura will turn to them and offer to die for the sake of existence.

Lance doesn’t let her. He’s ready to fight the decision.

He holds her back as she shouts at him to _just let her do this_ but he refuses to let go of his grip around her waist and Pidge grabs both of her hands to keep her back when she starts pushing at his arms. Honerva gives them a parting bittersweet smile but Lance doesn’t return it. He thinks he can see Lotor’s and Zarkon’s silhouettes as well and he can’t help but think maybe that’s one of the reasons Allura wants to run inside besides her father. Maybe she wants to be in the same consciousness as the one Lotor is in.

Honerva is enough to restore the realities. Lance thinks the power she had been cultivating for millennia has to do something with it. He loosens his grip on Allura when the bright light finally fades. When she stumbles away from him and Pidge lets go of Allura’s hands and she turns to look at Lance and her eyes flash bright with anger.

They don’t have time to talk though.

They run to the lions and form Voltron so they can get out as quickly as possible, to not disturb any of the timelines and realities.

“Allura,” Lance starts when he finally finds her back on the Atlas a few weeks later. Allura turns to him and her eyes are dull, shoulders exhausted because she had finally purged the entity out of her body with a lot of work. “Can we talk?”

“Yes,” Allura says and her voice is scratchy, she clears her throat and stands, spares a glance through the windows of the cafeteria where the rest of the Alteans are. They’re laughing, playfully shoving at each other and taking small bites of the food Hunk’s cooked for them. “I think we should.”

Lance feels his heart drop like a rock to his stomach. He has the feeling this conversation won’t go well and Red thrums with nerves with him as well. He curls his fingers into a tight fist and takes a deep breath, relaxing his posture as he exhales and he follows Allura as she walks past him.

They’ve been back on Earth for a few weeks and Lance had opted to stay in his room in the Atlas so he would be around if Allura needed him. Except she hadn’t needed him, seemed like she was avoiding him, and he had even seen her do it once but pretended not to because he wasn’t sure if he could handle a confrontation like that.

When she walks out of the Atlas Lance follows with his hands deep in his pockets and he takes another deep breath of the fresh air. Allura stops finally under a building going through some reconstruction. She turns to him and there’s that familiar downturn of her lips when she would see him in the past. Denial starts to crawl it’s way up Lance’s chest and he swallows once before he’s stepping close, leaning against the wall next to her with his arms crossed and a smile on his lips.

“My family’s been asking when you’ll come over for dinner again,” he says, raises an eyebrow. “What should I tell them?”

“Lance,” she starts, her brows furrowing together and she takes a small step back, away from him. “I…”

He purses his lips together, waits, feels already tears prickling at his eyes and he tries not to blink too much.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her shoulders slumping, a lock of her pretty silver hair falling from behind her ear and Lance wishes he still had the right to reach over and tuck it back in.

( _Oh no_ ) Red whispers and Lance nods his head slightly, pushing away from the wall.

“You are very important to me,” she continues when she realizes that Lance isn’t going to say anything. He can’t, his voice will break, he’ll start crying, he’ll burden Allura even more. “I’m just not ready for this right now. I’m not sure I’ll ever be. I care deeply about you, I _love_ you.” It’s the first time she’s said it but Lance doesn’t feel any butterflies or happiness, instead he feels pitied. “I really wanted us to work out, too. But…”

“It’s okay,” Lance cuts her off as she takes a deep breath, gets ready to continue. “You don’t have to say anything else, Allura.”

“I _am_ sorry,” Allura mumbles, rubs her arm as she looks away.

“I get it. I’m glad you gave me a chance,” Lance says and he’s relieved that so far his voice hasn’t broken and he hasn’t cried. He knows he will, can feel the tears lingering but Red is helping him keep his emotions in check. “We’ll be okay. Maybe not right away but it will happen.”

He takes a few steps so he’s closer to Allura, touches her cheek lightly with his fingertips once when she looks up at him and then they both step away at the same time. He walks her back to the doors of the Atlas and they split awkwardly at the end of the hall. He walks briskly to the kitchens while she wanders away to wherever she had been heading before their conversation.

When he finds Hunk and Pidge they’re both scribbling on a sheet of paper and crossing out each other’s algorithms when they find something that works better. There’s a rough sketch of a humanoid robot on the corner of the paper and they’re laughing as they both take spoonfuls out of an ice cream bowl.

“Hey guys,” Lance starts, pulls back one of the stools and sits on it. “Can I have some of that?”

“Sure thing, buddy,” Hunk says, drops a bowl with ice cream in front of Lance a few minutes later. “You okay, you look a little down.”

“Allura and I broke up,” he says, stabs the spoon into the ice cream and when he gets no response he looks up at them.

“Huh,” Pidge says.

“Yeah,” Hunk nods and Lance narrows his eyes.

“What?” Lance asks bitterly.

“I mean,” Hunk continues suddenly. “That’s rough, buddy, but no offense but you should have seen it coming I mean… Allura is a princess, will be an empress soon, you really didn’t expect her to have time to date a human right?”

He’s chuckling and Pidge rolls her eyes before she turns her gaze down to the piece of paper again.

“Honestly, Lance,” she says and Lance drops the spoon back into the bowl, pushes back from the table and hops off the stool. This somehow stings more than the breakup did.

“Aw, come on!” Pidge shouts. “Don’t be so sensitive!”

( _Ugly. Not nice_ ) Red rumbles in the back of Lance’s mind and Lance agrees, rubs his sleeve over his eyes when he feels the tears building up. ( _Field, big tree, near ships_ ). Lance’s shoulders sag slightly and he takes off in a sprint as soon as the image flashes in his mind, he barely avoids multiple collisions with people. When he makes it out of the Atlas he stops briefly to catch his breath, rounding the giant ship and heading towards the smaller transport hover bikes. He hops on one without anyone stopping him. He’s a paladin, a defender of the universe, he can confiscate a bike if he wants.

He reaches the field Red showed him within minutes, hops off when he can see Keith’s figure and he blinks a few times to control the tears. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say to Keith but he definitely doesn’t want Keith to see him crying. When he’s ready he walks over, stops next to Keith and drops down next to him, almost close enough for their shoulders and arms to press together.

“Hey Lance,” Keith looks up, offers Lance one of his small smiles, the ones he wouldn't see if he didn't know Keith as well as he does now. Keith looks down again, focused on untangling Kosmo's fur.

“Hey man,” Lance says, almost smiles before it fades, using his fingertip to stroke over Kosmo's nose almost to their snout when Kosmo stretches and rests their head against Lance’s lap too.

“He’s trying to get away from me,” Keith snorts.

They're in silence for a few minutes, Kosmo whines when Keith tugs a bit too hard but he immediately apologizes in a whisper, uses a baby voice that has Lance trying to hold back a grin despite how low he had been feeling before. When Keith is satisfied on how he’s tamed Kosmo's fur he looks up, stretches his arms and pops his fingers and back. He leans back on one hand and spares a glance at Lance who had been staring at him already. Maybe in the past that would have made him embarrassed but right now it feels like his heart is plummeting and the only thing that can help him feel better is Keith's company.

“You okay?” Keith asks, tilting his head and his hair droops to the side. It's too long but Lance can't help but think it suits him.

Without thinking he reaches over, tucks Keith's bangs behind his ear and pulls his hand away after like it's no big deal, like they do this all the time. Its soft, he hadn't expected that since he's never seen Keith wash it before  He notices the way Keith's eyes widen just a bit and then he's looking away, hand returning to Kosmo to pet their head.

“You make a big deal out of Kosmo's fur but don't even try to take care of _your_ hair,” Lance tells him with a snort that feels fake even to himself.

“Ah well,” Keith hums after, sounds a bit breathless and then Lance hears the snap of a hair tie. “I'll do something about mine later, right now Kosmo is more important, yes they are.”

Lance looks back at this, grins when he sees Keith has cupped Kosmo's head between his hands, has his lips pursed outward as he rubs his fingers over the fur of Kosmo's head. Kosmo's tail is wagging, their eyes shutting contently. He notices Keith's hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail, bangs still framing his handsome face.

“Allura and I broke up,” he blurts out and Keith stops fussing over Kosmo, let's go and lifts his gaze slowly to Lance, the corner of his lips downturned. “And… it sucks.”

“Are you okay?” Keith asks, scoots over when Kosmo lifts off his lap, close enough that their shoulders press together and he looks so concerned it warms Lance's heart because Hunk and Pidge had just looked at him unimpressed as if telling him he should have expected _that_ eventually.

“I…” Lance starts but he chokes on that single word and he blinks quickly, huffs and drops his head as his shoulders start to shake, tears start to fall and drag down his cheeks.

Keith's arm wraps around his shoulders, pulls him close and Lance buries his face against Keith's shoulder, staining his jacket with his tears. He cries for a long time, only really feels the breeze cooling his cheeks before fresh tears stain them, and Keith's hand rubbing his back slowly from time to time comfortingly. He's not trying to stop Lance from crying and he's grateful for that because his heart is splitting into pieces in front of his best friend and he knows exactly what to do. When the tears and memories of Allura finally start to fade out of his mind for the moment he's unwilling to pull away, rests his cheek against Keith's shoulder, stares at the mole on his neck and sniffs once.

When his sniffles die down Keith gives him a gentle squeeze and Lance lets out a broken laugh, pulls back and rubs at his face with the sleeves of his jacket, embarrassed.

“You'll be okay,” Keith tells him when Lance finally looks up. He looks like he believes it. “I… I'm sorry it didn't work out, but you _will_ be okay. You are a great guy… anyone would be lucky to… and Allura just wasn't the right person for you but she's out there.”

Lance can feel the watery smile on his lips, knows he's probably red from crying, has swollen eyes and his hair must be a mess but Keith looks at him anyway with his own half smile.

“Future Mrs. Red Lion,” Keith tells him, pats his back, is talking way more than he usually does. He usually fills their time with comfortable silence and Lance always talks his head off while Keith laughs or says _Lance!_ in an annoyed voice, or a snort, or a chuckle. He usually fills their moments with comfortable silence but right now Lance can tell he wants to say something he isn't sure how to put into words. It's okay, _it's okay,_ because Lance gets it anyway.

“Or mister,” he mumbles into his sleeve as he looks down, smiles in a way that feels real now, less heavy.

“Oh,” Keith mumbles and Lance looks up at him, is afraid Keith might think that's disgusting but he had felt comfortable sharing that part of him with Keith thanks to Shiro. “Right. Or mister.”

They're quite again for some time, Kosmo disappears and shows up again with a Garrison booth clamped between their teeth before they're dropping to the ground again to chew at it.

“Me too,” Keith says after a while.

“Huh?” Lance asks, looking away from Kosmo who had been ripping out a piece of metal.

“Mister Black Lion,” Keith says awkwardly with a wave of his hand. “If I ever… y'know.”

Lance's feels like his heart's dropped to his stomach at the reveal, curls his fingers to desperately hold on to some invisible anchor as the information starts to bounce around his mind restlessly and he wonders if maybe there is a _y'know_ in Keith's life and it’s not Acxa  this time and jealousy he still isn't ready to confront sits heavily in his chest.

“Cool,” he says instead. “Cool cool cool.”

“Yeah,” Keith laughs, leans back until he's dropping on his back against the grass. He crosses his arms under his head and shuts his eyes.

Lance hesitates for a second before he's doing the same, watches the clouds float by, pushed by the wind into different shapes. Their silence is comfortable again, makes that tight feeling in Lance's chest since his conversation with Allura lessen, stops the swooping feeling of disappointment in his arms and stomach, relaxes his shoulders from their tense position.

“If you ever want to talk more about it,” Keith mumbles after a while and Lance glances over, sees his eyes shut. “You can come to me.”

“Thanks buddy.”

When they finally pick themselves up from the ground Lance dusts off grass from Keith's shoulders and Keith does the same for him, pats his shoulder gently once and shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his cropped jacket as they make their way back to the Garrison for dinner. Lance jogs after Keith until he catches up, nudges their shoulders together and shoves his hands in his pockets as well.

“I'm starving,” Lance says, hops on his feet once. “I hope they have some soup and bread.”

“Comfort food,” Keith hums. “I want a steak.”

“Of course you do, partner,” Lance grins when Keith groans. “Yeehaw.”

“ _Lance,_ ” Keith huffs, rolls his eyes but Lance knows it's playful banter. Just like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 is gonna be super cheesy i hope yall are ready for a bunch of self-indulgent klance moments. im basically using all of my fave klance fanon headcanons and some more lol
> 
> goodnight 😔
> 
> theres some weird spacing going on with the italics but im too lazy to change it ;;
> 
> twt: @starlnce


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let’s stare at each other  
> and fall in love  
> amor amor  
> amor amor  
> [es lo que quiero](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWC4bJQy0mc)

After talking to Keith, Lance had hoped that the rest of his breakup would be easy to get over. He had felt confident that the next day he would wake up and continue his life without feeling anything past just a small ache at the knowledge but it was much more difficult than that.

He wakes up with his head hanging off the edge of the bed, blood pumping and making his head pulse. He groans and lifts himself as carefully as he can but he still feels the sudden rush of blood down his body, nausea rolling in his stomach, the headache worse than it had been when he woke up. He collapses to his side with a groan, pulls the blankets over his head. He can hear the usual morning chatter from his family, smiles at the familiarity of it.

He hears feet stomping up and down the stairs and he thinks it’s probably Sylvio and Nadia chasing each other around, which means that Lisa and Luis came over for breakfast, which explains why it smells like chorizo and potatoes, and why he can hear Marco and Veronica suddenly yelling at each other over whose turn it is to set the table. 

His mama’s voice is louder than the rest suddenly, she makes the kids stop chasing each other, tells Marco it’s his turn but Veronica has to help for complaining, and shouts at Rachel to go wake up Lance. He groans softly because now he has to get up, put on a brave face, try to clear out his red eyes from all the crying from last night, and tell his family what happened with Allura. 

Rachel knocks on the door lightly a few times before she pokes her head inside and Lance peers out of his blanket cocoon.

“Mami says get up,” Rachel says, pushes the door open the rest of the way and leans against the doorframe with her arms crossed, staring at Lance with a raised eyebrow. “You look like death.”

“Thanks, you too,” Lance groans, rolls over and scoots to the wall. 

He presses his forehead against the cool surface and feels the bed dip suddenly, Rachel pulls back the blankets and scoots in next to Lance on her back. They’re quiet for so long that Lance almost starts to snooze again but Rachel clears her throat.

“What?” 

“I heard you last night,” Rachel mumbles and Lance looks over his shoulder, sees her with her lips pursed, eyes on the ceiling. “Were you feeling anxious?”

“Um….”

“Did something happen?” 

“Yeah,” Lance sighs, rolls over so he’s on his back as well, rubs at his eyes a few times with his fingers and it’s gross because he hasn’t washed his hands and he’s stretching his skin and irritating his eyes even more but if he doesn’t do this he’s afraid he’ll start crying again. “Allura broke up with me... or we both just... knew we had to breakup? I don’t know.”

“What does that mean?” Rachel asks, turns her head to look at Lance and Lance does the same to look at her.

“She’s a princess,” Lance says, swallows once thickly. “She’ll be a queen soon. There’s so much to do so she can prepare for that and I think she would have felt bad if she wasn’t around for me.”

“Did she say this or are you saying it for her?” Rachel’s eyebrow raises. 

“She said she really wanted us to work out.”

“Okay,” Rachel nods and she turns her head to the ceiling again.

Lance does the same, yawns and covers his mouth when he feels his ears pop. He really wants to sleep more, isn’t sure how many hours of rest he got because he doesn’t even remember falling asleep. 

“Are you going to try to get her back one day?” Rachel asks quietly, her fingers drumming against her stomach. 

“I don’t know,” Lance mumbles, closes his eyes and thinks about Keith and Mr. Black Lion and whether or not love has ever been for him. “Maybe.”

“Well, it’s your decision,” Rachel sits up and hops off the bed, shrugs one shoulder as she looks back at him. “But right now you have to get up for breakfast before mami comes in here and drags you out by the ear. No le importa si eres un hero or whatever.”

“Got it got it,” Lance whines, gets up once she’s closed the door behind her and walks to his closet to grab some sweats and a hoodie.

When he finally makes it to the table everyone is seated already, have plates full of food in front of them and are talking in small groups together. Lance pulls his chair next to Rachel back and drops down. His mama next to him gently strokes his hair, smooths down some of his curls and pats his cheek before she’s calling everyone’s attention and tells them they can eat. 

“Come mucho, Leo,” she tells him, hands him a fork and the sour cream container that has salsa inside. “You got all skinny while in space.”

“He was always a stick,” Luis snorts, lifts an arm to show off his muscles and Lance rolls his eyes, laughs when everyone else at the table laughs too.

Teasing interactions like these with his family always feel playful, he doesn’t feel like he’s being made fun but rather just playfully nipped at by his siblings before he shoots back some witty comeback. He doesn’t have one right now, though, doesn’t want to talk because he’s sure they’ll hear the scratchy voice and immediately know something is wrong. Rachel doesn’t let him down, though. 

“Psh,” she says, leans over and waves her fork around and Veronica leans back and watches it with wide eyes. “Says the guy who only worked out his arms for a year straight and finally noticed his legs were all skinny, coming in screaming all like mama help meeee.” 

The table bursts into laughter and Sylvio and Nadia shriek in between giggles shouting _Daddy did what?!_ Lance turns to look at them and grins when he sees them slapping their little table with their hands, nearly tearing up with laughter and he’s not even sure if they get it. 

“He got the dorito body he wanted, pero like, all over,” Marco snorts and Lance turns back, can’t wipe off the grin from his mouth. 

His papa gets them to settle down and the laughter dies down slowly, Luis returns to a normal color and is muttering about how they’re always coddling the baby of the family and Lance sticks his tongue out at him, pulls down the bottom lid of one eye and his mama slaps his hand to get him to stop. 

“You know better than to stretch your skin like that, Leo,” she scolds him and Lance stabs one of the potato pieces with his fork with a nod.

“I’m only the baby by like five minutes,” Lance rolls his eyes and all four of his siblings turn to him with unimpressed expressions. 

“Like you don’t use that as an excuse whenever you wanna get out of trouble,” Veronica rolls her eyes. 

“Ya dejen a mi hermanito,” Rachel scolds them and she wraps her arm tight around Lance’s shoulders, pulls him in and kisses his cheek with a loud smack and Lance wrinkles his nose with a snort. “Don’t listen to them, baby bro. You do whatever you want.” 

When their chatter dies down Lance slumps slightly in his seat. He’s not hungry, his stomach keeps swooping uncomfortably and his chest heaves with deep breaths when he feels like there’s still sobs trapped inside it. He hopes his mama won’t notice that he’s just shifting the food around and Rachel snatches bites from his plate from time to time to help but it’s not enough. Usually his appetite can’t be contained but right now all he really wants to do is go back to bed.

He turns when he feels someone tugging at his sleeve and finds Nadia leaning up on the tips of her toes next to his chair, her hands bracing themselves on his arm. 

“What’s up?” he asks her with a smile, tilting his head. 

“When will the princess come again?” Nadia asks with wide eyes and a hopeful smile and Lance can feel his smile faltering, glances away for a second and shakes his head. 

“I’m not sure,” he says, sits up and turns to look at his family around the table again. Their eyes are on him, curious, and only Rachel looks at him knowingly. He looks back to Nadia with a sigh. “I’m sure you can see her if you visit the Atlas but I don’t think she’ll be coming by here anymore.”

“How come?” Nadia asks, her bottom lip jutted out into a pout.

“Well,” Lance starts, rubs at his eye and clears his throat when tears prickle at him again. “She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”

“Oh,” Nadia says quietly, squeezes his arm before she turns away back to her table with Sylvio.

Lance hears a few forks set down and he sighs, turns in his chair again and leans back into it with his lips pursed, eyes downturned. 

“You’re too good for her anyway,” Marco says first after an awkward silence.

“Only few can handle a McClain,” Lisa says next and he hears Luis snort.

“You were brave,” he tells him and Lance looks over, the shape of his brother blurry because the tears are building up but he nods, remembers his words from so long ago. 

“You’re way out of her league,” Veronica tells him, leans around Rachel to pinch his cheek and Lance grins, lets out a watery laugh before his mama and papa are wrapping him up in a tight hug, Rachel’s hand slips into his and she squeezes once before she’s letting go. 

When he’s back in his room with different snacks from his entire family he collapses back on the bed, pulls the blankets over his head again and sniffles a few times. He reaches for his phone and scrolls through it quickly, ignores the apologies from Hunk and Pidge and stops when he sees a text message from Keith. It’s a picture of Kosmo rolling in a field of flowers, tongue hanging out. He laughs quietly at the picture and saves it before he’s shooting back Keith a text calling Kosmo the cutest space wolf ever.

**_Kosmo isn’t cute. He’s badass._ **

Lance rolls his eyes at the reply, quickly typing after _no man, he’s cute and you’re just in denial because you think everything about you has to be hardcore._ If Keith wanted to look hard maybe he should try not having such beautiful eyes and luscious hair. 

**_You’ve made some points._ **

He’s about to send an obnoxious reply when the typing bubble shows up, he watches it for a few seconds, biting his lip as he waits anxiously for what Keith is going to say next. 

**_What are you up to today?_ **

_Some crying, eating junk, wondering when it will all end_ he attaches a photo of the snacks on his bed and Keith starts typing right away again. 

**_Fun._ **

**_Want to go swimming instead?_ **

Lance grins, sits up and throws the blankets away as he types back his reply _hell yeah._

He digs through his closet quickly and pulls on his swim trunks, grabs a towel and shoves it into his backpack along with the snacks on his bed, sunblock and two pairs of sunglasses in case Keith doesn’t have any. He hums quietly to himself as he double checks his mental list for swimming essentials and walks over to his window so he can watch the driveway for Keith.

He waits about ten minutes of flipping through his photo albums before he hears Keith arrive and park one of the bikes he had in his front yard. Lance grins when Keith looks up, shades his eyes from the sun, and waves at Lance with a smile. Lance motions for Keith to wait before he’s slipping into his flip flops and running down the stairs, he shouts a quick _be back later_ to his parents before he slams the door shut behind him. 

Keith hands Lance a helmet and he tugs it on with expertise learned from their Voltron helmets. He half expects for screens to turn on behind the visor but nothing does. Keith mounts the bike again and motions for Lance to get on behind him. He does so naturally, pulls an arm around Keith to steady himself and says, “So where are we swimming? A pool?”

“No, I found a cooler place while patrolling with Black,” Keith says, pulls on his helmet and turns the ignition again. “Hold on tight, please. Your skinny ass might fly off if you don’t.”

“Hey!” Lance shouts, feels offended for only a second before he’s laughing and wrapping both of his arms around Keith’s waist, locking his hand on one wrist to make sure his hold doesn’t break.

When Keith takes off the breeze picks up immediately, makes Lance feel cool despite the heat. He looks over Keith’s shoulder and watches the desert as it slowly starts to shift, sand turns into dirt, toasty heat covered by hanging trees and wildflowers. The Galra had really tried their best to destroy Earth but Lance was pleased that places like these still existed, that they still had a chance to restore their world. He could even help it happen. 

He and Keith don’t talk but Lance can feel the rise and fall of his back against his chest as Keith breathes, the tension in his torso when they turn, the tilt of his head as he looks around before crossing through what used to be streets. 

They come to a stop eventually, both of them putting down their feet to steady the bike before Lance is climbing off. Keith kicks the stand into place and climbs off as well, pulling off the helmet and ruffling the back of his hair. There’s a flush on his cheeks that Lance thinks might be from the wind, and he doesn’t look at Lance until he’s done locking up both helmets. When he finally does he looks cautious for a second before he’s stepping forward, giving Lance a quick one armed hug before he’s grabbing Lance’s wrist and dragging him along into the woods.

“What was that?” Lance asks, there’s a bit of a chuckle trying to escape but he doesn’t want to make Keith feel weird because they’re friends now. He hugs Hunk all the time.

“What?” Keith asks, drops Lance’s wrist as he pushes at some branches to go through, holding them steady so they won’t hit Lance in the face as he follows.

“The hug, dude,” Lance snorts, walks past Keith and tilts his head when he can hear water flowing. “You can give me a normal hug, you know? A _real_ one. I don’t mind.”

“I know,” Keith says and he sounds defensive.

Lance is sure if he turned around now he would find Keith with his arms crossed over his chest, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. _Classic Keith_ , he thinks. 

“We’re almost there,” Keith sAtala suddenly, catches up to Lance and both of them walk through the trees at the same time. 

Lance has to admit to himself that the view is breathtaking. He can’t help grinning when he spots the small waterfall that barely makes a quiet babbling sound. The lake it drops into it is large enough that Lance can tell they can race back and forth, which they probably will at some point if Lance knows them. If he strains his ears enough he can hear birds chirping, the rustling of the leaves with the breeze, stretches his hand forward and curls his fingers in the light that cuts through the thick canopy. He hears rustling from Keith on his side and turns to find him pulling his shirt over his head. Lance shrugs once and pulls his off as well, dropping his backpack and leaning down to grab his sunblock. He sits carefully on a large stone, stretching out his legs and squeezing sunblock on each. 

“You just carry that with you?” Keith asks next to him, eyes Lance as Lance smooths the cream into his skin.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna burn,” Lance snorts. “Do you need some?”

There’s a pause and Lance looks over at Keith to find him with his arms stretched, moving them slowly from side to side as he inspects his skin thoughtfully. 

“I did burn easy in the desert sometimes,” he mumbles before he’s nodding and sitting next to Lance, offering his open palm and Lance squeezes some into it. 

“If you do my back I’ll do yours,” Lance tells him with a grin and Keith answers with a small smile and a nod.

Lance definitely didn’t think this through because Keith is suddenly sitting in front of him with his back curved slightly forward. He reached back to grab his hair, hold it out of the way and Lance had immediately slightly shut off his brain. He stares at that patch of skin suddenly revealed that he doesn’t remember if he’s ever seen, stares at the slight outline of Keith’s spine and licks his lips once because suddenly he feels parched.

Keith tilts his head when Lance takes too long, glances back and Lance hastily makes as if he’s tapping on the bottle to get the sunscreen down. He squeezes enough in his palm and rubs his hands together before he’s carefully smoothing it over Keith’s back until its no longer chalky white. He ignores the softness he finds when he expected Keith to be all hard muscles, doesn’t look at the collection of scars from whatever fights and explosions they had been in too closely. He feels self-conscious at the fact that all Keith has are a few raised scratches, is sure the giant jagged scar in his own back from the explosion he protected Coran from is ugly and might disgust Keith a bit.

His skin always turns a few shades darker when he scars, a huge contrast to Keith’s soft pink and white. When he’s done he claps his hands together once and swallows back the nerves as Keith drops his hair back again over his neck, turns to Lance and snatches the bottle. It’s a bit methodical, how he just walks around to stand behind Lance, places his hands on his back carefully and smooths down the cool cream on his skin until it’s warm. Lance can feel his hands hesitate as they reach the giant star shape scar on his lower back but it’s only for a moment before he’s pressing down firmly.

“Is that from…” Keith starts when he moves next to Lance again, isn’t looking at him but rather ahead. 

“Yeah,” Lance snorts, nods his head a few times. 

“Battle scars are cool,” Keith tells him and finally turns to look at Lance with a grin. 

“Pfft,” Lance snorts, shakes his head and shoves lightly at Keith’s shoulder before he’s running to the lake. “Last one in doesn’t love Kosmo!” 

“Hey!” 

Lance expects the water to be icy cold but instead it’s cool and feels great after they’ve been basking in the sunlight for those few minutes. He looks around with his eyes wide open and spots some fishes before he’s pushing himself upward and through the surface with a joyous shout. He splashes the water upward and then looks around for Keith, finds him shaking his head back and forth, the water splashing from the tips of his hair. He’s smiling too, teeth showing as he lifts his head and looks at Lance.

“Take it back,” Keith says, crosses his arms but Lance can tell he’s having a hard time wiping the smile off his face. 

“No way,” Lance snorts. “You might as well just hand over the space wolf. Kosmo deserves a loving home.”

Keith’s answer is to splash water in his face, making Lance sputter and wipe at it quickly to remove the sudden blurriness from his vision. They glare at each other for a moment before they’re both shoving at the surface of the water as hard as they can, slapping their hands down on it and practically drowning one another with large splashes. Eventually they start laughing, Lance can hear himself practically cackling but he can’t hold it back. He hears Keith snort and gasp in breathlessly and the water comes to a stop, settles down slowly.

“Alright,” Keith clears his throat, pushes back his wet bangs and Lance looks away to the side with an inward groan because he can’t be checking out Keith so soon after his breakup with Allura. 

Though, is there any harm in just admiring? He wonders to himself, scratches at the bridge of his nose.

“This brings back memories,” he says suddenly, trying to stop his current train of thought. “I think our entire family has a soft spot for… bodies of water.”

“Shiro took me to a public pool once,” Keith comments with a hum and he’s swimming back and forth lazily on his back, his backstroke nearly perfect. “Adam refused to touch the water so he just watched us from under an umbrella and made us sandwiches. That was… kind of the closest thing I had ever had to a family outing.”

The comment makes a pang go through Lance’s heart. He finds himself smiling though because Keith has a happy grin on his face, comes to a float slowly on his back and Lance does the same. He drags his fingertips lightly over the surface of the water, tilts his head so he can still hear Keith if he wants to say more. 

“Maybe you could all do something together with your mom this time,” Lance hums softly.

“I don’t know,” Keith says and they float past each other, turn their heads and Lance only sees Keith’s face briefly before he’s looking at his arm and side instead, turns his head back to the sky again. “I can’t really tell what Krolia’s style is yet. Even after spending an entire… two years with her. There’s still a lot to learn.”

Lance maneuvers himself slowly to the side when he can feel the waters depth getting shorter, starts floating back to the middle of the lake. 

“I know maybe it’s too soon to ask but,” Keith starts, his voice sounds far away, muffled. “Are you feeling a bit better?”

 _I am now_ , Lance thinks, because he is. He’s feeling a little bit better now that he has something to do, that he has Keith with him to do it with, that he knows now he’s not just going to wallow nonstop. He’s relieved he can find laughter in himself despite it being a blow. He’s not over it, he can’t get over years of cultivating his feelings and letting them grow. That can’t go away overnight, can’t go away because he’s hanging out with Keith. But it’s smaller now and he has a feeling moments like this will chip away at that hardened part of himself until it’s gone. 

“Just a bit,” Lance says with a smile. 

He doesn’t need to talk when he’s with Keith even though it’s very hard for him to keep his mouth shut. He finds the silence comfortable instead, listens to the babbling of the small stream, the birds still chirping, the rustling of the trees, Keith’s breathing and quiet hums whenever they pass by each other.

They come to a stop with their heads next to each other. Lance can see Keith from the corner of his eye, mostly his lips and nose and maybe that’s what makes him feel brave enough to say what he says next, what’s been lingering in the back of his mind. 

“I’m thinking about giving up Red,” he says, turns his head back to the sky.

He expected some outrage from Keith at worst and confusion from him at best so he’s shocked when instead he hears Keith snort.

“Good luck with that,” he sounds amused and it makes Lance frown, his eyebrows pull together and he purses his lips tightly as they twist to the side.

“What does that mean?” he asks and he knows he sounds offended and maybe even a little outraged because this is serious. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Keith says quickly and Lance watches him shake his head before he sighs. “It’s just… I don’t think that’s how it works. The lions. I’ve tried it before with Black and I didn’t shake him off until I started to prioritize Blade missions.”

“Oh,” Lance widens his eyes, purses his lips together.

“We don’t really know much about the bonds we share with them,” Keith continues and he stands suddenly, Lance follows him and feels the water drip down his neck. “I just don’t know if it’s something we can break off by ourselves. I think both parties need to want it. Does Red?”

Lance already knows Red wouldn’t want them to stop being a team. He knows Red is stubborn and holds on tight to whoever his paladin is and the only reason he gave up Keith was because he was forced to. 

“I don’t know,” Lance shakes his head. “But I’m going to try.” 

“Why do you want to leave?” Keith asks, his lips downturned. “I really can’t imagine anyone else as my right hand. It would suck if you did go.” 

Lance hadn’t thought about that. How giving up Red would mean a new paladin, a new team structure he wasn’t a part of, a division on the new bond he shared with Keith and the rest as their rankings changed again. Rankings that left Lance in the dust, an outsider. He didn’t even have another robot to take control over like Shiro and the Atlas crew did. 

“I just…” Lance shrugs when he’s unable to finish his thought.

“Well… even if it would suck to lose you, I’m still behind you, I’ll be there for you,” Keith tells him, flicks some water at Lance playfully. “No matter what you decide.” 

“Thanks man,” Lance snorts.

When they finally climb out of the water they sit on top of the towels Lance brought to dry off, share the snacks Lance brought between them and sit in silence that’s comfortable. Lance will randomly tell Keith a joke or Keith will share some story about what happened while he was on the space whale. They sit with their legs crossed under them and facing each other.

“Did you invite any of the others to swim too?” Lance asks while they pack up everything into his backpack again.

“No,” Keith says quietly, shakes his head as he holds the backpack flat so Lance can zip it up.

“How come?” Lance and and part of him feels flattered that this was something only he had seen and that he was the only one Keith wanted to show this to.

“I don’t know,” Keith answers with a shrug and a smile before he’s frowning. “Well. No. I do know, I just wanted to hang out with you. I don’t think we ever did that without fighting while in space. And the first time we went to a pool it didn’t go very well, did it?”

Lance laughs at the memory, nods his head and pulls his shirt back over his head while they walk back to the hover bike.

“You’re right,” he says as he climbs in behind Keith, moves his arms around Keith’s waist with more ease, the nerves and jitters of his crush still there but subdued.

 

 

 

When Lance gets home he kisses his mom on the cheek, hums softly to himself as he snatches a water bottle and one of the empanadas she made. He sits down in the living room with Sylvio and Nadia, watches some movie with them about a bee, tries hard not to crack jokes they wouldn’t understand, and after he runs upstairs to take a shower and change into something other that his dried and stiff swimming clothes.

When he’s finally sitting down on his desk he pulls over one of his old notebooks, flips through the pages until he finds a blank one and grabs one of his gel pens from a pencil cup. He slowly draws up a table, following the dotted guides carefully and he’s a little bit impressed that this is still easy to him, that he still remembers exactly how to create a perfectly balanced table. He had started his bullet journaling as a study habit tracker, wanted to make sure he was making the most of his time. And maybe he’s ruining this once pristine book from a few years ago but he needs to plan things out. 

He titles the page “Pros and Cons of Giving Up Red.” 

The words leave him feeling a little bit lonely. Red is away right now, isn’t poking around Lance’s mind like he usually does even though he totally could. Still, the thought of not having Red around constantly, making him feel not as lonely as he usually does makes Lance hesitate. He writes carefully on the first line of his cons side _I’ll be lonely_ . _I won’t be able to pilot him anymore. I won’t have a cool lion to take me to different planets for vacation. I won’t be able to help people if they are ever in need._ The cons list grows and grows and grows and he can’t think of a single pro except that he’s just tired. He’s tired of fighting for a universe that always seems to take and take from him and never gives. He’s tired of being seen as a weak link by everyone even if they don’t say it with Keith being the exception to the rule. He’s tired of feeling the burden of a cosmic responsibility on his back and it’s stupid to feel that way because going to space had been all he had dreamed of at some point. He’s tired. He’s tired and all he wants to do is be with his family, heal, makeup for all those years he lost with them. He’s tired and he doesn’t want his mama to ever feel like she has to clutch him as tightly as she did the first day he was back, doesn’t want to see tears drag down her pretty and warm and brown skin in a way that makes Lance’s chest ache.

He’s tired and now his family should come first. 

When he closes the notebook, even though the list of cons is longer than his list of pros his mind is still made up. He turns off his desk lamp, drags his feet to his bed and lays down with a soft huff, hugs one of the pillows to his chest and shuts his eyes tightly as he takes a few deep breaths.

“One last adventure,” he mumbles to himself. “Just one more.”

 

The next morning once he’s awake he curls his fingers back into his pillow, licks over his lips slowly before he’s climbing to his feet. He had dreams of Allura, of the time they spent together, of meeting her for the first time, of what her face looked like when she broke things off. There’s a heavy feeling of discontent hanging in Lance’s chest, makes him feel hollow as he stares at his phone and wonders if he should text her and tell her that he hopes she’s doing okay. He doesn’t even know what her plans were. If she was leaving to find a new planet for Altea, what her progress had been like with the people they had saved.

When he’s reaching for the phone he stops himself, rubs his eyes to push away the prickling in them of tears, takes a few deep breaths before he’s walking to his closet and picking out a pair of shorts and shirt. When he’s ready he carefully tries to shove away every thought about leaving Red, doesn’t want to make their last day a sad one. Once he’s sure he’s hidden his intentions he reaches out to Red tentatively and smiles when Red answers right away. _(Yes!)_ Red practically shouts when Lance asks if he wants to go exploring.

When he steps out of the house he sees Sylvio and Nadia out in the yard, shouting excitedly as they run around Red. Lance had never imagined a robot could look tender but around his little nephew and niece he oddly did. When Sylvio and Nadia rounded to the front of the lion again they spotted Lance and ran over, screaming in delight when Red’s eyes flashed slightly as his head lowered, mouth opening for Lance to go inside. 

 _(Ride for tiny humans?)_ Red asks him and Lance grins, nodding and grabbing their hands as he pulls them along. “Come on, kids! Let’s go take a lap.”

“Yes!” Sylvio shouts, running ahead and Nadia follows him quickly. “I call shotgun!” _(Weapons dangerous)_ Red rumbles with deep disapproval and Lance snorts as he walks into the pilot room he can already see Sylvio and Nadia trying to shove each other off the seat. He pulls back the seat and pulls them out of it one by one. 

“I have to sit or else Red won’t fly,” Lance tells them. It’s a lie, of course but it gets them to stop fighting. They each sit on one of Lance’s legs once he’s settled in and Red pulls the seat forward until the controls are within easy reach of his hands. They giggle as they feel Red stand upright again, holds on tight to Lance’s forearms as he whispers, “Ready?”

Red is fast. Has always been, he takes off with a leap, pushes faster when Lance and the kids urge him to, shows off how fluid he can actually be as he spins around in midair and Lance thinks Red’s laughing as the kids scream for their lives. It makes Lance laugh too, launches him into a fit of giggles that makes way into an elated whoop as he moves his hands away from the controllers to hold on tighter to the kids, his arms going around them as Red beams them up into space and finally comes into a slow glide. 

“Woah,” Nadia says quietly, hopping away from Lance immediately to run to the wide window glass, her hands pressing against it as she leans forward and stares into the vast space. Sylvio jumps off a moment later, dazed as he stands next to Nadia and stares out at the view with her. Red turns slowly and Earth comes into view. 

It’s not as beautiful as it used to be. The mark of the Galra’s destruction is there but Lance is relieved to find that there are still large spaces of green and blue. Land that can be salvaged, healed. He wonders if he could make that happen, if he could help with that effort and Red hums in approval in his mind. 

“She’s still pretty,” Nadia says quietly, echoing Lance’s thoughts.

“Can we see Uranus?” Sylvio asks and the silence breaks as the joke lands and Nadia and Lance start to snicker. 

“How do you even know jokes like those aren’t you like six?” Lance asks as he pulls the controllers close again and starts into a path towards Mars. 

“We’re ten now… but I heard that on a video and tio Marco explained it to us,” Sylvio tells him, sticks out his tongue and Lance bites his lip, that sting of missing out on so much from his family coming to bite him in the ass again.

“So old,” he tells them and they blow raspberries at him.

When they drive past Saturn Red gets close enough for them to see what the rings are made of but not enough that they will end up barreling into space until they find control again. And finally they reach Uranus. 

“Looks like a perfect ice cream scoop,” Sylvio says, presses into the windows until his nose is scrunched up and his next words come out muffled. “And it has rings too!”

“Does all of space look like this?” Nadia asks Lance, tilts her head away from the view to look at him. 

He hums softly and nods. “Sometimes it’s just… a lot of empty space but a lot of the time we got to see some really beautiful planets. It’s different outside of the galaxy though. The planets there actually have a lot of life and they all have different colors and plants and smells. It’s really cool.”

“I want to explore it all one day,” Nadia says and Sylvio nods, agrees with a low whistle.

“You can,” Lance says with a small smile, leans back in his chair and feels a little weird that he’s not wearing his suit but the moment passes when the kids go back to sit on him. He grabs the controllers and turns Red back around, taking every opportunity he has to pilot him.

They both run out of Red’s mouth when they land, start shouting for their mom and dad excitedly and Lance stays in the seat, curls his fingers more protectively around Red’s controls. 

 _(You okay?)_ Red asks him after some time of them flying around Earth, Lance making notes on his phone of the places he sees with more damage. The fact that they go back and forth from sunlight to none as they travel over Asia is a bit confusing and dizzying but Lance only hums softly. He doesn’t want to bring the mood down, doesn’t want to let Red in to find out what’s really plaguing his mind right now. 

“I’m okay,” he says finally, purses his lips and pulls his knees up on the seat to hug his legs, resting his chin against them.

 _(Still sad?)_ Red asks, makes Lance grimace. 

“I’m distracting myself with things, it’s not bad, it’s only been two days,” he mumbles. “Or… three? Not sure if the day of the break up counts.” He lets out a dry laugh, shakes his head.

He doesn’t want to be sad right now, though, doesn’t want to let something like this seep into his last day with Red. He’s decided, really if he thinks about it he’s been decided for a long time. 

 _(Last?)_ Red asks quietly and Lance’s eyes widen. 

He doesn’t have enough time to brace his mind, to close the floodgates that have been opened. Red immediately starts to feel wounded, betrayed, angry, and sad over all. He gets to the recent memories with Keith and grasps onto those words. _(That’s_ not _how it works.)_ Red echoes back and forth in his mind insistently, ignores Lance’s hand on the controllers and flies them back toward the Garrison, they’ve been around the world enough times today for Lance to recognize the path Red is taking. He takes a few deep breaths when they get to his house and Red lands heavily, makes the trees shake and he sees his family scatter around inside the house in a panic before they glance outside and see the lion and immediately relax. 

“You made an earthquake? You don’t have to be that dramatic, you know?” Lance rolls his eyes, grabs the controllers again and forces Red back into the sky.

He flies them to the Garrison and he can feel Red slowly giving up. It makes it easier for Lance but he had kind of hoped it would be hard, that it would be a struggle for Red to let go of him. He wouldn’t be surprised if he shut off midair and kicked Lance out before wrapping himself in a force field. Red doesn’t do any of that though, lets Lance land him with the rest of the lions, puts down his head dutifully to let Lance out.

Lance can’t really call the sudden silence between them _actual_ silence, he thinks he can still feel Red like a high pitched buzz in the back of his mind but he doesn’t turn back as he walks away from the lions. Shoves his hands in the pockets of his shorts and walks the whole way back home. He doesn’t have any thoughts. Doesn’t really feel anything like the first time he lost a lion. He hadn’t even known that Blue wasn’t linked to him anymore until he tried to get to her. Somehow knowing it’s always like that stings a little bit. 

When he gets to his house he glances up at the window of his bedroom, takes a deep breath when he sees its pitch black inside compared to the soft glow of every other window visible. The curtains are drawn tight now, not even shadows visible and he’s sure his family is moving back and forth in the room.

He steps inside and hears the TV, turns to lock the door and wanders around briefly to check where everyone is before he starts heading up the stairs to his room. Something scares him about walking through the door, makes him hesitate as an unsettling feeling starts to settle in his chest again, drags its icy tendrils over his heart and down his eyes. He sniffs once and feels the tears start again, touches the doorknob and pushes the door open. It’s as dark as it had seemed from the outside, as unwelcoming as he had felt it from the moment he lifted his gaze to his window. He crawls into his bed and curls into a small ball, turns his head to bury it against his pillow and muffles those small sobs that pick up again. 

“I can’t be alone,” he whispers, his voice wobbling.

 

He doesn’t leave the house for a few days. Doesn’t leave even to say goodbye to Hunk as he heads out into space to learn from a chef in Sector 1286. He texts him a good luck and Hunk replies back with three different texts that say he’ll miss Lance, that he still feels bad and hopes they can talk soon. He doesn’t leave when he hears about the ceremony Shiro has to become an official Admiral. Doesn’t leave when he hears Pidge is throwing an engagement party for Matt and his girlfriend even though he loves parties and even more when they’re about love.

**I’m goin back into space soon for a little while.**

That makes Lance sit up in his bed. 

**If we could hang out before I leave… well, I would really like that.**

_Okay. When?_

**I leave Friday. Are you free tomorrow?**

_Can you come over? I don’t really feel like going out._

**Of course.**

They make plans for Keith to come tomorrow afternoon with enough leg room for breakfast to be over and for his family to scatter off to their own activities for the day. He drags himself out of bed that morning to shower and exfoliate his skin twice because he can still feel the grime on his skin even after sitting under the hot water until it runs out. He doesn’t bother trying to tame his hair, lets it curl whichever way it wants and pulls on a fresh set of clothes, shoves the dirty ones as far as he can to the bottom of his hamper and makes a note to do his laundry when Keith is gone. He might have enough energy then to actually do something.

When the doorbell rings Lance isn’t quick enough and his mama answers. She’s already pulling at Keith’s hair and telling him to get a haircut, brushing down his arms and jacket. Keith is a good sport, smiling at her and nodding. He promises to give his hair a trim and Lance wants to call him out and say he’s a liar but he doesn’t. He hops down the final step, grabs his mama’s hand and pulls it away from Keith with an apologetic smile. 

“Mama, come on, don’t crowd Keith like that,” Lance huffs, accepts her pinch to his cheek and quiet muttering of him getting skinnier than he already was. 

Keith grins and scratches at his own cheek like he felt that too.

“Are you hungry?” Lance’s mama asks, crossing her arms.

“No…” Keith shakes his head slowly, hesitates and then he clears his throat. “Well… yes, I woke up late and skipped breakfast.”

Lance sighs when he hears the words, doesn’t even bother looking surprised as he follows after his mama and Keith while she drags him into their dinning room. She sits Keith down in the middle and Lance takes a seat next to him, rests his cheek on his palm as he stares at Keith with narrowed eyes and ignores the clattering of utensils and bowls in the kitchen.

“What?” Keith asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Do you have a weak stomach?” Lance asks, face straight.

“No,” Keith snorts.

“Are you sure? If you’re not used to this type of cousine you might have a really uncomfortable trip to whenever you’re going,” Lance says all of this teasingly but when the words come out he realizes that Keith is leaving. He’s only spent a few days out of the months they’ve been back on Earth getting things in order with Keith. And most of those days had been spent dragging supplies back and forth in the lions, barely talking. 

“Is that a challenge?” Keith asks instead, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back on the chair. 

“Not everything is with us,” Lance snorts, scoots back when his mama comes out of the kitchen and sets down a bowl of steaming ropa vieja. She places a smaller bowl of it in front of Lance with a spoon and a jug of lemonade and two glass cups with ice. 

“This looks amazing,” Keith says and when Lance glances at him his eyes are wide. “Kind of looks like a hot pot. Is it spicy?” Keith asks as he digs out one of the red peppers from it.

“No,” Lance shakes his head, grabs his spoon and digs in too as his mama pours lemonade in their cups.

They eat in silence for a while, Keith blows softly at the spoonfuls he grabs, pops the entire thing in his mouth and pulls it out slowly with a hum. It’s different from how they used to devour everything within sight when they actually got some good food in space. He takes his time, savors it, and Lance finishes before him, grabs a piece of bread from the table to take small bites and finally he asks.

“How long will you be gone for?” 

“I’m not sure,” Keith says, eyebrows pulling together. “There’s… a lot of things we need to fix up.”

“Where?” Lance asks, pursing his lips together. 

“We aren’t sure where we’re starting yet but... Probably to one of the many places the Galra have taken over,” Keith sighs, shakes his head as he takes a sip of his lemonade. “I’m… not really looking forward to it. I get a feeling they’re going to be looking for someone new to lead them and that’s going to be a mess if they want to do the Kral Zera ceremony again.”

“Aren’t you still technically with the Blade?” Lance asks, shakes his head.

“Technically,” Keith concedes with a nod, something flashing in his gaze before it’s gone again. “I’ll try to visit Earth whenever there’s a chance.”

Lance wants to say _I’ll miss you_ but he can’t really bring himself to do it. He nods instead, stacks their bowls together when Keith is done and takes them to the kitchen, all the while he humming softly to himself. He’s trying to drown out the chanting in his head that keeps saying _don’t go don’t go don’t go_ because Keith is the only thing right now that helps him focus on something else than being sad again. Even when he knows he has all the reasons to be sad right now without anyone giving him a hard time about it.

When he comes back Keith is walking around, staring at the pictures on the walls with a small smile, his eyebrow raised and he pokes at the picture frame whenever he spots Lance. It makes Lance snort and Keith turns to him, scrunches his face and sticks his tongue out. 

“Wanna play some games?” Lance asks, shrugs one shoulder and motions for Keith to follow him without waiting for a response.

He would probably have turned on their video game console if he thought it wouldn’t get them to argue nonstop as they try to one up each other. So instead he opts for the chess board, carefully places all the pieces in order on it with Keith’s help and when they finish they both turn their gaze to each other. There’s a glint of a challenge in Keith’s eyes, makes Lance grin as he makes the first move. 

“Maybe we should lay down some friendship rules,” Lance says as Keith moves his own piece on the board, cheek resting against one of his knees. 

“There’s rules to friendship?” Keith asks, sounds amused. 

“Not usually but these are special circumstances, I think,” Lance answers, tone completely polite as he bites his lip, really studies the board because he didn’t even bother asking Keith if he knows how to play. 

“How so?”

“You’re going light years away, dude.”

“Yeah… that’s true. What are you going to do down here?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually,” Lance starts. “I have some ideas, I think I’ll go see Pidge’s mom to get her opinion on it.”

“Why do you need to ask her?”

“She’s an expert with plants right?” Lance asks, knocks off one of Keith’s pieces from the board and swipes it with his hand to keep it on his side of the table. 

“I don’t really know much about her, actually,” Keith replies with a bit of an edge and knocks off one of Lance’s pieces as well, tosses it over his shoulder and lifts his unamused gaze to him. “What are you planning to do with plants?”

“I want to help restore Earth,” Lance says finally after a long silence. “Plant flowers, help grass grow, crops, cattle.”

“You’re pretty great with Kaltenecker,” Keith mumbles and the scrunch of his eyebrows is gone as he grins instead. “Are you sure though?” 

“Yeah, I mean now that I’m not a paladin anymore it’s only natural to find something else to do, right?” Lance mumbles, scratching at his chin as he stares at the board between them. 

“Not a paladin?” Keith asks and he sounds amused, like he knows something Lance doesn’t, but he shrugs it off as he moves another piece on the board. 

“Yeah I dropped Red off yesterday,” Lance rolls his eyes. 

“Oh,” and now he definitely sounds amused, a chuckle escaping. “Of course. Pretty sure I saw him there this morning. Well, I think that’s a noble cause. The restoration of a planet can’t be easy. Where will you start?”

“My backyard,” Lance huffs. “One of the old community gardens around here after. And then I’ll figure it out. I can do it.”

“Yeah, your backyard might need some help,” Keith hums and when Lance lifts his gaze to glare at Keith he finds him grinning as he leans on one of his hands, the other sliding lazily a piece across.

“Hey,” Lance complains quietly. “Next time you see it it's going to be a paradise full of roses and beautiful flowers.”

“Alright,” Keith shrugs, sounds nonchalant and Lance doesn’t get mad because he spots the small smile. “Let's loop back, though. What exactly are these rules you’re trying to set on us.”

“Right,” Lance leans forward, ignores the board in between them and leans his elbows on the table. “First rule, we need to talk on the phone at least once a week.”

“At least,” Keith agrees with a nod.

“Whenever something funny is happening we take pictures and send them to each other.”

“Of course.”

“If I can visit you in space or if you can visit me we have to do it no matter what.”

“Agreed.”

“And… no matter what,” Lance takes a deep breath, leans back again so he’s sitting on the floor once more. “If we need each other, we’ll do our best to be there right away. Of course if you’re doing something dangerous then don’t worry about it too much, but you know… be safe and stuff.”

“Promise,” Keith says and Lance looks up to see Keith’s little finger held out, his head tilted with a grin. 

Lance swallows once and reaches up with his own hand, hooks his little finger to Keith’s and they shake on it once before Keith glances down at the board and Lance hears one of his pieces knocking over. “Check mate.” 

“You’re the worst,” Lance tells him, sticks out his tongue.

 

“So what were you doing during all of that time?” Lance asks, they’re laying down next to each other, a bowl of popcorn between them, they both keep picking up fistfuls one at a time, the TV playing some cartoon on loop in the background.

“What time?” Keith asks, tosses a kernel into the air and catches it in his mouth, turns his head to look at Lance as he chews, one eyebrow raised.

“All that time you spent in the desert,” Lance says, sticks another piece of popcorn in his mouth.

“Oh.”

Silence envelops them. At least as much silence as they can have when Sylvio and Nadia are outside chasing each other around and giggling, his mama’s clattering of pots and occasional stirring with a wooden spoon. Lance thinks he messed up but he can’t say _forget it, it’s not important_ or something like that because he wants to know. He really _really_ wants to know. He feels like he needs to know, to understand Keith more than he think he does.

“At first not much,” Keith says suddenly, the chattering cartoon characters laughing in the background. “I cried a lot about Shiro. I didn’t believe he was dead but sometimes… I convinced myself maybe he was dead and I had just ruined everything he had done for me. The opportunities he had facilitated for me at the Garrison. When I wasn’t having a moment like that I was trying to make plans, researching how to make a ship, wondering if I could somehow sneak into one that the Garrison would launch. And then… I started to feel that presence from Blue. 

“I’m not really sure what compelled me to start searching the area but at least it was something to do. I would get up every morning before dawn, filled up a few water bottles and went out searching. I’d come back every night, wash up as best I could, and go to sleep.”

“You were pretty stinky when we found you again,” Lance teases him.

“Yeah, I bet I was,” Keith snorts. “When I found the cave with the carvings I could feel I was close. So close to figuring all of it out. You were… ugh, don’t get a big head from this but, you were kind of a blessing.”

“Of course I was,” Lance says, grins as he turns to look at Keith. “I changed your life.”

It’s supposed to be a joke. Keith is supposed to laugh but instead he stares at Lance, looks over his face and Lance watches his eyes. Silence stretching between them again for a long time. Too long.

“Yeah, you did,” Keith tells him finally, looks away, tosses another piece of popcorn in the air. “You changed my life.”

 _You’ve changed mine too_ , Lance thinks.

“I always pictured you roughing it out in the desert, fighting coyotes or whatever,” Lance says, picking up their conversation again. “Finding ghost towns and having showdowns with villains.”

“I never said I didn’t do that,” Keith laughs, sits up and turns to the television. “I’m a whole cowboy, you know?”

“Lance,” his mama yells from the other room. “Is Keith staying for dinner?”

“Are you?” Lance asks. 

“Sure.”

 

“Y’all gonna make me sit on the kids table again, aren’t you?” Rachel asks, crossing her arms over her chest as she glares pointedly at Lance and Keith who are setting both tables.

“Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?” Lance asks and Keith grins.

“How about we sit you with the kids instead?” Rachel practically yells, making Keith drop one of the forks and turn with the knife in his hand to face her. “Oh, great. Now you’re gonna make your friend stab me?”

“Wait, no,” Keith starts but Lance throws a napkin at her face, grinning when she sputters before stomping away.

“Don’t stab Rachel, Keith,” Lance says, picking up the fork Keith dropped to set it next to a plate.

“I wasn’t…” Keith shakes his head. “I’m confused. You guys are a handful. With Shiro all I have to worry about is making sure I don’t have a sticky note on my back that says ‘I forget to eat breakfast.’”

“Really? You gotta work on your pranks,” Lance snorts, shoving Keith playfully on his way next to him.

“Who we pullin a prank on?” Marco asks, slipping into the room, pulling back a chair to sit down. He leans over it on his elbows, look back and forth between Keith and Lance and narrows his eyes.

Lance is trying to think fast then, doesn’t want to lose control of the situation and end up in the backyard with no underwear thanks to one of Marco’s classic ideas. 

“Veronica,” Lance says immediately. Yeah, Veronica can take it. She’ll probably turn it around on him and Marco will be the one doing cartwheels in a Shrek costume in the plaza. 

“Cool,” Marco continues and leans over to look at Keith. “So what’s up with you? Not bullying Lance anymore?”

“Marco, shut up,” Lance says immediately, throwing a napkin in his direction.

“Bullying?” Keith asks, has an eyebrow raised and half a smile on his lips. “Not since he stood up to me in the schoolyard.”

“You never told us about that Lance,” Marco grins, lays down his head on the table next to his plate. “You told us about his hair, his angry eyes, the way he ignored you…”

“That’s enough of embarrassing Lance,” his mama comes to the rescue and Lance’s shoulders droop in relief, he glances at Keith quickly and sees he’s wearing a teasing and mischievous smile. If Lance gives him the chance to remember he’ll probably bring it up later.

They stand back from the table as his mama places down a pot with stew and some steaming meat in it. She gives Keith a stack of cups and Lance a bowl with ice. How she even managed to hold all of that by herself on one trip every time still blows Lance away.

They make room for Rachel on the bigger table. Lance sees Keith smile at her from across the table and Rachel’s frown fades away into a roll of her eyes and then a grin as she picks up her fork to stab at the large plate of meat in front of them. It makes Lance scoots his chair just a little bit closer to Keith’s, makes some sort of possessive feeling curl in his gut but only for a second because the next Keith is glancing at him. They’re sharing stories about Lance again, making him the center of attention like they always do when someone Lance cares about is around. Their tone is different this time, though. Yeah they’re telling Keith pretty embarrassing things like about the time he confused tumeric for a face mask with some yellow powder dye Lisa had on hand for some baking.

“His face was a weird yellow for a while after, he looked like he was sick,” Marco snorts next to Keith, nudges him on the shoulder and Keith laughs. “No, he was. We met some doctor in the street and she was like ‘young man, I’m worried you might be experiencing some liver failure’ and Lance had to tell her he wasn’t dying he just put yellow dye on his face by mistake. What was the turmeric even for, dude?”

“I read it helped with dark spots,” Lance mumbles and Keith turns to him with narrowed eyes, studying his face and Lance sits back slightly with wide eyes. The family continues their chatter but Lance can see Veronica and Rachel staring with almost knowing looks. 

“What?” Lance asks finally, shoving Keith back slightly, kicking at his foot under the table. 

“I don’t see any dark spots,” he says quietly, turns away again to look at Luis when he calls Keith’s attention.

“So where are you going?” Luis asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well,” Keith starts, rubs at his arm and looks down at the table. “We’re going to go to as many previously Galra ran planets. Try to get them back on their feet, transition them into their own governments again, make sure they have everything they need to start over. It’s been millennia for some of these planets, some of their ways have been forgotten.” 

“That’s so cool,” Marco says, shakes his head. “Are the rest of the paladins going too? You Lance?”

“Uh,” Lance shakes his head and laughs. “No. I’m not going. I’m thinking about taking on a different project… are the rest of the guys going?” 

“Nope,” Keith sighs, shaking his head. “I guess we’re all… scattering.”

Lance isn’t going to admit it out loud but the fact that the rest of the team… his old team isn’t leaving him behind and making plans together that don’t include him makes him feel a little bit better about his decision. Now he just has to deal with the way his siblings are looking at him, with their eyebrows pinched together. He notices that his mama and papa look relieved. A huge contrast compared to the rest of the table and the eyes on him except for Keith who keeps his lowered to the table, a small sad smile playing on his lips. 

The moment breaks when his mama gets up and brings desert to the table. They don’t always have it, usually just settling for a cup of coffee if it’s not too late but whenever they have special guests his mama busts out the big guns and makes something deliciously sweet. She piles two pastelitos on a plate for Keith and brushes her hand on his cheek which makes him grin before she’s walking off to give everyone else around the table one each. Lance notices Nadia slowly sneaking her fingers around Luis to grab the cake off his plate and he grins, glancing at Keith and their eyes meet for a moment, both of them snickering like it’s a private joke and laughing when Luis glances down and finds his dessert gone. Nadia and Sylvio are long gone by the time he turns around.

 

When Keith is at the door an hour later it’s with an armful of plastic containers, most of them foggy from the steaming food inside them. Keith looks over them with a small pout to his lip that Lance knows Keith doesn’t notice because otherwise he would school his expression into something more neutral. His mama comes back with a tote bag and helps Keith shove all of the containers inside.

“You be safe out there,” she says to Keith, pressing his cheeks together and Keith somehow manages to smile despite the way his lips being shoved together. “Cut that hair and eat more.”

“Okay,” Keith agrees and when Lance’s mama drops her hands from his face he reaches up with his free hand to tug gently at the end of a lock of hair.

“Don’t listen to her,” Lance says with a roll of his eyes, the door closing behind him as he steps forward, down the porch steps and to the gate leading into their house. “She’s just kidding. Your hair is fine. And you eat enough.”

“It’s nice, actually,” Keith says, follows next to Lance and they both stands in front of the gate for a moment before Keith opens it and steps to the other side, closes it behind him and turns to look at Lance. “Feels like she… like she cares. Makes me feel good.”

“Oh, well, in that case I’ll give her your number so she can nag you daily,” Lance grins and leans against the fence, gives Keith a finger-gun with one hand.

It’s quiet after. 

Lance swallows because he wants to say something. 

He wants to tell Keith he’ll miss him. It shouldn’t be so hard to get the words out but for some reason it is. The words die before they can make it to his throat, they don’t even have the chance to get out of his head.

“Don’t forget our rules,” Keith breaks the silence finally and Lance looks up, finds him already staring at him. “We have to call each other at _least_ once a week.”

“At least,” Lance agrees with a grin and Keith pushes back from the gate and fence.

“And good luck,” he grins, glances behind Lance at the house but his gaze goes up, an amused grin adorning his beautiful features. 

Lance wants to turn to look but if he does he’ll miss looking at Keith as long as possible before he’s gone. 

“What do you mean?” Lance snorts.

“Nothing… just,” Keith shrugs and the trees around them start to shroud him in a shadow, he can barely see a glint of his teeth and a yellow flash of his eyes. “Just think you might need it.”

After that he’s too far for Lance to see anything but the swing of the white tote bag as Keith walks, the muted sound of a happy whistling tune. Lance sighs, bites his lips and turns around again to face his house, eyes traveling upward slowly and he stumbles slightly on his step as he finally sees what had Keith so amused.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lance mutters as he sees Red’s force field glowing a soft blue, standing behind his house in what looks to be a proud way, eyes missing their yellow glow. “What are you doing here?”

( _I’m staying with my Paladin_ ) Red says and the words leave no room for argument. Lance can’t even bring himself to open his mouth and shoo Red away as if he were just a stray squirrel wandering too close or something. He huffs and lifts a finger to say something but he can’t think of anything. The words had been spoken with too much loyalty, with too much resolve. 

“Fine!” he shouts and he swears he can hear Keith laughing.

( _Fine!_ ) Red parrots back at him in the same tone Lance used and he flinches as he stomps up the steps and pulls the door open sharply. 

He notices the blue glow later out his window, is surprised he missed it all this time because there’s no way Red has only been there today. He’s probably been there since the day Lance dropped him off at the Garrison. It makes him huff as he twists and turns in an attempt to get comfortable. 

 

Allura leaves a month later. The Alteans that were in the Atlas are finally feeling better. The contrast between their droopy shoulders and heaviness at being invaded by something they didn’t understand and the energy they now show off as they sprint everywhere and dance around together, and practically perform acrobatic movements every time they have to climb something is huge. There’s more color in their skin and cheeks, the marks on them looking brighter than before. The texture of their hair healthier and shiny.

Lance watches them from far away as he follows Colleen around with a notebook and a small basket where he’s collecting seeds and flowers and saplings of different trees. She carefully places another barely budding flower on Lance’s basket and Lance makes a quick sketch of it, writes down the information Colleen gives him and shifts his arm when the basket gets that little bit much heavier.

When she finishes her rounds Colleen turns to Lance and crosses her arms across her chest, she looks him up and down and Lance tries hard not to feel judged by the gaze, his eyes flitting to the side when he sees the Altean group once again chasing each other around.

He sees Allura in the mix this time, her white silver hair flowing behind her like a cloud, twisting and turning with every tilt of her head and shake of her body as she laughs. 

“Where will you be planting all of this?” Colleen asks finally and Lance turns his gaze to her. 

“We’re moving to a new place,” Lance says after a second. “We’re setting it up right now, I think we’ll be moved in next week but I’m going to go over today and fix these up.”

“Okay, good,” Colleen nods. “Will you need any assistance?”

“I got it,” Lance smiles, looks away again to Allura and she’s being tossed in the air by two other people, it makes Lance wrinkle his nose but it must be some type of game from their childhood because the group of them are laughing and clapping along. “Do you have any juniberries I could have as well?” 

The question slips before he can stop himself, but Colleen seemed to have been ready for the question. She turns around with a knowing smile and grabs a packet of glowing seeds from her overly organized cabinet file. She drops the packet into Lance’s basket and rattles off a few details on how to take care of juniberries and make sure they actually take to Earth soil. Lance jots down everything she says, nodding along to her instructions for watering them in case they don’t have a steady stream of water from somewhere.

When they’re done Colleen waves at him as she starts to stroll elsewhere, already focused on the next part of her schedule as far as Lance can tell. He sighs and squares his shoulders as he starts to head back to the Atlas so he can hitch a ride with Veronica back home. He tries to give the Altean group a wide berth but Coran notices him and Lance is sure he wasn’t thinking too much of it because he suddenly shouts, “Lance, my boy!”

Silence falls over their entire group and Coran suddenly widens his eyes with slow understanding, his smile apologetic as he waves at Lance. Lance swallows the bit of his pride he stills holds on to and walks across the field to get to where they’re standing. He gives Coran a small smile and accepts the one armed hug, hauling the basket in his arms a bit higher. It’s awkward. It’s all Lance can think as he bites his lips and tries hard not to look at Allura too long when his gaze flits to her. She seems to be in the same predicament, her lips pursed outward slightly before they turn into a tight line. 

“Heard you guys are heading out today,” Lance says, breaks the silence and the group around him nods. “Cool.”

“Not to worry, my boy,” Coran rattles off, pats the sunhat Lance is wearing. “We will visit and you will visit us as well, of course, once we’re settled.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Lance mumbles quietly, too quiet to be heard and spares another glance around the group, his eyes lingering a bit on Allura and the way her gaze is lifted to the sky, a flush that can only be an embarrassed one on her cheeks. He bumps fists with Romelle next to her and waves at Coran as he walks away. “Have a safe trip.”

 

That night he decides to stay in their new house. It’s bigger, spacious, has a large field of land that Lance is itching to get his fingers on already. He lays down on a sleeping bag outside and Kaltenecker is off to the side chewing mindlessly at the grass that’s plentiful around them. He’s drumming his fingertips against his stomach. They ache a little bit from digging into the dirt nearly all day, from gripping tools without gloves and shears and slowly getting the soil soft enough, rich enough, damp enough so he could carefully lower the saplings he got into the ground. Around the back he had started his garden of juniberries, planted them carefully following the written instructions he had, brushing his palms over the soil once the seeds had been covered.

He shakes his head as he takes a deep breath, his fingers coming to a stop and curling around the fabric of the sleeping bag instead, eyes lifting their gaze to the stars that are more prominent than they had ever been as a child. He knows it’s just because light pollution is lacking from most of their cities having been destroyed, that once they get going again the stars will be nearly impossible to see. He thought that by now he would be tired of looking at a dark sky full of stars but instead there’s a tugging at his chest, something that makes him reach out into the sky and curl his fingers. 

When his phone buzzes Lance glances down at it quickly and grabs it hastily, pressing on the screen and grinning when Keith shows on it immediately. He’s sitting in the Black lion, leaning back with his regular clothes on which makes relief Lance didn’t know he needed flood his body. 

“Hey,” Keith says, offers Lance a small smile and Lance can’t help but return it with a grin, sitting up and scooting back slightly until he can lean against the tree he laid his sleeping bag next to. 

“Hey man,” Lance says back, pops the phone on his knees and stares at Keith, waiting for him to say something, anything.

Keith instead just keeps his eyes on Lance, so still Lance would think he had frozen if it weren’t for colors shifting slowly between bright and pastel on Keith’s face as they travel through whatever it is they’re travelling through.

He thinks he can hear Kosmo somewhere in the background, breathing heavily asleep. The bright lights on Keith’s face finally fading away and making way for a more muted shadow and only then does Keith open his mouth. 

“You look… darker. Like a tan,” he says, rubbing at his cheek with a fingertip. “Looks nice on you.”

“A week in the sun,” Lance says sheepishly, totally embarrassed and feeling his ears grow hot suddenly. “Will do that to uh… skin.”

Way to sound dumb. He wants to turn away and slap his cheeks and tell himself to get a grip but he can’t do that when they’re chatting via video. Keith seems to understand his dilemma because he looks to the side himself, fiddling with something off screen before plopping back down straight on his chair again, nibbling on a slice of apple. 

“How’s your week been?” he asks and Lance is grateful for the distraction, sits up a little bit straighter. 

“Pretty good,” Lance starts. “I spent most of it with Pidge‘s mom, was learning a bit more about plants and whatever. It’s actually… really relaxing. We’re all moving to a bigger place too so I decided to start my first little garden here. There’s a lot of space for the kids to run around and for Kaltenecker to graze around the place. It’s kind of like… a big farm I guess. Only we just have the one cow. Maybe we’ll get more.”

Keith is still working on his slice of apple, has his brows furrowed as he thinks over what Lance said. It was something that made him feel weird and anxious at first but now Lance knows that Keith likes to think over what he wants to say before he does. His words are nearly always careful, rarely miss a beat once he knows how he wants the conversation to go.

“What about the Garrison,” he finally asks, has a perfectly raised eyebrow aimed at Lance. “Have you thought of doing something there too?”

“Like what?” Lance asks, feeling his shoulders tense, the urge to run away strong. 

“Shiro and Adam work as teachers, they really like it. I think you could do something like that too,” Keith shrugs. “You have a really good… attitude to be a teacher. I think I would get too frustrated and yell at the kids.”

The word makes Lance shudder. _Kids_. He hadn’t stopped to think of the fact that he was really close to not being one anymore. Or already wasn’t but it still didn’t feel that way.

“You don’t like kids?” Keith asks and he looks and sounds surprised, his eyebrows raising before he juts out his bottom lip into a pout. He looks genuinely upset for a moment, it digs at Lance’s heart.

“I love kids,” Lance says, laughs and gives his eyes a small roll. “But really it’s mostly teenagers at the Garrison. I don’t know if teenagers would like me…”

“You’re a hero,” Keith tells him immediately, the slope of his shoulders relaxing. “Any kid or teenager would be so excited to meet you.” 

Lance doesn’t think he’s right but he’s not about to correct Keith on that. A little bit of boosting of his ego is good for him once in a while. He takes a deep breath and thinks about it for a moment, pictures himself instructing a new generation of pilots on something he had never thought he would reach the standard he wanted for himself until Keith left. Or got kicked out. Or whatever it was that happened, something that still wasn’t clear to Lance no matter how many times they talked about it.

“Maybe I’ll give it a shot, I’ll find someone to talk to about it, see what my options are. I mean, technically we never finished school so,” Lance shrugs.

“It would be hilarious if you had to go back to school,” Keith grins, finally finishes the slice of apple he was working on and Lance knows it’s probably weird to notice it but he has to bring it up. 

“You worked on that apple slice for a while. What’s going on?” Lance asks with a grin, leaning forward.

“We’re running out of food…” Keith says finally, pursing his lips as he turns his head away, cranky. “Well. Earth food at least.”

“And you’re savoring every bit you can save up, huh?” Lance grins and he knows he sounds teasing now because Keith allows himself a smile and a roll of his eyes before he’s looking back at Lance again. “What’s the one food you could really go for right now?”

“A cheeseburger,” Keith answers almost immediately. “Nice and juicy, a bunch of crunchy fries, and maybe a milkshake.”

“Thought you were lactose intolerant,” Lance snorts, shaking his head.

“Yeah but it’s worth the stomachache once in a while.”

Their conversation flows naturally after that, going back and forth about mundane things, about whatever planets Keith has been visiting, about the new tricks he’s been teaching Kosmo. Lance pulls the blanket around him when the desert night starts to make him feel chilly, he leans his head against his pillows comfortably, enjoys these late night conversations with Keith and the way his eyes start to blink slowly until he’s sure he’ll fall asleep. Keith usually cuts off their conversations and tells Lance to go sleep when this happens but not tonight. 

Instead his voice grows softer every second, Lance’s head nodding off to the side every once in a while until finally he scoots down until he’s laying on his side, tablet propped next to him. 

 

He wakes up to a blank screen, joints popping as he rolls over to his back and stretches with a groan. The sun is starting to rise in the horizon, Kaltenecker is already walking around the green pasture, sniffing at it before she leans her head down to take a bite. Lance groans softly as he sits up, moving from side to side until he can feel the blood flowing through his body once again. 

There’s a slight feeling of disappointment in him that Keith didn’t stay on the video feed all night long even after Lance had fallen asleep, but he tries to reason that maybe they had gotten to wherever they were heading and Keith had to hang up. He swallows once and then reaches for the tablet, licking over his lips that definitely feel dry from keeping his mouth open all night. He thinks his skin feels a little bit dry because he didn’t have a chance to run through his skincare routine when he was so focused on making sure he got the soil ready.

When he finally grabs his phone he taps the side of it gently and the screen wakes up immediately, displaying a message notification from Keith. The disappointment that had been lingering leaves almost immediately, makes a light feeling crowd in his chest instead. 

 **You fell asleep** , the message reads. **I thought it would be weird if I left the video on but I’m glad you’re getting some rest. Shoot me a message when you want to talk again at night. And I hope you think about what we talked about. I really do think you have a few more talents you haven’t even realized you do.**

Lance bites his lip with a smile and rolls his eyes. He knows he keeps discovering he has a knack for things he didn’t know he would be good at. This entire project to restore Earth to the best of his abilities has shown him that. And usually he always discovers these bits about himself when he’s talking things out with Keith, when he hears suggestions in his friends voice, encouragement because Lance is pretty sure he and Keith bring out the best in each other.

_I’ll see if I can schedule a meeting with Iverson. Thanks man. Since I fell asleep early are you free tomorrow night? I got a thing tonight._

**Tomorrow works.**

If Lance didn’t already know that Keith is short with his words he would probably panic a little bit at the response. 

By the time he’s cleaned himself up and packed up his sleeping bag he can hear the grovel crack softly as cars roll into the parking lot. His family begins to pour out of the cars, immediately going to the trunks and undoing straps that are holding furniture on top of their cars. His mama walks by with a box full of pots, his dad following with another box labeled _cocina_ and he gives Lance a playful wink. When everyone has walked by him and said hi in their own way Lance walks over to one of the cars and grabs the first box he can find, takes it to the room it belongs in, repeats the process with his family until they’re done and sitting on the floor of what will be their dining room. They pass around sandwiches, bags of chips, plastic cups that nearly overflow with different flavored sodas. 

It feels right. 

It feels like he belongs. No one is going to question this, his place, what he can bring to the table. He’s a hero in front of his family, a leader, someone to look up to. 

 

It’s almost five when they finally finish unpacking, placing things carefully around the rooms and hanging pictures on the walls with care so that they could tell a story. Lance steps out into the porch when he can finally catch a break, walks down the path they are still working on making more clear. He shoves his hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie and turns slowly so he can take in the sight of their new home. He’s not surprised when he sees Red has already parked himself behind it and off to the side. The shield is up but when he realizes Lance has noticed him the shield comes down immediately, trying to entice Lance into going inside. Piloting again. Lance can feel the longing buzzing underneath his skin but he shakes his head and turns back to the path. 

When he arrives at the Garrison he’s really not sure what he’s looking for. Only that he finally finds it when he steps into what used to the be the teacher’s lounge and spots Shiro sitting with his eyes shut on a recliner. He walks over and tilts his head as he looks at Shiro carefully, doesn’t want to wake him up in case he’s taking a nap. 

His arm is off, leaning on a coffee table besides him. Lance thinks the design of the arm is odd, it’s weird that it just floats next to Shiro. The dark circles that had been under Shiro’s eyes before are faded, the lines of stress on his face smoothed out and making him look a little bit younger, a little bit more his actual age.

“Hey Lance,” Shiro says suddenly and Lance jumps, presses a hand against his chest as he tries to control his breathing after being spooked when Shiro sits up and opens his eyes, looks at Lance with an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Lance says slowly, clears his throat and takes a step back as he places his hands behind his back. “Sorry for bothering you during your nap.”

“I was just taking a break while waiting for Adam to finish up,” Shiro says with a roll of his eyes, a fond smile on his lips when he says the name. 

“What’s Adam doing?” Lance asks. 

Adam is still a mystery to Lance. Someone he suddenly knew about when they came back to Earth on a random day. Someone he had only seen a few times because even Adam had found a path for himself quickly once he had returned with an underground group of survivors. Unlike Lance, still roaming around… pathless. He had seen Adam around the Garrison before but never bothered on asking what he did. He imagined that he probably just did the same type of work Shiro had done before. Shiro had been somewhat of an instructor to the younger generation, the one that guided them through some of their simulations and actual flights because he had all the experience and was someone his age group actually listened to.

Adam though. Yeah, Adam was a mystery. Lance didn’t even know what type of personality he had. 

“Grading papers or something,” Shiro says with a shrug, sitting up and scooting to the side to make room for Lance. “Something on your mind?”

“I guess,” Lance hums, sitting down and bringing his hands together, fiddling with his thumbs nervously. “I was talking to Keith last night and he suggested that maybe I should look for different things to do while I’m on Earth. We both thought that starting at the Garrison might be a good idea.”

“Keith said that?” Shiro asks, he has an eyebrow raised but a slow smile grows on his lips. “I didn’t know you two were talking. He barely even calls me once a month. Wonder what makes you more special than his own brother.”

Lance’s heart sinks for a second before he notices the shaking of Shiro’s shoulders and teasing smile. He rolls his eyes and glances away towards the door, leaning over and resting his head back against the couch.

“What were you hoping to find at the Garrison?” Shiro asks.

“I don’t know,” Lance shrugs. “Keith said I would make a good teacher but I don’t know what I think about that. I never really tried.”

“Yeah who knows,” Shiro shrugs his shoulder.

“You know Takashi when a young soul approaches you and asks you to help them with their future you can’t just say, ‘Yeah, who knows,’” Adam walks into the room with a shake of his head, arms crossed over his chest and Shiro sits up with a sheepish smile, glances at Lance with an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry,” he says and Adam sets down the bag he had hitched on his shoulder, taking a seat on the chair next to Lance carefully. 

There’s a little furrow between his brows, lips set in a straight line, and he gives Lance a quick glance before he’s pulling out a small tablet, setting it on his lap.

“Being a teacher is hard,” Adam starts and Lance blinks a few times, confused for only a moment before he realizes that Adam is indeed talking to him. “It’s a thankless job most days and you have to put in a lot of effort to make sure you’re guiding the people under your care correctly. Late nights grading papers are common, chasing students for assignments, having a sharp eye to notice the ones that are feeling out of sort and offering them help.”

“Right,” Lance mumbles, pursing his lips together while he mulls over the words. “I mean…”

“Lance was the leader of Voltron for a little bit,” Shiro piques up and Adam darts his gaze at Shiro before glancing back at Lance again.

“Not true,” Lance shakes his head, frowning. “I never led Voltron.”

“Oh I thought you did when Keith was being a total butt,” Shiro says and Adam snorts. “My bad.”

Lance grins because he’s seeing a different side of Shiro coming through when Adam is around, something that they had only seen once in a while when Shiro indulged them and was silly with them.

“Not surprised Keith was being a butt,” Adam grins and leans over on his knees to look a little bit closer at Lance. “If you really want to try being a teacher you can shadow me for a few days. I’m back at it now that things have settled down a bit.”

“Shadowing Adam would be a good idea,” Shiro smiles, leaning over as well and placing his hand gently on Lance’s shoulder. “You could learn a lot from him. He is a teacher after all.”

“Stop saying obvious things and get up, Takashi,” Adam rolls his eyes. “I’m tired. Lance, when can you start?”

“Um, Monday?” Lance asks slowly, standing up when Shiro does as well. “We’re moving into a new place right now and it’s kind of crazy.”

“Monday it is,” Adam nods. “I’ll send you a message tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Lance nods, sticks his hand out to shake Adam’s hand and Adam glances down at it briefly before he’s shaking Lance’s hand with a warm smile.

“Meet me in room C-300 at seven sharp.”

“Yikes,” Lance squeezes his eyes shut and he hears Shiro laughing down the hall as he stays in the lounge.

His phone buzzes in his pocket twice quickly but he ignores it to sit down on the couch for a moment. He shuts his eyes, works through the interactions he just had, through the decisions he just made and he’s pleased with the fact that it doesn’t feel like he’s made a mistake. He feels excitement instead bubbling in his chest.

**I forgot how lonely space could be.**

**Forget that.**

“No way, mullet,” Lance mutters to himself, finally standing from the couch and walking out into the hall, his fingers already flying over his keyboard with a stream of thoughts he thinks will distract Keith from the never ending space he faces every day.

 

“Is that Keith?” Sylvio hovers over Lance’s side, peering into the holographic screen that’s following Lance around as he takes care of his chores. 

“Yeah,” Lance smiles down at him, hitches the bag of grain for the chickens higher on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” Keith says at the same time, waves at Sylvio from where he is, the cargo of Black looks comfy after Keith took Lance’s advice to add a bed and some other furniture to make it look like a room.

“Cool,” Sylvio grins at Keith and waves excitedly before shooting off into a million questions to Keith about where he is, what he’s doing, where he’s going next.

Lance rolls his eyes as they get closer to the chickens and their excited clucking drowns out Sylvio only for a moment before he’s jumping on Lance’s back and leaning over his shoulder to look closer at the screen that’s stayed at Lance’s eye level.

“When are you gonna come visit? We miss you.”

The question makes Lance freeze because he’s been wanting to ask that as well but has been too shy to do it. Too embarrassed by what the question implies which is exactly what Sylvio said. He misses Keith. He misses him a lot. He got used to spending the afternoons with him, to talking until Keith finally had to go back to the Garrison or to his shack so he could sleep if he decided he couldn’t take Lance up on the offer to stay that day. 

Keith looks at Lance at that, shrugs his shoulders and leans back on his pillows as the corner of his lip tilts up into a smile that’s almost a smirk. 

“Soon, I hope.”

“Alright, I’m bored now, bye,” Sylvio grunts, drops from Lance’s back and starts running back to the house and Keith lets out a startled scoff before he’s laughing and Lance is grinning, pulling his hand over his mouth so that Keith doesn’t see just how wide his smile really is.

“You should stay with us when you do come visit,” Lance tells him, puts the bag of grain in the storage and wads his way through the pack of chickens carefully so he doesn’t step on any of them. “You’re always welcome here.”

“I know,” Keith smiles, sits up again from his previously relaxed position. “Are you starting to get used to the farm work?”

“Oh, buddy, my body clock sucks now. I can never sleep in past five am,” Lance groans, rubs his chin with his wrist. “I need to sleep earlier to make sure I get enough hours in for my beauty sleep.”

“Oh yeah,” Keith says and there’s a teasing tone in his voice. “I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well at all.”

“Stop trying to be funny, Kogane,” Lance rolls his eyes.

Keith hangs up when Lance is nearing his house again, he looks over the huge home and Red still towers over it behind it. The blue glow of his force field is still around him, taunting Lance with the soft glow that had once been enticing to him. When he turns off his light at night he sees a peek of it against his window and he remembers the way it looked when he first saw Blue, the way it looked falling away from a distance as Lance ran to Red after Keith became the Black paladin. There’s a longing deep in his bones but he can’t bring himself to get back in there.

“You could at least move so everyone can sleep better at night, you know? I’m sure there’s a nicer spot somewhere else for you to park on around the field,” Lance directs his thoughts towards Red and he feels a hum in his body that doesn’t actually acknowledge what he just said more than it just lets Lance know that Red is deeply annoyed. 

The next morning Red is perched next to a tree, his force field is down, eyes blank, body held rigid. It’s weird but it’s a better spot than behind their house. Lance still has to see him every time he heads out to start his chores, still has to see him when he’s rushing out of the house freshly showered and runs to the car he bought so he could get back and forth from the Garrison for his lessons with Adam. 

Adam is kind of a beast.

He’s passionate and quick, his words turn bright and excited as he walks around the room lecturing them on a subject. Lance never had the chance to learn from him before, had been an year away from that when they left to space. He knows that now because most of the students in this classroom look like he did. Their shoulders are still filling up, their uniforms just a rank higher than what he had been. 

He doesn’t wait for people to participate, he calls on them and walks them through if they can’t find the correct answer which is practically never. When they answer correctly Adam nods his head quickly a few times, puffs his chest out a bit with pride and Lance… Lance could really see himself doing something like this. 

Maybe not exactly the way Adam does it but he thinks he can teach, that he could stare out into a room full of people with dreams. Dreams he could help them build a foundation for.

“So, what do you think?” Adam asks when the class is over and Lance stands up from his seat behind Adam’s desk. 

“It’s awesome,” he says, quiet.

When he talks to Iverson about it they make a plan for Lance to finish up his education, get his degree, more training from Adam at the same time, and even a few days shadowing Shiro in his position as Admiral. 

He gets a new uniform, a degree on a stage and the cheers of his family drowning out the rest of the crowd, a group of students in their early teens that look at him with stars in their eyes. He gets to talk about his time in space without it stinging anymore, he gets to talk about the new things he discovered and everything his students could discover if they became pilots. 

Half a year goes by like this. Half a year of juggling his job, the farm, a field of juniberry flowers that just keeps growing and growing, of spending his nights talking to Keith on the phone, through video calls, of missing Keith more than anything each time he gets to see him again at night.

 

 _Why doesn’t he visit already?_ Lance’s mind is running crazy as he waits for the buzzing of his phone. He’s already gone through his night routine and really sleep is tugging at his eyelids because he’s had a long day despite the fact that it’s the weekend. 

“Sure,” he says to himself out loud. “All the liberated planets could use some help but it’s been like half a year already. Maybe a bit more than that.” 

He juts out his bottom lip into a pout and taps his fingertips against the facemask he’s wearing. It’s slippery and soft and it’s refreshing his face and hiding the blush he definitely refuses to acknowledge outside of his thoughts. When his phone starts to buzz he glances at it and snatches it from the table, swiping on the screen and looking at it as it fills with Keith’s face. He has one eye shut and is leaning to the side as an excited Kosmo waggles their tail and licks at his cheek. 

Lance laughs when he sees it and Keith spares him a quick glance before he’s leaning heavily on a wall and letting Kosmo lean their paws on his shoulders, swaying to the side when the wolf clearly jumps excitedly.

“What’s got Kosmo so happy?” Lance asks, carefully balancing his phone against his wall and leaning away to remove the mask slowly, sitting back and patting his cheeks gently to help his skin absorb all it can.

“No clue,” Keith laughs, finally moving the right way so Kosmo drops and runs off with a bark and howl that Lance swears he hears echoed outside. “Are you heading to bed already?”

“I have time,” Lance tells him, grabs the phone again. “Where are you today?”

“Um,” Keith laughs and there’s a nervous tint to his voice that has Lance a little bit on edge. “Somewhere really nice, actually.”

“Yeah?” Lance asks, scooting closer, leaning over his desk so he can look closer at the screen.

“Yeah,” Keith nods, looks around and when his gaze drops there’s a flash of something in his eyes but then he’s looking back at Lance.

“What is it?” Lance asks because he knows, he recognizes every visual cue from Keith now.

“You know,” Keith says as he starts to slide down the wall he was leaning against slowly. “We never talked about Allura after that day.”

The name makes Lance’s heart drop to his stomach, the swooping feeling uncomfortable, and it makes his skin itch and his pulse pick up. He hasn’t talked to anyone about Allura since the day it happened. Doesn’t think he wants to talk about it now either. He shrugs a shoulder and tries to mask his expression quickly, biting his lip when he’s not quick enough and Keith’s brows furrow.

“Do you still…” Keith trails off and Lance purses his lips together. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

“Uh,” Lance lets out a slow breath, his chest feeling tight. “I don’t… I… I’m not sure.”

“Mhm,” Keith’s shoulders slump a bit and he looks away again to the view of wherever he is. 

Lance’s mind is running quickly, his thoughts scattering everywhere because Keith said Allura’s name and he hadn’t heard it in so long, Keith said Allura and Lance remembers the field of juniberries growing outside of his window and all over the field of land that is theirs. Keith said Allura and Lance remembers that he grew it just in case she ever visited Earth and she could see it and realize just how deep Lance’s feelings were… had been… he really doesn’t know. 

He’s going to say something else, he wants to change the subject quickly as Keith chews on his bottom lip and looks somewhere else that isn’t at Lance. He wants to say he doesn’t but he doesn’t know if that’s true and maybe talking to Keith about it could clear out his feelings like it has with so many other things. 

Instead Lance sees a doodle behind Keith, one he recognizes as Nadia’s work, in bright pink on a pastel yellow wall. Lance pushes back from his desk and Keith looks at him again through the screen, widens his eyes but Lance is already running, stomping down the stairs and throwing the door open so he doesn’t hear it if Keith calls out to him. He ignores his mama’s questioning shout and runs down the steps of his porch, rounds the house with his feet bare, stomping on a few flowers on his way but it’s worth it because when he stops. When he reaches the place he knows Nadia used as a canvas he finds Keith sitting on the ground, his head turned towards Lance.

Lance breathes heavily, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tries to catch his breath again after running so abruptly. He stares down at Keith. Keith. _Keith_. 

“Hey,” Keith says quietly, starts to stand but Lance is quicker, practically leaps the distance between them and throws his arms around Keith’s shoulders, pinning him to the ground in a tight hug. He feels a heavy weight drop on his shoulders, Keith’s hands against his lower back, and a wet rough tongue lick his cheek but he ignores it in favor of burying his face against Keith’s shoulder.

“ _Dude_ ,” Lance breathes out and Keith laughs.

He doesn’t want to let go, clinging tightly to Keith who squeezes him back just as hard. The weight on his back is definitely Kosmo, confirmed when he feels the heavy paws pressing against his lower back. That makes him groan and he rolls off Keith so he can hug Kosmo, playfully ruffling their fur. When he looks over at Keith again he notices his cheeks are bright red and he’s biting half of his smile.

“You’re so sneaky,” Lance says finally, scooting over so he can sit shoulder to shoulder next to Keith. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming over? We could have prepared a place for you to sleep… unless you’re going to go stay with Shiro?” 

The thought makes Lance frown, his lips pursing together, gaze lowering. He hopes Keith will stay, that he can steal his time just for tonight. Maybe part of the morning if Keith wants to stick around for breakfast. He has so much he wants to talk about suddenly. Allura is one of the most present issues in his mind now that those floodgates have opened. 

“I can stay tonight,” Keith says and that’s all Lance needs to hear to smile again. He bumps Keith’s shoulder and settles as Kosmo drops their head on his lap. 

“Good,” Lance grins. “Where are you coming from? How long are you staying on Earth?”

“A week,” Keith says, pops his lips and Lance noticed he’s still wearing his Marmora suit for the first time. He looks good, fills the suit in all the right places, the hood hanging loose around his shoulders and back. “It was kind of sudden but we wanted to discuss exchange of goods with the Garrison.”

“What type of goods?” Lance tilts his head to the side. 

“Mostly food right now but we also need fabric for clothes and whatever else they can make with it.”

“Food?” Lance asks, looks next to them at some of the fields behind the house.

“Yeah,” Keith nods, following Lance’s gaze with a raised eyebrow.

“We could give you food,” Lance says, grins at Keith.

 

“Do you have to fight a lot?” Lance asks as they walk into the corn field, the stalks are taller than them now, the corn already there and ready for the picking in a few days. 

“Not always,” Keith hums, touches one of the leaves of a stalk, rubbing it between his fingertips gently. “But there’s some planets where the Galran are the majority and sometimes that majority is not peaceful. Still believe in Zarkon’s way.” 

Kosmo is sniffing at the stalks and Lance hopes they won’t snap their teeth and take a snack.

There’s no injuries on Keith, which is good but after answering multiple calls where Keith has a busted lip or a black eye doesn't let Lance relax. 

“Do your students ever fight you?”

Lance knows Keith is teasing by his tone and it makes him roll his eyes.

“All the time,” Lance plays along. “Guess my job is more dangerous than yours after all.”

“Guess so.”

They’re quiet as Lance guides them towards the chicken coops. He knows all the hens are sleeping by now but now that Keith is here he wants to show off what he’s been doing, what his family has created and taken care of. The coop is pretty big, has various shelves Lance built himself so each hen could have her own space, the center a big space where the chicks can run around in before Lance lets them out each morning before heading to work.

“They’re cute,” Keith whispers as they peer inside the window.

“I know,” Lance grins, lowering the cover slowly again. “They’re my girls. Always happy to spare a few eggs for their Lancey Lance.”

Keith laughs, walking away when they hear soft clucking. “Sorry.”

He points out Kaltenecker to Keith in the middle of three other cows they have now. None of them named yet because Lance doesn’t know if they can ever top that and he didn’t even think of that name.

“I really don’t know what to name the other two, just hoping someone else thinks about some names.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Keith tells him, shrugging one shoulder. “They’ll name themselves eventually.”

“Keith, I’m pretty sure you’re one of the few people that thinks that’s a thing,” Lance tells him with a snort, turning away and back in the direction of the house. 

“You know, Lance,” Keith says from behind him, catching up rather quickly with easy steps. “You might be surprised one day.”

They climb the steps of the porch, the lights are still on and there’s someone watching TV and Lisa is chasing around Nadia and Sylvio yelling at them to go brush their teeth and get ready for bed but judging by their giggling it’s going to be a battle to get them to sleep tonight. She’s really pregnant right now and Luis is probably in the bathroom if he’s not helping her chase down their kids. 

Lance opens the door and is blasted immediately with warm air and the scent of coffee and sweet bread. Keith steps in after him and takes off his jacket to hang it on one of the many hooks right next to the door, shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and follows after Lance. Lance is in his pajamas still, his feet dark with the dirt from outside. He probably should shower again after practically rolling around on the dirt with Keith but he doesn’t want to miss a moment right now.

“Ma!” Lance shouts and she calls back with a half yell that makes Keith snort. “Guess who’s here!”

“Who?” she yells back and her accent is thick because Lance is speaking English right now. 

“Keith!” Sylvio shouts as he rounds the corner of a hall, jumping on Keith and Nadia dives for his legs when she catches up too, Lisa coming up behind them with her hand on her belly. 

The entry of the house is suddenly full and crowded with all of Lance’s family, all of them taking turns giving Keith a hug or a slap on the shoulder and firm shake of his hand. They’re all smiling, asking Keith a million questions and Keith looks a little bit overwhelmed for a minute or two before he relaxes his shoulders and answers all the questions. 

_I’ve been well._

_No injuries right now._

_Just visiting family. You guys are included too, of course._

_About a week._

_I don’t know, Sylvio, what_ do _ghosts eat?_

Lance leans against the door as he watches the interactions go on until only Sylvio and Nadia are crowding Keith. Keith is crouched down, one of his knees propped up, Nadia sitting on his thigh and Sylvio clinging to his neck. The position seems natural, makes Lance feel a flutter in his chest and he’s melting…  melting… melting…. until he falls back when the door opens suddenly. 

Two arms catch him and Keith and Lance both look at the door and see Rachel with her arms hooked under Lance’s armpits, her expression blank before it turns annoyed. 

“Lance,” Rachel groans and Lance slumps further into her arms, going limp, making her stumble just a bit. “Why are you leaning on the door? Get up.”

Keith stands and Sylvio and Nadia keep hold of his hands, Lisa comes around the hall again and she makes some wild hand signs and Lance bounces up with Rachel’s help.

“Come on,” Lance waves at Keith towards the stairs. “Let’s go read a bedtime story to the kids.”

The kids cheer and Keith only drops their hands long enough that he can take off his boots and set them by the door. He offers his hands again to the kids and follows them up the stairs. The kids get settled on their own beds, scooting down into their pillows and Keith takes the book Lance gives him with a hesitant smile. 

They read a few chapters of the pirate book the kids picked, taking turns when their voices get tired, trading off until Nadia is snoring too. They’re both leaning against Nadia’s bed, shoulder to shoulder. Lance leans over to turn off the bedside lamp and only the soft glow of Voltron nightlights remain.

There’s something buzzing under Lance’s skin. Part of him itches to grab Keith’s hand as easily as his niblings did and the other just wants to talk until he loses his voice.

“I don’t think I love Allura anymore,” Lance finally says and Keith stiffens next to him. “I haven’t seen her since she left. I can’t be sure, I guess… but... unless I’m reminded of her… I…”

“The farm doesn’t remind you of her?” Keith asks and Lance knows he’s talking about the juniberries. 

“A little,” Lance admits. “But only about the good feelings. About when we first met her. About our adventures together. Stuff that has all of us included, you know?”

“Do you think if you went to the new Altean planet your feelings would come back?” 

“I don’t know, Keith,” Lance shrugs, their voices have fallen to a whisper. “It doesn’t matter if they did though. I don’t really see a future with me and Allura.”

“What about other people?” Keith asks, his head falling back and bouncing lightly on the edge of Nadia’s mattress. “Have you met any people lately?”

“Nah,” Lance snorts. “It doesn’t even matter, you know? I’m not looking for anything right now.”

“Do you get flirted with?” Keith asks with a grin.

“Do _you_?” Lance counters. 

“Yeah.”

Lance blinks a few times when Keith answers with a straight face and a shrug of his shoulder. His chest feels like it's squeezing tight and he wants to ask who in the world is flirting with Keith. Not because he can’t believe it but because he feels jealous. He doesn’t know if he’s jealous of Keith for being flirted with or of the people that are close enough to him to even have the chance to flirt.

Lance would do it so much better. He knows he could get under his skin. He knows he could make Keith turn cherry red. Could make him laugh nervously, hide his face, and… 

“Lance?” Keith asks. 

“What?” Lance jolts, stands up suddenly. “Sorry. Uh, come on. Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Keith snorts, pushing himself to his feet.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not right now.”

“Sleepy?” 

“Just a little.”

“Want some coffee?” Lance asks last, closing the door behind him. 

“Sure,” Keith hums behind him.

His mama is cleaning a few dishes left in the sink when Lance and Keith walk inside. The kitchen is warm, making Lance feel immediately toasty and they have been here long enough that it finally smells like home. It’s a weird thing to focus on but it’s the only thing Lance can really think of. He had spent so much time in space longing for home, struggling to remember it’s sounds and scents, the pattern of his mom’s breath. He had learned to love a different home instead, he had learned to love the cold halls of the Castle of Lions, the way their steps echoed as they moved up and down, the texture of the food goo, the way the paladins would breathe instead. He had grown used to the sound of Coran’s singing instead of Rachel’s voice accompanied by a piano and Lance himself harmonizing with her from the other room.

 _“We get it, you’re twins that can sing!”_ Veronica would yell down the stairs sounding miffed but it only made Lance laugh. 

“You two going to bed soon?” His mama asks and Keith is already peering into the fridge with pursed out lips like it really is his home too. She ruffles his hair when she walks by him. “I thought you said you would trim that birds nest.”

She sounds strict but there’s a playful smile on her lips and Keith grins at her. Lance wonders if Keith’s mom is this warm with him, if she would be as kind to Lance. He had grown to see her more as a comrade in arms rather than Keith’s mom. 

“I got rid of the split ends,” Keith says, grabs a lock of his hair and pulls it toward his face for inspecting. “Think I’m really into the long hair look.”

It suits him.

“It suits you,” Lance’s mama says and leaves with a goodnight called over her shoulder. 

Lance makes coffee quietly, places cream and sugar in front of Keith because he doesn’t know how he likes his coffee and it’s such a small thing but he wishes he did. He wishes he knew these little things about Keith. He makes a mental note to remember it when Keith throws four full spoons of sugar in his and an extra one after he takes a sip and isn’t satisfied.

Lance’s is mostly cream, turns his coffee a soft brown. They lean against the counter and sip quietly. There’s the soft sounds of crickets outside now and the wind is rattling the windows. Lance isn’t sure where Kosmo went but Keith doesn’t seem worried so Lance isn’t either. 

“Are you really close to Lotor’s old generals?” he asks, running his gaze over Keith’s features.

“In a way,” Keith mumbles. “I mean I’ve had them on my back for a while because they feel guilty and in their eyes the only way to make that better is to… follow me around, I guess. They’re the first in line wherever I am, volunteer for the toughest tasks every time. It’s a lot but I think they mean well. I can’t hold it against them.”

“You got ducklings following you around?” Lance laughs.

“You do too,” Keith says with a roll of his eyes. “Shiro says the young cadets follow you around like lost puppies.”

“Shiro is a liar,” Lance says with a shrug of his shoulder and a sip of his coffee. 

“I have pictures,” Keith counters and Lance just stares at him blankly.

“You’re bluffing.”

Lance doesn’t have time to do anything about it as Keith flicks out his phone, turns it around to show Lance a photo where he’s walking down a field with his shoulders straight, uniform crisp and clean. There’s about eight of his students following him, clearly jogging to keep up with his large strides. The photo fills him with some fondness, he knows they had gone outside to do a quick experiment, to feel the fresh air and sunlight he had missed so much when they were in space.

“I love those ducklings,” Lance tells him with a small smile, waving his hand over the screen to get rid of the photo.

“What are you teaching?”

“Aviation,” Lance bounces a bit on his feet. “Had to study quite a bit for it and there’s someone supervising still during most classes but it’s part of the job. I’m getting some more freedom these days. More alone time with the kids.”

 

Maybe he gathers the courage from the late hour or the fact that they’re sitting in the dark again. Lance is on his bed, back against the wall as he hugs his knees. Keith is on an air mattress on the floor right besides Lance’s bed. He’s looking down now, bottom lip twisting inward and his breath hitches.

 _Why did you try to do..._ that _at Naxela?_

Keith is quiet for a long time. Obviously struggling to find his words, catch his breath even though he’s not moving, there’s a war in his eyes as they dart from his own feet to his hands over and over and over until…

“It was the only way,” Keith says. “You were dying and I didn’t see another way. We tried but failed. We were prepared and it still wasn’t enough. You were dying.”

Lance doesn’t know what to say, hugs his knees a little bit tighter, takes a deep breath. It would be a different feeling swirling in him right now if he had said _you were_ all _dying_. But he didn’t, he said you, he said Lance, he’s talking about Lance. Right?

“All of you,” Keith says after the silence stretches for far too long. “You’re worth more than me. Still are.”

“That’s not true, Keith. That’s… the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Lance shakes his head quickly, heart speeding, tension filling his body suddenly. “Don’t you know? Don’t you know how much we care about you? How important you have always been?” 

“I think,” Keith mumbles quietly, taking a deep breath. “I think I do but my life has never been easy, Lance. I never really had anyone to lean on and tell me I was worth something. I only had Shiro long enough to feel the pain of losing him and not remember why he had tried so hard for me.”

Lance can tell there’s more to it. He can read it now easily in Keith’s broody stare to the side, in the way his lips pout outward and in the furrow of his brows. Lance isn’t going to interrupt, isn’t going to add unnecessary words to fill the space because he doesn’t feel the need to with Keith when there’s silence. It’s good, it’s comfortable, it doesn’t keep him guessing if Keith hates him or finds him annoying. He knows Keith doesn’t. He knows.

Lance wishes Keith knew too.

“But… I’m starting to get it slowly, I think,” Keith gives Lance a crooked grin, his teeth shockingly white in the moonlight, the canine exposed practically glinting.

“You better,” Lance laughs, throws himself down on his bed and pulls the blankets up high enough that cover his cheeks because they’re burning up and his heart is thumping unsteadily in his chest after _that_ smile. 

Keith shifts behind him on his own bed and Lance hears the squeak of the mattress as he sinks into his own pillow and blankets. 

 

When Lance wakes up he’s on the very edge of his bed, fingertips draped over something soft. He lifts his head enough to see and pulls his hand back quickly when he finds his fingers buried in Keith’s messy hair. It’s come out of the ponytail overnight, locks wildly framing Keith’s head.

He has the sudden urge to reach out again and smooth it out and his hand starts to reach out when there’s a knock at his door. He flinches back into the warmth of his bed when the door creaks open and Keith suddenly sits upright. It’s Lance’s mama, apron already on, curls frizzy and held back in a ponytail. 

“Breakfast ready in ten,” she says and Keith leans down again, makes a grunting noise that makes Lance snort.

It’s a weekend so instead of making them fend for themselves in the morning, his mama prepares a huge breakfast for everyone to share. When Lance peeks over his window he can see Sylvio and Nadia in their parents arms as they make the short walk over from the house they built near the family home. It’s taken a while to convince them to move over there but slowly Luis and Lisa have been tricking them and having them wake up there. Veronica starts up her music somewhere down the hall in her room. Rachel starts her TV and just like that the once quiet home is full of sound and life.

His mama is already yelling at Marco to stop whatever he’s doing this time too. Keith makes another muffled sleepy noise and Lance carefully steps around his bed to walk to his closet for a change of clothes. When he’s done pulling the fresh shirt over his head he turns to find Keith intently staring down at his own hands. His cheeks are bright red and Lance has the urge to tease him but his phone starts to ring and he grabs it from the nightstand, glancing at the screen.

“Hey Hunk,” he answers and passes a whining Keith again, his brows furrowed cutely, bottom lip jutting out into a pout as he grabs clothes from his backpack. 

“Hey buddy,” Hunk replies, sounds excited about something. “I’m landing on Earth by like three, I think? Do you wanna hang out? Pidge is in. Garrison Trio back together, baby!”

Lance glances at Keith and snatches away the wrinkled shirt he was about to pull on and Keith falls back again on the mattress, throwing his arm over his eyes as Lance turns on his clothes iron. 

“How about we make it a quartet?” Lance hooks the phone between his shoulder and ear as he starts to smooth out the wrinkles in Keith’s shirt. “Keith got here last night and I’m babysitting him today.”

Keith kicks his leg into the mattress at that and Lance laughs, tosses the shirt at Keith a roll of his eyes. 

“Oh that sounds great! All of us together,” Hunk practically shouts. “I wonder if Shiro is busy today. We could bring back the Original Five.”

“Meet at the Garrison at four?” Lance asks.

“See you then, buddy,” Hunk answers.

He still feels relief when he’s done talking to Hunk. For a while there after they had returned to Eath and his break up with Allura, his relationship with Hunk and Pidge had strained. It took a long time for them to finally apologize and a little longer for Lance to accept that apology as well.

“Done?” Lance asks when Keith finally stands. His eyelids still seem heavy with sleep, lashes sticky, some dried flecks on the corner of his eyes and Lance resists the urge to brush them away, stops himself from carefully holding Keith’s face and use his fingertips to brush away that sleepy dust from his eyes.

He gives Keith a damp tissue instead.

At breakfast practically everyone vies for Keith’s attention but every time Lance opens his mouth Keith turns to look at him and Lance would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. 

Keith follows him around as Lance takes care of his morning chores, talking about mindless things, telling him of adventures that leave a longing in Lance’s heart that’s not strong enough to make him do anything about it. 

“I mean, yeah,” Keith continues. “When they really refuse to acknowledge the new era we have to fight but it’s nothing we can’t handle. Just a few bruises.”

He’s crouching low, staring at the chickens as they cluck and bob their heads around him. Some are brave enough to approach Keith but quickly backpedal when Keith reaches out mesmerized.

“Let’s hope it’s only bruises,” Lance mumbles as he crouches down next to Keith and the chickens and chicks immediately run over. Lance gives Keith a cocky grin as he strokes them in the head and Keith huffs at him with a roll of his eyes.

Lance doesn't really put too much thought into it as he grabs Keith’s hand, but he immediately feels a rush of energy and heat at the contact. Keith makes a soft noise that sounds like his breath hitching but Lance braves forward.

“Now ladies,” he murmurs softly, lifting their hands until Keith’s fingers are touching to the feathers of a hen near him. “Keith is a friend too and wants to give out a little loving. Let’s be nice to him, huh?”

Keith mutters something under his breath that Lance doesn’t quite catch but Keith is soon too distracted with ruffling feathers and scratching at the head of the hen. Lance pulls his hand away slowly but the hen doesn’t seem to notice, content with the attention. 

When the sun is high above them they walk back to the house, hands covered in dirt, sweat on their brows. They walk straight to the kitchen once inside and chug a water bottle each. Lance gives Keith a hand towel so he can clean up his face.

By the time the heat has finally seeped from them it’s nearing their meeting time with the rest. Lance stops in his room to fix his messy hair, adjusts the curls forming around his face carefully. He reapplies the sunscreen he’s rubbed off by now and conceals the bags under his eyes.

“You fixed your hair,” Lance grins when he walks down the stairs again and Keith shrugs, turns his head so his tied back hair whips back and forth.

“Sure did,” Keith grins. 

Lance tugs at it gently, he means for it to be a playful thing, friends teasing one another, but instead he’s caught up thinking about how long Keith’s hair has gotten in a bit over seven months. How soft he didn’t expect it to feel. He lets go quickly when Keith swats at his hand gently. Lance turns away and scrunches his nose at himself, clenching his fists.

 _What are you_ doing? he mouths at himself, jumps once in place.

“Ready?” Keith asks, clapping his hand on Lance’s right shoulder.

“Yeah,” Lance grins, call out a goodbye into the house and Keith nudges him when they hear the chorus of replies from inside. 

“So weird for me,” Keith snorts. “I’ve never really had anyone who would call out like that except Shiro and Adam but we were usually leaving the house together.”

“No need for goodbyes,” Lance hums with a nod. 

“Yeah,” Keith nods in agreement. 

They didn’t really talk about how they were getting there but Lance eyes Keith’s hoverbike with wide eyes. It’s been so long since he’s ridden in one of these, as long as Keith has been gone really. He doesn’t want to drive one himself, not now, not when Red still taunts him daily when he works the fields. He’s noticed vines crawling up his body lately, plants growing upward and attaching to every nook and cranny they can find.

The plants here seem to have a mind and life of their own. Lance attributes it to the juniberries. They were both like an invasive and beneficial species. He tries to picture the world in pink then snaps out of it when Keith pushes a helmet into his hands and waves him over.

Lance takes his usual position behind Keith, shameless now when he wraps his arms around Keith’s waist, locking his hold with his hands firmly around him.

“Ready?” Keith asks and Lance barely hears him over the rumble and muffling through his helmet but he nods, grips his hands tighter on his arms.

“Ready,” he calls out.

It’s a short ride but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s exhilarating. Keith sped through the trees until they gave way to sand, tilted his body from side to side to avoid collisions and they practically took flight at one point when jumping over a small cliff. It reminded Lance of the night when they met again. Except this time he was holding fast to Keith and it was just the two of them. And Lance wasn’t burning with jealousy and fierce need to prove himself. He didn’t need to anymore, Keith knew who Lance was, Keith valued him as an equal.

They were partners, not rivals.

 

Keith is kind of the center of attention here too. They haven't seen him in so long and no one but Lance and Shiro have the privilege to often video chat with him. Hunk squeezes Keith tightly and Pidge hangs onto his arm with a wide smile, tugging him down to her height so she can screech about whatever new discovery she’s made. Keith takes everything in like a champ, doesn’t seem too overwhelmed with the attention so Lance doesn't step in. He just watches from across, picks at the snacks Hunk made. 

“So,” Shiro says suddenly next to him and Lance jumps, coughs to avoid choking on the chip he was chewing. “Keith, huh?” 

Shiro pats his back a few times with his human arm, grin widening when Lance turns to him with burning cheeks.

“What?” Lance chokes out finally, shakes his head as it comes out.

“I don’t blame you,” Shiro continues with a teasing grin and a shrug of his shoulder, glasses barely perched on the tip of his nose. “He’s very handsome, I guess.”

“Ew, Shiro,” Lance whispers, half awed and half panicked.

“I have to say that, he’s my brother, gotta talk him up,” Shiro grins. 

“I mean, I…” Lance trials off, glances at Keith again, unable to hold back his smile when he sees Keith fiddling with the robot Chip, his pout out in full force.

Shiro doesn’t say anything else but Lance can feel his eyes on him. The hand on his back stops feeling heavy and lifts up only enough so Shiro is squeezing his shoulder now.

“Do you think…” Lance starts again, turns to Shiro. “That would be okay? Is it okay to feel something for your friend? Is it unfair to them if you do?”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asks and his white eyebrows pull together.

“I don’t want to make him feel like I made Allura feel,” Lance says. “Like I’m not his friend, like… I just want him to… to be with me in only one way.”

“I don’t think you made Allura feel like that, Lance,” Shiro says quietly. “She was your friend. We were all friends. If she had felt that way she would have said something. You know she always speaks her mind.”

“I don’t want to lose Keith the way I lost her,” Lance mumbles finally. “We haven’t talked since… well since she left to New Altea.”

“That wouldn’t happen with Keith,” Shiro shakes his head. “And I think Allura is just giving you some space. No pun intended. Maybe you should try reaching out. Just a thought.”

Keith starts to laugh at something so hard it draws Lance’s attention and he stands to wander over, grins when Keith says his name and pulls him in closer to look at the videos Pidge is showing him.

“Go back to the one about Wednesday,” Keith says, pulling in Lance close to his side. 

Pidge rewinds the video with her finger against the smooth screen and Lance almost misses the raised eyebrow and sly smile Hunk gives him. He wiggles his eyebrows when Lance meets his gaze and Lance mouths _NO_ , looks down and doesn’t push away Keith’s arm. He leans into him a little instead, looks at the screen with a shiver when Keith turns his head and excitedly whispers into his ear, “Look at this one.”

 _It’s Wednesday my dudes. AGGHHHH_.

Lance snorts when Keith laughs, ignores the look Pidge gives him this time from the side. This is fine. This is what friends do. He used to cuddle with Hunk all the time back in the days. They watch a few more compilations of short funny videos, screaming every time an alien species shows on screen with their awkward humor. Shiro wanders over finally and pretends to look at them sternly only to get dragged in, snorting and chuckling at the funniest videos. 

He’s slouched over the couch in Pidge’s lab with Shiro and Keith. Keith is squeezed between the two of them, seems content, at ease, his hands not tensed at his sides but folded over his stomach loosely. If Lance wanted to he could reach over and lace their fingers together but he doesn’t.

Hunk and Pidge are fiddling with a screen, both shoving at each other to take over typing. It reminds Lance of their time drifting through space, waiting for the next call for help or training time. He swallows once and tries not to look around for Coran and Allura.

“You know,” Shiro says quietly and Keith hums, in tune with his brother. “When we were in space… during the times I was actually with you all…”

Keith and Lance both flinch at the choice of words. 

“I always enjoyed these times the most. When I could watch all of you just relax and have fun,” Shiro continues. “You were all too young to be going through all of that.”

“You were young too, Shiro,” Keith grumbles, his fist clenching. “None of us deserved to go through that but we did.”

“Maybe I was,” Shiro shrugs and Lance feels it all the way on the other side of Keith. “But I was still the eldest, I was still responsible, I still wanted to watch you guys just relax. I wished I could have given you those opportunities more often. When we would go out on a mission, when someone attacked us, all I could think over and over was for all of you to make it out safely. It didn’t matter if I didn’t as long as the rest of you did.”

“Shiro,” Lance says quietly, looks around over Keith’s head and Keith turns his head to Shiro as well. “Are you guys sure you’re just related by choice?”

Keith snorts and Shiro blinks at Lance once, clearly confused.

“You’re important,” Lance tells him and Keith turns his head back to look at Lance again, his eyes practically shimmering and Lance would get lost in them but he wants to drive his point in to Shiro more. “I know you know that you’re a role model to us but that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect you know? We look up to you because you make mistakes too. Me and my sister Rachel are the youngest of our family and I have seen my big brothers and sister do their best every day to be a good example for us, to protect us. I can tell you that you’ve done your best and I can see that you still are. I know the rest of us aren’t as close to you as Keith is but trust me when I say we had the same thoughts and wishes for you. When you would have bags under your eyes from not sleeping or training too hard I wished that you would find the time to relax. When we would step out into battle I hoped all of you would be okay.”

“Yeah,” Keith nods and turns his head to Shiro again. “Without you we would have been lost Shiro. You can’t blame yourself for anything… you shouldn’t blame yourself for anything that happened.”

Shiro looks back and forth between Keith and Lance and finally he smiles, nods his head.

“It’s over now anyway,” Shiro sighs, leans back on the couch and they all resume their previous positions. “You’re all safe.”

 

“You don’t… have to worry about giving me a ride,” Lance mumbles quietly, rubbing his arm as they stand outside the Garrison. The sun has set and it’s chilly. Lance could call Veronica and check if she’s still here or if she’s willing to come get him. “You should go enjoy your time with Shiro and Adam.”

“I have time to at least give you a ride,” Keith laughs, places the helmet on Lance’s hands again and gives him a small smile that Lance returns without much thought.

It’s there again. That squeeze in his chest, the longing that becomes more and more overwhelming each day. With it comes a rush of anxiety at the thought of diving deep into this feeling, at being helpless to Keith’s smile and playful bantering. He climbs in next to Keith, slides his arms carefully around his waist, swallowing once before he’s hooking his chin on Keith’s shoulder so he has a better view. He can feel the way Keith’s back muscles and shoulders move each time he leans to the side or revs the engine of the bike.

If Lance wasn’t wearing a helmet their cheeks would be pressed together. 

When they arrive to Lance’s house he untangles his arms from around Keith and hops off. Keith takes the helmet as Lance offers it to him but instead of tugging it on he rests it between his legs, turning to look at Lance. His face is flushed by the wind, his bangs that usually frame his hair wild around his face while his low ponytail is holding steady. 

He’s not sure why he’s so afraid of accepting the feelings he has for Keith. It’s not as if he doesn’t have a chance with him. They came out to each other so long ago, Keith could like him, maybe, if Lance said something. At the very least he would let Lance down easy. He’s sure enough of that. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt though.

“Are you going to be spending the entire week with Adam and Shiro?” Lance asks, tries to stop his voice from sounding whiny. 

Keith seems to hear it anyway, if the way he grins and drops his head is anything to go by. Lance can see him bite his lip as if to hide that grin too late.

“No,” he finally looks up, smooths his gaze into his more neutral expressions. “I can only stand how lovey-dovey they’ve gotten since finding each other again for maybe two days. Plus,” Keith’s voice lowers into a whisper. “They can be kind of… vocal.”

Lance blinks at Keith, distracted briefly by the red tint to Keith’s cheekbones before the meaning of the words sink in. He snorts before he’s laughing so hard he leans over to clutch his belly. Keith shoves at his shoulder but Lance really can’t stop laughing.

“Quit,” Keith huffs. “Seriously, it’s not funny at all.”

“It’s a little bit funny,” Lance chortles, shaking his head. “You’re always welcome here to escape amorous noises.”

“Jeez,” Keith rolls his eyes but nods his head. “I thank you at least for that small mercy.”

“So…. just come over when you’re tired of hearing, _that_ ,” Lance smirks at Keith, starts walking backwards to the porch steps. When he steps upon them Keith pulls on the helmet and starts up the hover bike again. Watching him drive away kind of sucks. Bad. 

 

“So you’re finally embracing your crush on Keith?” Hunk asks as Lance passes him the bowl of chopped onion. They’re making chili in the Garrisons kitchens, enough to feed everyone and then some. It’s hot inside, humidity sticking to Lance’s skin, beads of sweat clinging to his upper lip.

“Why does everyone keep implying stuff like that?” Lance groans, covering his head and he hears the sizzle of the pan. 

“It was written all over your face from the moment we met him. I know you always said you hated him but I guess I know otherwise,” Hunk shrugs. “Even when you were with Allura you were kind of hung up on him.”

“I don’t…” Lance shakes his head. “Maybe you’re right but trust me, the deeper feelings feel more recent, maybe four months or so recent. I’ve always cared about Keith just… never this much.”

Hunk stays quiet, offers a sample of the softened and fine pieces of vegetables to Lance and they both say _needs more salt_ at the same time. 

“He’s like… my best friend,” Lance continues with a shrug. “Crushes on friends are normal, right? They don’t have to go anywhere. Or mean anything.”

“But they could,” Hunk smiles, his voice soft. “Keith is a nice guy. You would be good together.”

“You don’t even know if he likes guys,” Lance rolls his eyes. 

“You’re right,” Hunk grins. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“That’s weird, Hunk,” Lance huffs. “I don’t know if being so straight forward is polite.”

They’re quiet again and Lance starts chopping more onions when a chill runs down his back and he drops the knife with a clatter. Of course he already knows that Keith does. Like, exclusively.

“Wait a minute,” he shouts and Hunk drops the ladle he was using into the pot. “How did you even know about me?!”

“Oh,” Hunk blinks, fishing out the paddle with a different one. “I just figured since you flirted with me after we got back from summer that one time when we were sixteen. You kept calling me a juicy, thick piece of man.”

“I was complimenting your growth spurt,” Lance splutters. 

“And my brown sugar skin?” Hunk raises an unamused eyebrow at Lance. 

“Quiznack,” Lance mutters.

“You should compliment Keith’s growth spurt,” Hunk says with a grin, the chuckling in his voice infectious. “You know, _again_ that is.”

“Hey!” 

“What does _grizzled_ even mean by the way?”

_“Hunk!”_

Lance might have panicked before. He might have wondered how many people knew and just hadn’t said anything. How many thought it wasn’t even that big of a deal because. That was just an undeniable part of Lance that didn’t make him bad or disgusting. 

He wonders if his siblings can tell, his parents, if they can see his obvious crush on Keith too. Can Keith tell? Is that why he teases Lance so much? That would be cruel so Lance doubts it. Keith could never be cruel to him.

 

He’s pacing his room and really hopes his parents can’t hear his the anxious tapping in their room. They deserve to rest. He can’t stop himself from pacing though, needs an outlet for all the energy clinging to him. Nervous energy, but energy nonetheless.

He turns back to his phone, bites his lip and shudders. It’s such. small object, but reaching out for it means moving onto the next step of what he wants to do.

He hasn’t really talked to Keith in two days but at least once a day he gets a picture about whatever he’s doing with Shiro and Adam. It looks like they’ve been taking Keith everywhere they can think of and to most of the new restaurants popping up. 

He really misses their late night conversations but Keith promised to visit with him and his family once more before heading out again and Lance believes him. That fact alone is enough to make him reach out and grab the phone.

He unlocks it, scrolls quickly over the screen to get to his contacts and presses down on the name. Her name.

It rings so many times Lance is about to give up, feels his heart sinking down his chest and to his stomach with every ring. He’s nauseous, doesn’t want to feel like a bother and unwanted again.

He’s about to close out the call when there’s a click, some static and the clear and bright and a little bit hesitant voice of Allura comes through.

“Lance?” she asks and Lance’s shoulders slump, the tension he had been feeling melting away.

“Hey Lura,” he mumbles, falls back on his bed and throws his arm over his face, shielding his eyes from the ceiling lights. 

They’re quiet for some time. Lance had rehearsed what he wanted to say but now that he’s here the words have slipped away. He takes a deep breath before he says anything else. He hopes his voice doesn’t shake. That would be too embarrassing, a little bit humiliating. 

“I’ve been thinking about you lately,” Lance says. “Reminiscing a lot on the past. We hung out the other day and you and Coran weren’t there and… I don’t know. It felt like something was missing.”

There was a brief silence when Lance paused to take another breath. The truth was that admitting all of this does mess with his pride slightly but not enough for him to give up. 

“I guess I just wanted to say that if you’re staying away because of me… you don’t have to anymore. I know things ended very awkwardly between us but… uh… I just… it doesn’t mean we can’t… argh.”

“It’s okay, Lance,” Allura says suddenly. “I think I understand what you mean. And… you didn’t say it but I miss you as well. All of you.”

“We do miss you, Allura. So much.”

“How have you been?”

“Really good,” Lance grins, pressing a hand against his wild beating heart. “You?”

“Content, but so very tired. Actually running a kingdom is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And… just a tad boring at times to be frank.”

They talk for a little bit over an hour, catching up on everything that’s happened since they’ve last spoken. 

“Shiro and Adam are obnoxiously cheesy if you’re with them too long. Hunk spends a lot of time traveling. Has he ever stopped by Altea?”

“Only once but we do speak often over text messages.”

“Pidge is practically our top robotics engineer, only second to her dad.”

“What about Keith?” Allura asks. “I’ve sent messages offering his cause aid in the past but I’m afraid I have not heard back from him.”

That gives Lance pause, makes him think of why Keith isn’t answering Allura’s messages and he can only come to the conclusion that he didn’t so he wouldn’t have to lie to Lance if he ever asked. 

“Keith is great,” Lance says when Allura makes a confused noise. “He’s working hard. I actually talk to him a lot. Might be difficult to believe but… he’s like my best friend nowadays.”

“You know, I always thought you two might become close if you gave it a shot,” Allura says and Lance can hear her smile. “Blaytz and my father were quiet close. They had a very quirky and mutually… bickering type of friendship.”

“Yeah, I think we both learned how we are so it’s easy to… just be real with each other.”

Allura starts speaking again but Lance hears Coran in the background calling for her. Allura sighs and Lance hears the sound of a sliding door opening.

“Princess, you’re needed at the control room,” Coran’s voice says through the speaker.

“Give me a dobosh,” Allura says and suddenly she’s speaking into Lance’s ear again. “Sorry Lance, seems I’m needed elsewhere. I’m glad we could have this conversation.”

“Me too, Allura,” Lance replies and he really, really means it. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“You as well,” Allura laughs and it’s the last thing Lance hears before she hangs up. 

The butterflies in his stomach settle and he grins, covering his face with both hands. There’s a flutter of butterflies in his tummy but they’re not the same he used to get when he was in love with her in the past. It’s a more settled type, one that makes him feel the sweet touch of first love again, knowing it’s over but being okay with it.

_(Better?)_

It’s the first time in a while that Red has spoken to Lance and it sends a shock through him. He sits up and looks toward his window. He can’t see Red unless he leans out and peeks to the side. 

“Yeah,” he mumbles with a smile. “Better.” 

 

“I’ll get it,” Lance mumbles sleepily when the doorbell rings. He stands from the table and wanders over, peering through the frosted windows before grinning as he spots what’s unmistakably Keith’s mullet. He throws the door open without much thought, throwing his arms around Keith in a tight hug. “You’re here!”

“Hey,” Keith laughs, the sound of his bag dropping with a firm thud and he hugs Lance back just a tightly. 

“Oh, no wonder he says he can’t stand us,” Lance hears Adam’s voice and pulls back from Keith enough to peer over his shoulder. “He has Lance to run to.”

“Where did you think we were driving to this far?” Shiro asks and Lance spots him now as well. “All Keith talks about now is Lance. It’s like when he was twelve and obsessed with Pokémon cards.”

Lance pulls away from their hug and Keith is wearing his annoyed scowl. He gives Shiro a hug as well and fistbumps Adam.

“I don’t know,” Adam singsongs as he eyes Lance up and down. “I think this might prove to be more intense than Pokémon cards.”

“Please shut up,” Keith mumbles and Lance can see the horrified look on his face. 

“We brought some chocolates for your parents,” Shiro smiles, offering Lance a beautifully wrapped box.

“One of the many future gifts to come to honor the inevitable uni-“

Adam cuts off sharply when Keith covers his mouth shut with his hand. The resounding smack seems to echo through the fields and Lance can feel his cheeks burning up.

“Um… you guys wanna come in?” Lance asks with a smile. “We’re having breakfast.” 

“We wouldn’t want to intrude,” Shiro is wearing that soft, knowing smile.

“No way,” Lance grins. “In my house it really is the more the merrier.”

When they’re done and full Keith and Lance sneak off the table, run up the stairs to Lance’s room and the chattering and laughter cuts off with the soft click of Lance’s bedroom door shutting.

“Sorry about Adam,” Keith mumbles. “He says the craziest things.”

“Oh, no,” Lance shakes his head, sits on his bed and bounces a bit before he lays back, eyes on the ceiling. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t even think I know what he was trying to say. You covered his mouth pretty quick. I mean, if he was about to give me info that I could use to tease you then I’m wounded you didn’t let him finish but-”

“Trust me,” Keith laughs and Lance feels the bed dip again, Keith resting back soundlessly next to Lance. “It wasn’t anything you’d want to tease me about. Better he didn’t finish talking.”

They share companionable and comfortable silence for a while. When Lance tilts his head to look at Keith his eyes are closed but he’s not sleeping. He can see there’s bags under his eyes that seem to be there permanently no matter how much rest Lance has seen him get. He figures it’s because Keith is always running, even in sleep he thinks that Keith’s mind probably keeps going nonstop, keeps him thinking. He used to sleep in his regular clothes, after all, saying that it was just in case he ever had to jump into action. He probably sleeps in his Marmoran suit now on the control chair of the Black lion and Lance knows from experience that’s _not_ a comfortable place to rest.

“Hey Keith,” he finally speaks, quietly so as to not startle him.

“Mhm?”

“You’ve never really told me that much about the space whale,” Lance whispers, birds are chattering outside, and he can hear the clucking and mooing of his cows as well. “And you said you spent two years there… Are you like… actually two years older?”

“Well,” Keith sighs and Lance sees him open his eyes, lips pursing and twisting to the side. “I don’t actually know if I’m two years older. I figured that I would count a new day each time the sun rose. Sometimes the time felt short but others it felt more like a regular day. Keeping time was… difficult. There were so many other aspects too, there was this light that would sometimes hit us and we saw pieces of the past or future. Never enough to actually know how to make some futures happen but…”

Keith shrugs and Lance doesn’t miss the blush on his cheeks but he doesn’t press him. 

“Maybe just a year older,” Keith says the words but it sounds more like a question.

“So… you would be around… twenty-five now?”

“Feels like it. But I think maybe we should just go by Earth years.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“October twenty third. Yours?”

“July twenty eight,” Lance grins. “Mine is close.”

“I’ll do my best to be on Earth… or send you a gift at least,” Keith grins, nudges his shoulder with Lance’s.

“You better be here for my birthday and yours too,” Lance huffs. “I need to throw you the biggest birthday bash ever.”

“Ah… that sounds… scary, but if you threw the party I would probably like it.”

“So guess what I did yesterday,” Lance grins, clenches his fists together so his hands don’t shake with any type of emotion.

“What?” Keith asks. 

“I talked to Allura,” Lance blurts out, sitting up and Keith does the same.

“Oh, really and—”

“It was great. You know… I really missed her a lot,” Lance continues, covers his face with both hands. “Hearing her voice was like… the best thing after these past two years.”

“Right.”

“We just talked about so much and it felt a lot like old times, you know?” 

When Lance turns to look at Keith he stops short on what he was about to say. Keith’s face is blank, his eyes stuck on something Lance can’t pinpoint in the room, lips held in a straight line. It shoots a cold shock through Lance, the expression one he hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Um… Keith?” he asks, rests his hand on Keith’s arm but Keith pulls away sudden, the motion harsh. 

“Uh…”

“Keith, we’re leaving now!” Shiro’s voice calls out and Keith stands sharply, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulders.

“Are you leaving?” Lance asks, the happy feeling that was lingering in his bones seeping away slow, leaving him cold.

“Yeah,” Keith says, won’t meet Lance’s eyes. “I was thinking just now and I never really get to see Shiro and Adam. I should spend as much time as I can with them, y’know?”

“Oh no… yeah… of course.”

Keith opens the door, heads down the hall towards the stairs and stops when he reaches them.

“I’m so… _glad_ for you and Allura. You… you deserve something good.”

Lance blinks, dumbfounded, and sprints to the stairs when he gets the meaning of Keith’s words but it’s too late. The door is shut, Adam’s car is so far it’s barely a dot on the hill. 

He sits down on the steps of the porch, taps his fingers against the now worn out wood. There’s too many thoughts rushing through his head, a confused tint prevailing all of it. He groans softly, covers his face with both hands again, hating that he’s somehow picked up this an annoying habit from Keith. 

His initial urge once the odd shock has worn off is to call Keith but there’s a part of him that’s angry, winning out on that urge and making him feel a sudden stubbornness instead. If Keith isn’t going to stay and listen to him then Lance doesn’t need to worry with giving any explanations.

He doesn’t hear from Keith by the end of the week. Nothing but a short text **leaving now. see you in a few months** , and a sour feeling in his stomach and chest. 

There’s something familiar about the way he’s left feeling. He wants to talk to Keith about it but he can’t when the reason he’s feeling this way at all is Keith himself. When Keith probably wouldn’t answer even if he tried calling. He recognizes the feeling weeks later as the same sting of heartbreak Allura left behind.

He’s brave enough to admit it to himself this time. Brave enough to not let it paralyze him with depression like his breakup with Allura did. 

 

“Mr. Lance?” one of his students calls out and Lance looks up. He had asked them to refer to him by his name when hearing his last name had made him feel insanely old. “Are you okay? You look like your tummy hurts.”

The kids are so intuitive Lance has learned new ways of lying and keeping himself a vivid canvas, like someone full of energy. There’s a chorus of _yeah’s_ and kids looking up from their group projects to Lance.

“Don’t worry your little heads about me,” Lance tells them with a smile. “I had a late night and didn’t get all of my beauty sleep in.”

“Ooooh,” they nod knowingly, turning back to their work.

He turns the page on the book he was reading, pursing his lips together into a tight line. His phone feels hot suddenly in his back pocket and not for the first time does Lance want to grab it, step outside, and call Keith. 

He’s not going to do it, of course. He couldn’t be caught dead doing it. He can’t really believe that Keith would go as far as to ignore Lance like this when the last time he had left they talked daily, every night both curled up in their own beds talking until one of them knocked out. The difference is so wide that Lance doesn’t know the rules. Hunk and Pidge told him to just reach out but he can’t. He just can’t.

He takes time off his teaching to travel to Europe and help the farmers there on working the soil with the new alien plants. They don’t have to rely on them but some species of plants had been eradicated in the Galra’s attack and supplementing the sources of food with the same plants Lance grew wasn’t a bad idea. He messed up his sleeping schedule while there, definitely coming to the conclusion that the sunlight just made things worse when he had to be awake than the vast darkness of space had. At least there if he woke up at 3am or 3pm everything still looked the same.

He returns home when he gets a text message from Allura saying she’s dropping by for a visit with the leaders of the Garrison and the celebration. Her text message is full of pink emoji’s that emphasize her excitement to see all of them once again. Lance sends back an equally enthusiastic message and tells her he can’t wait to see her again. He’s relieved to find that even though they have been talking more often, even though they have grown to know each other better than they ever had before, his feelings have remained completely platonic. Lance is strong but he doesn’t think he could handle two heartbreaks at once.

It’s bad enough that just when he was over the first one the second followed. 

At least Keith had never been his.

 

“How you feeling?” Hunk asks next to Lance as they stand near the space landing docks. Lance has his hands tucked into his back pockets and Hunk is holding two vegan milkshakes in foam cups.

“What do you mean?” Lance asks, raising an eyebrow. He had tried the milkshake when Hunk was preparing it but he had to admit he rather enjoyed the taste of non vegan shakes better. Though he could get used to it if it ever came down to it.

“About seeing Allura again,” Hunk shrugs. “You haven’t really talked to me about how all of that went down and… I know that was my fault but I just don’t want you to put yourself through stress and something you don’t need to go through.”

“I’m fine, buddy,” Lance grins, spotting the new and improved Castle of Lions in the sky, coming out of a portal. It’s bigger than the one they traveled in, upgrades visibly there, but it still looks so much like Lance’s old home. “Allura and I are friends now, we cleared the air.”

Coran runs to them with tears clinging to his eyes, a wide smile, and a mustache that shakes with every word. He hugs Lance and Hunk tightly, accepts the milkshake after Hunk explains how it was made, and starts chattering off their ears. Allura comes out a bit slower, she has her hands folded over her stomach, hair flowing with the wind. It’s a bit shorter than how Lance remembers it but then he notices part of it is gathered up into a braid around her head.

She stops a few feet short from them and then she’s running as well, each step echoing. She throws her arms around Lance first and he immediately slides his arms around her waist carefully. He gives her a squeeze when she squeezes him, rubbing her upper back with a quiet laugh.

“Oh, I missed you both so much,” Allura says, turns to Hunk to give him a hug just as fierce. She takes the milkshake as well and gives it a sip, her eyes wide and shimmering, smile bright when she pulls back from the straw.

She’s here for the second year anniversary since the defeat of the Galra. The party was supposed to be held in Altea but Allura suggested otherwise, that a celebration on the land where it happened might be more appropriate. 

They take her around the facilities until they can meet up with Pidge and she hops on the golf cart as well as they make their way to Shiro’s office. Lance sits at the front, driving with Allura squeezed between him and Pidge. Coran and Hunk took the back seats, clinging to one another and shrieking each time Lance takes a sharp turn. Allura laughs, her bangs ruffling with the wind. 

He had pictured moments like this with her in the past, back when returning to Earth had been just a dream. When _she_ had been nothing but a dream. He thought they could finally have moments like these when everything had come to an end but things had changed.

They spend the time in Shiro’s office passing around snacks and drinks, sitting on the desk and the chairs he has, some of them on the floor, laughing and reminiscing about their time at space. Someone brings up Coran’s ear worm and it throws them into a hurry to reenact the crazy show Coran had scripted for them. Shiro in his body, although he had no real memories of the show, seemed to remember and played along.

They part ways when it’s nearing the time of the party and Lance is done tossing a bag of empty chips in the trash when he feels a cold metal hand drop on his shoulder. He turns enough to look at Shiro, an eyebrow raised.

“Keith is coming tonight,” he says and Lance pulls his eyebrows together, Shiro’s smile turns sad. “I know… he hasn’t really handled this time apart from you well but… he really cares about you. He’s too stubborn to come out and say sorry. I don’t want to force you to do anything but… if you’re willing, please talk to him tonight.”

“I’ll think about it,” Lance mutters. 

“Thank you, Lance.”

“I mean… it’s been like three months and he hasn’t answered any of my messages so I shouldn’t even care,” Lance huffs and Shiro sighs, looking down. “But I’ll try at least. For you… because you care about Keith.”

“Thanks,” Shiro smiles and squeezes Lance’s shoulder gently. “I mean that.”

 

He walks down the steps of the second floor slowly, careful not to trip over the dress shoes down the stairs. He’s wearing a suit specially designed for the paladin’s of Voltron. It has red accents that only remind him of Keith. He’s always thought he looked better in blue but honestly, seeing his reflection in the mirror, the red tie, the red cufflinks, the lined red collar… he had to admit he looked pretty good himself. Lance thinks it’s vaguely Altean inspired as well meaning that Coran probably designed them for the team. He wonders if they’re all a little bit different to fit their unique personalities or if they’re the same.

“You look so nice, mijo,” his mama coos when Lance goes into the kitchen to say goodbye. His papa and Rachel are putting away the clean plates and they both turn with wide smiles.

“Woah, you really do look awesome,” Rachel says. She’s already in her dress. It clings to her body perfectly, the mustard yellow making her brown skin pop. There’s shimmering glitter on her eyelids and her lips are cherry red. “Still think you should have done something with your eyes too but… you still look great.”

“If I sweat it would smudge everywhere,” Lance rolls his eyes.

“Pretty dapper,” his papa says, brushes over Lance’s shoulders and they both turn when they hear Veronica clacking into the room. 

She’s wearing a red dress, her hair is up in a bun on the back of her head, and her glasses are perched on the tip of her nose. She stops stumbling as she finally gets her heel on in place and stands up, brushing down the front of her dress. 

“Well,” she says, pats her small wallet on her hand. “Let’s go.”

They get into the car all at once. Lance starts it up and turns to make sure they’re wearing their seatbelts before he’s out the driveway and down the path leading to their farm. He pretends the rush of butterflies in his stomach is from the car bouncing on the gravel but if he thinks about it more closely he knows it’s because of the fact that he's going to see Keith tonight. After three whole months of radio silence from him.

When they walk inside Veronica immediately takes off in a different direction than them and Lance glances over, sees her arms around Acxa and he rolls his eyes as he looks away. He remembers the time he had his crisis about her, about what might be going on with her and Keith and feels silly now that he has all the facts. Even more because her and Veronica are sickly sweet in love.

Rachel nudges their shoulders together and looks at him with a small smile. “Wanna get some food?”

“Ugh, yes,” Lance nods. 

The lights are dim, the music is loud, and there’s so many different types of people and aliens mingling together. And although none of this had ever been the goal when they were on their mission to defeat the Galra empire, Lance thinks it’s one of the best effects of it. He didn’t ever imagine that in his lifetime there would be universe wide communication and yet here they are. 

They pick up at the different pieces of food together, take cups of a sweet red drink some servers are walking around with and find the table for the paladins and their guests. Pidge is already sitting there with Matt and his fiancé, all three of them crowding around a small holoscreen that Pidge is fiddling with. 

Usually Lance would already be walking all over the floor, mingling, trying to get the most attention and laughter out of his audience but right now he’s starving. He had lost his appetite when Shiro had mentioned Keith would be coming, the strangest thing, but now it was back with a vengeance and Lance was going to stuff as many delicious tiny finger foods as possible in himself before he had to face the world. 

Rachel gets up when she’s done and says she’s off to explore with a wave to Lance. She immediately runs to the crowded dance floor and slips right in with everyone. Lance scans his eyes through the crowd and spots Shiro by the small podium with Allura, they’re both looking down at some flash cards that probably have Allura’s speech for tonight in them.

He keeps moving his eyes around the crowd and that’s when he spots Keith. He’s with Acxa and Veronica, a hand on the back of his neck, his smile awkward as the two girls jab at his chest. Lance wonders what that’s all about and thinks about getting up and saving Keith but then Veronica is pointing in Lances direction and Keith is looking over. 

Their eyes lock together and Lance can’t help the way his eyebrows pull together and he glares. He cares about Keith… he really does, maybe too much, but the silence between them isn’t something he going to ask for forgiveness himself when it’s not his fault.

Keith starts walking over and Lance stands, meets him halfway because he doesn’t want Pidge to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Hey,” Keith says when he’s finally in front of Lance and Lance crosses his arms.

“Mhm,” is all he can bring himself to hum. 

“Do you think…” Keith hesitates as he looks around. “Maybe we can go outside? Find somewhere quiet to talk?” 

Lance shrugs and Keith purses his lips out into the annoyingly cute pout, motioning for Lance to follow him, turning back to make sure Lance is. Lance did think about slipping away from Keith but he wants to have this conversation. He wants to know why Keith cut him off for months.

“I won’t keep you long,” Keith’s voice is quiet, sad. “I just… I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

They’re in one of the gardens outside, some alien flowers are glowing in the moonlight but most have already closed for their petals until morning light wakes them again. There’s fairy lights decorating the trees and the door. 

“I shouldn’t have… I should have replied to your messages, answered your calls that first week,” Keith continues. “I really have no excuse, I just… got frustrated about—“

Keith takes a deep breath and Lance loosens his arms from their crossed position, head tilting to the side as he watches Keith struggle. 

“I just want what’s best for you,” Keith says finally, looks at Lance with a pleading gaze. “When you and Allura broke up you cried on my shoulder and I didn’t want that to happen again. But I had time to think about it and I’m happy for you. You deserve to be happy with someone you love.”

Lance furrows his brows together, pursing his lips and eyeing Keith. 

“What are you talking about?” he asks, blinking. “Allura… do you think we’re back together?” 

“Aren’t you?” Keith asks, his voice breaks near the end, eyes wide.

“No,” Lance says slowly, narrowing his eyes. 

“Oh.”

They’re quiet for a while and Keith tugs at his suit, looks unsure. 

“I’m still sorry.” 

“Yeah, that was… really shitty of you I won’t lie but,” Lance shrugs, looks away. “I don’t want us to stop talking or anything. I mean… you’re forgiven but it doesn’t change that it was a shitty thing to do.”

“I know,” Keith takes a deep breath and he nods. “I will never do that again, Lance. Whatever happens. I promise.”

Lance shoves his hands in his pockets, nods his head a few times and then motions for Keith to follow him back in. 

“Come on. Let’s go dance or something.”

“Okay,” Keith smiles, follows Lance inside, their shoulders brushing together. 

The rest of the party is still going strong, more people going into the dance floor than before. The lights are flashing different colors and there’s a wide group of people and aliens showing off in various small circles. The aliens have an advantage with higher jumps but Lance thinks he sees a few of the MFE pilots giving them a run for their money. Kinkade makes a flip in the air, lands in a split, and smirks up at the crowd when they start screaming. 

“Woah,” Keith mutters. “I didn’t know he could do that.”

“I did,” Lance grins and Keith glances at him with a raised eyebrow. “He invited me to lunch one time and we ended up at a park and he basically did parkour all over and showed me how to do it. Turns out… he asked me as in on a date. I felt bad for saying I didn’t know and…” he shrugs and Keith narrows his eyes, looks back at Kinkade with his lips twisted into a frown. 

Lance doesn’t want to lose out on this moment, he grabs Keith’s wrist and drags him over to the dance floor, turning around to face him once they’re in the middle of it. Keith looks a little bit uncomfortable and out of place but Lance gives his wrist a reassuring squeeze and lets go of it. He gives himself the chance to get the music into his system before he’s moving along to the beat, showing Keith how to move while he mimics the moves slowly.

It doesn’t take as long as Lance thought it would for Keith to start dancing in earnest with him as well. They grip each other’s arms when they stumble, make room when their friends find them and join in. He feels carefree, in a dance floor, on Earth, surrounded by the team of people that helped him become a better person, the ones that were there in the same ship with him while they tried to survive. 

The people he saved the universe with. 

Allura turns away when Coran approaches her later in the evening, waves goodbye to them and Lance grins at her as she walks off briskly to the podium. Keith stops shaking his arms around awkwardly and the music slowly comes to a stop, the volume lowering until it can’t be heard anymore. Everyone starts talking over each other and Keith comes closer until he’s standing next to Lance, both of them turning to look at the podium. Allura is suddenly there, the light shining bright upon her.

 

“Can I give you a ride home?” Keith asks and Lance nods, drops the keys to his car on Rachel’s open palm.

Lance wants to roll his eyes at how it seems like everyone is coming out of the building paired off. Holding hands or with their arms around one another, sticky eyes on each other. If he’s going to be real with himself it actually sparks some jealousy in him. He wishes this night had the same effect on him and Keith.

“So,” Keith starts. “I kind of hitched a ride with Shiro and Adam. Do you mind… walking with me to their place to grab my bike?”

“Wow,” Lance deadpans, snorting a second later. “Let’s go.”

They start walking around the Garrison, Lance tucks his hands into the pockets of his pants, his jacket over his shoulder. Their steps start to echo as they make it to the streets. All the lights are off save for the small ones dotting porches, safety lights for homes still being reconstructed. Shiro and Adam moved to Lance’s old neighborhood so it’s all familiar to him, leaves a bit of homesickness in his chest.

Shiro’s car is already on the driveway, meaning he probably bailed out of the party earlier and knew Keith would find his way home somehow. Keith’s motorcycle is leaning against a pole and he tugs the key from his back pocket swiftly.

“Wanna take a walk before I take you home?” Keith asks and Lance blinks at him once.

“Isn’t that what we just did?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Another,” Keith shrugs and Lance would be lying if he didn’t admit he wanted to spend just a little bit more time with Keith. 

They somehow find their way to the same tree where he shared his first kiss with Allura. The memory doesn't sting like it used to, instead it curls around his heart with incredible fondness for a first love, makes him smile just a bit even though he should have known from that moment that they wouldn't work out. Keith kicks lightly at the foot of one of the benches and Lance drags his eyes away from the tree that doesn't wither even in the winter.

He looks different, always does when he comes back from his humanitarian trips in space, or when Lance hasn’t talked to him through video in a while. His hair is always just a little bit longer but Lance knows he never lets it get past an inch after his shoulders, sometimes he answers with new scars, overly calloused fingers, a limp or broken bone. It shouldn't be dangerous what he does but a lot of times it means fighting for the freedom of the planet they want to help. Lance doesn't like to think about it but he knows there's always a chance he won't come back. That maybe one day Zethrid, Ezor, and Acxa will bring the bad news with heads bowed.

“This is nice,” Keith hums, rubs his arm even though it's covered in his sleeve.

“Yeah, I really like it here,” Lance smiles, sits on the bench and Keith does the same.

There's a few inches between them that Lance itches to close, wants to be as close to Keith's warmth as possible. Keith throws his arm over the back of the bench, tips his head back and the scar on his cheek stretches and Lance gulps once, curls his fingers to the edge of the bench to stop himself from reaching over, stroking over the shape of it as he's imagined million of times. A confession dances on the tip of his tongue whenever he's with Keith but maybe this isn't the place to do it, or maybe because of what happened here it _is_ the place to do it.

“Hey… Keith,” Keith's head tilts to him and he's smiling, is focused completely on Lance the way no one ever was. “I'm glad you're safe.” He could at least admit this much, the entire time there had been silence between them Lance had been worried that maybe that would be the last time he talked to Keith.

Keith blinks once before he's chuckling, shutting his eyes with a small smile.

“No, I am,” Lance continues. “You risk your life out in space every day. Getting your phone calls every week is my favorite part of my day. It lets me know you're alright, that you're doing something you're passionate about… you've come a long way. You're… you're always my support and I…” 

“I’m sorry again, Lance. I shouldn’t have blocked you out. You are my support too,” Keith tells him. “Have been since you became the red paladin.”

“I don't do it because _I have to,_ ” Lance frowns and Keith sits up, shakes his head. 

“I know. It's just when it started.”

“Feels like Acxa has that role now,” Lance mumbles, looks away.

“No way,” Keith snorts. “She's annoying, and not in an endearing way like you.” _Woah_. “I think she's trying to overthrow me sometimes. Mutiny.”

“That was my thing too,” Lance says with a shrug and Keith laughs, nudges his arm against Lance's and he can't help but turn his head to look at him, surprised at how close he is, at the way he can see the sparkle in his eyes.

“Gotta watch my back then,” Keith hums, his smile is teasing. “If I'm not careful you'll steal my squad _and_ ride and leave me here butchering the progress you’ve made with your class.”

“Waiting for your man to come back from the war,” Lance jokes, pokes at Keith's cheek because he's _too close_ , so close it would be easy to lean in and peck his lips.

“I wish,” Keith grins, suddenly freezes and blinks once before he's pulling back abruptly, standing and pacing around the garden in a small circle.

Lance is stunned, hasn't lowered his hand from where Keith's face had been before, he feels his heart in his throat, can't even hear his rational thoughts over the high pitched shrieking in his mind.

“Uh, let's head back,” Keith stutters suddenly and Lance stands numbly because even though he wants to say something his mind keeps chanting _not here not here not here_. 

“Yep,” he says instead, hopes his cheeks aren't too red, that his skin hasn't blanched in spots the way it does when he feels _way_ too embarrassed.

There's a fluttering in his stomach as they walk back to the bike, he furls and unfurls his fingers because all he wants to do is reach over and hold Keith's hand, lace their fingers together, pull their hands up until he can brush his lips over Keith's old scars and knuckles. Every time he chances a glance at Keith he's pointedly looking away.

The ride is a quiet one and Lance can’t help but notice how Keith keeps the speed low, like he wants the moment to linger as badly as Lance does. The moonlight hits the skin on the back of Keith’s neck softly, makes it look soft and milky.

When they finally break through the patch of trees and are up the road leading to Lance’s house, Lance loosens the grip he had around Keith’s waist. 

“Well… um…” Keith huffs when they're at Lance's door and Lance is _sure_ now that he didn't imagine what just happened. “Uh… I'm having dinner with Shiro and Adam tomorrow and…”

“I'd love to go,” Lance says, opens the gate and goes behind it, closing it after him before he leans into it and stares up at Keith in his slightly bent position. “And if you weren't asking that then we can hang out the day after.”

“I'll pick you up,” Keith mutters, looks away from Lance. “Sorry about earlier… that... must have been weird.”

“Nah man,” Lance laughs awkwardly, pulls back and takes a backward step to his door. “I started it anyway.”

He doesn't wait for an answer, turns when he feels his door with his fingertips and quickly opens it, slips inside with a quick wave to Keith and presses his back against it before sliding down to the floor. He can feel his heartbeat _everywhere_ , rests his hand against his chest as he lets out a slow breath. _That happened_. 

 

When Keith has to leave again he lets Lance know. He shows up at his doorstep two days later with a slice of cake from Adam and promises to call as soon as he has a free moment. He had only gotten away long enough to attend the party but now he was needed back at some planet. The calls start that same night. 

 

“And out of nowhere a worm comes out of her nose,” Keith continues and Lance blinks before he bursts out laughing as he files down his nails. “Yeah. It was hilarious.”

“So she did eat it,” Lance says between giggles, shaking his head.

“Yeah. It was disgusting,” Keith laughs. “Anyway, she asked me if you had any tips for preventing bugs from getting inside the apples and veggies. Something environmentally friendly, of course.”

“Of course,” Lance rolls his eyes with a grin, puts down the file and leans around his desk to find the packet he’s looking for.

 

“Did you know that they have a statue of Abraham Lincoln in a planet on sector fifty?” Keith asks, he’s lounging on his chair, tossing a ball up and down.

“What?” Lance snorts, rests his cheek against his open palm.

“Yeah,” Keith nods. “When some aliens visited Earth they took a few trinkets with them and passed them off as statues of gods. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that it wasn’t a god but just a historical figure from Earth. Matt almost spilled the beans but he saw more value in leaving it secret and having a hilarious joke to tell back home.”

“I  bet he’ll text that story to me any day now,” Lance grins.

 

“And they just went all in, you know?” Lance says, shaking his head as he scrolls through the photos for Keith to see through the stream. “I was only joking when I told them they would take over the class but boy did they do a good job. They even dressed up like me.”

“It’s adorable, Lance,” Keith says and his voice is quiet and extremely fond.

 

“Veronica is so cheesy it’s kind of gross,” Lance grumbles as he collapses next to his phone, turning on his side so he can still see Keith. “Having one of your siblings engaged is weird. I didn’t even feel it or remember Luis, like all I remember is going on a ride to our aunt’s house because it’s bigger and like holding a pillow.”

“You were the ring bearer?” Keith asks and Lance nods, laughs. 

“Yeah, I have pictures,” Lance says.

“You have to let me see,” Keith gasps, his eyes wide and soon enough he’s cooing over the photos Lance is broadcasting to him. “Your hair is so curly. Did you grow out of it?”

“No,” Lance says, closing off the photos and looking at Keith again. “Cropping it this close kind of kills the curls.”

“You should bring them back,” Keith tells him. “It’s cute.”

 

“Would you ever come on a trip with me?” Keith asks.

“Like to London or something?” Lance asks, stabbing at the salad in front of him.

“No, to space,” Keith snorts and he’s taking a bite of what looks like pizza but not quite.

“I don’t know,” Lance mumbles, shrugs his shoulders. “A vacation with my best bro sounds fun but I don’t think I could go to space just yet.”

“What’s holding you back?” Keith asks.

Lance takes a sip of his water before he can answer. 

“I’m not sure. I think space has some bad memories for me right now.”

“We could always make new good ones.”

“We could.”

 

“Hey,” Keith mumbles and Lance can barely see him in the dark screen.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks, squints his eyes and he can see Keith’s silhouette move and hears the sharp gasp he lets out. “Keith, are you hurt?”

“Ah, yeah,” Keith groans and the lights are suddenly on on his end. “Don’t worry about it. No big deal.”

“You’re bleeding,” Lance deadpans but he wants to reach out too, wishes they weren’t having a video call and he could tend to Keith’s wounds. Help him heal.

“It happens sometimes,” Keith mumbles quietly.

 

“There has to be something more than just bad memories,” Keith says and he’s panting as he keeps running and Lance rolls his eyes.

“Just hang up and focus on what you’re doing, you’re going to get hurt,” Lance tells him. He sees the bright flashing lights of laser guns going off, hears blades connecting, and Keith clenching his teeth as he swoops down and up quickly.

“We would go to a peaceful planet,” Keith continues. “You won’t have to go through stuff like this if you don’t want to fight anymore.”

“It’s just stupid, Keith,” Lance says and relaxes when he sees Keith go inside a building and start sneaking around, he lowers his voice out of habit. “Last time I went into space four Earth years had gone by. And it didn’t even affect our bodies the way it was supposed to. I barely feel twenty-two dude.”

“Whatever that means,” Keith mutters and his face is suddenly glowing with purple light.

“Are you gonna go finish your mission now?” Lance asks.

“Fine. Talk later.”

“Later,” Lance waves and the screen turns off. 

 

“Check out the new battle scars,” Lance whistles lowly the next time Keith is on his screen.

“They’ll go away,” Keith shrugs and rubs at the new cut on his chin.

“I don’t know, man,” Lance mutter. “That one right there looks pretty deep. Feels like it might leave a big mark.”

“Are you going to tell me today why you hate space now?” Keith asks. “For real?”

“I don’t hate it. You shouldn’t put words in my mouth.”

“Then what is it? Don’t you miss any of this?”

“Getting hurt?”

“No,” Keith says, shakes his head fiercely. “Helping people. Saving them.”

“I…” Lance shakes his head. “I don’t know, I kind of like my little farm. I like my kids. I like my job.”

 

He’s tending to the juniberries when he hears it. The wind picks up around him and Lance reaches up to hold down his sun hat. He tips his head up and spots the Black Lion in the sky easily, getting larger and larger by the second as it approaches. It lands perfectly roughly a mile away from Lance, Keith clearly careful to avoid the heavier patches of flowers. 

Lance waves when the lion’s head lowers and he sees Keith’s figure walk out. He’s wearing his Blade suit, the chest plate design different from the one the others in the organization have, it really makes Keith stick out as the person to look up to. It’s the same as the suit Kolivan used to wear before he resigned after Haggar had been defeated. Keith had seemed like the perfect person to come next in line but Lance thinks no one could have suspected the humanitarian efforts he would apply to the Blade beyond what they already did.

“Hey,” Lance calls out when Keith is closer, sets down the basket he was carrying with eggs and grain and walks forward to meet Keith halfway when Keith suddenly starts sprinting at him.

Lance can’t say he was ready for the hug but he returned it easily once he recovered from his shock, hugging Keith back and grunting softly at the tight squeeze Keith gives him, sighing when his spine pops a few times but it’s a good type of pain.

“Welcome back,” Lance tells him when Keith pulls back and he admires his face for a second before he suddenly notices the blood sticking to Keith’s forehead and brow, bruises decorating one side of his face, his cheek already a dark purple. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Come to space with me,” Keith says and despite the state of his face his eyes are shimmering.

“Dude, no,” Lance says, shakes his head and moves back to where he has his basket. He had dropped his small backpack there earlier as well while he tended to the flowers but he picks it up now and digs inside of it for his emergency mini first aid kit.

“Do it.”

“Bossy,” Lance mutters and stands up, motions for Keith to come closer. “I don’t want to. Space isn’t for me. Now can you stop focusing on that for one second and let me clean you up. You have dried blood on your face in case you didn’t know. And I already told you, I like my new life.”

“Bullshit. I _know_ you, Lance,” Keith says, is way too close, invading his personal space and Lance can only blink as Keith jabs a finger into his chest. He has dried blood sticking to his hair, his Marmora suit is glowing purple and Lance blinks again, holds his hands up in defense in front of him and takes a step back but Keith follows him. “You don’t want _this_. I don’t know who you’re trying to fool saying you do.”

“Keith,” Lance starts, scrunches his eyebrows together and looks around. “You’re wrong. This _is_ what I want. I’m tired of war, man, I’m tired of fighting non-stop and never knowing if I’m going to make it out alive or not.” 

Keith is actually right, Lance really can’t stand this simple life he decided to give himself after his family had insisted he didn’t have to risk his life anymore, that he could be a honored veteran now, could rest for the rest of his days without any financial worries. He had agreed because he could never say no to his mama, didn’t want that heavy worry in her eyes anymore, wanted her to be at ease knowing all her children would be on Earth, safe, alive until they died of old age. He had fooled himself so that he could keep her happy, looked for other things that could fulfill his life and while they did, while they helped him learn things he hadn’t known about himself before they still didn’t feel like enough. 

“Bullshit,” Keith spat out and moved away from Lance, crossed his arms and walked across the field of juniberries, the one that Lance had grown because of Allura. Still hanging on to some hope that maybe she would change her mind and they could be together again after she was done getting the Altean colony together. At least that’s why at first, now he just felt responsible for the flowers. He thought it would be a romantic gesture, that she would be touched, but seeing Keith stomp through the pink fields now makes him feel stupid. At least Allura had liked it when she finally visited it. At least she had kissed Lance’s cheek and told him how happy she was that even on Earth there was something from her planet.

( _You are stupid_ ) Red says plainly and he glares over, winces when he can see the vines and moss are thicker and wrapped tightly around Red’s body. _You can leave and have your own adventures with a new paladin, you know???_ Lance huffs, follows after Keith with the first aid kit clutched tightly to his chest. _(Never. Loyal to Leo.)_

He might as well say _unlike Allura_ straight into Lance’s mind but he doesn’t. ( _It’s called reading between lines._ ) _And you know she did the right thing too._ ( _Maybe_ )

“Ha!” Keith shouts and Lance has a feeling their connection is still there just like the one between Lance and Blue. Faint but loud when the lion wants to be. 

“Keith, at least let me clean you up before you stomp away into the Garrison and worry everyone,” Lance sighs, catches up to Keith and grabs him by the hood of his suit. “Come on, you have dried blood all over you.”

Keith stops when he feels the tug, turns around and glares at Lance before he drops to sit on the ground. Lance follows after him, careful not to crush too many juniberries and pops open the first aid kit. Keith is doing an excellent job at not looking at him, doesn’t even flinch when Lance cleans up the gash on his forehead with disinfectant.

He works in silence even though he should really be scolding Keith for not being careful enough to at least care for his wounds before he dropped by for a visit on Earth. Lance had wanted to clear up his wounds as soon as he saw him but clearly Keith had come on his own mission to Earth to yell at Lance first.

“You’re right,” Lance tells him as he carefully uses butterfly bandages to keep the gash on Keith’s forehead closed. “About everything. There’s nothing I can do about it now, though, and I really don’t want to worry my mom anymore. We went missing for years, Keith, parents don’t just bounce back from that easily.”

Keith flinches and Lance frowns, bites his lip when he realizes that was probably not the best thing to say. Keith and his mother had been apart for so long, his dad had died, and Shiro-

“I get it,” Keith sighs. “Adam didn’t want to let me go either until Shiro convinced him.”

Silence stretches over them again as Lance grabs one of Keith’s hands to clean the dry dirt and blood from his knuckles. He works quietly, tries not to think too much of the tingling on his fingertips, tries to ignore the feeling he refuses to let grow because he’s not good enough for Keith either. He doesn’t want to burden Keith with his feelings like he did with Allura for years. 

“Come on one mission with me,” Keith says when Lance drops his hand back on his lap and takes the other. Lance looks up to him, blinks once, and parts his lips to say something but he glances down again to clean this hand. “Nothing dangerous, a planet that’s been recently liberated needs supplies and help building a few shelters. There’s kids that could benefit from some basic medical care too. You could show them how to grow their own food, even just entertain them with some classic Lance humor...”

Lance smiles, indulges himself by squeezing Keith’s hand once before he’s dropping it and leaning back on his hands braced behind him. He tilts his head back and looks at the sky, watches the clouds speeding by, feels his hair flutter and pull away from him.

“Okay,” he says finally. “ _One_ mission.” 

“Yes!” Keith shouts and Lance snorts, sits straight again and shoves Keith’s shoulder playfully. “Get up, Red! We’re going on an adventure.”

( _Only answer to Leo. Loyal._ )

Lance grins and stands up, looks towards Red and allows himself for the first time in two years to admire him, allows the itch to get in and fly as fast as they can, climbs the way over with Keith close on his heels this time and stops in front of Red. 

“Let's go,” Lance says with a grin, throws away the sunhat he was wearing and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. 

Red stands, vines full of flowers snap as he does, and he roars, eyes flashing white. The Black lion echoes his roar after and Lance laughs, covers his ears as the wind picks up again, turning when he hears Keith whoop excitedly. 

“Maybe we should clean him up,” Lance mumbles as he looks at Red up and down. He has to tip his head far back, spine bowing backwards as he looks at the damage on Red.

( _I like flowers_ ) 

“I know, buddy.”

“Let’s do this,” Keith claps his hands together and they get to work.

Red bows down his head and Lance starts working on the vines wrapped around the muzzle, pulling at them firmly until they give way, pink and yellow flowers rain over him. He untangles everything he can and Red makes the process easier by snapping open his mouth, more flowers rain down and Lance looks over at Keith. There’s flowers sticking to his long hair, the ponytail he was wearing almost sliding off. He thinks about going over to fix it for him but he shakes off the urge and starts to scrub off the moss sticking everywhere else.

Rachel comes by with lemonade a few times as they work, a plate with carnitas and tortillas during dinner time and watermelon water.

They pause then and sit on top of Red’s paw together while Rachel walks away. The plates are between them and Lance reaches over to make a taco for Keith, adding the cilantro and onions on top, squeezing some lemon and adding some of the salsa. He gives Keith the salt shaker and Keith shakes it over his taco so many times Lance _has_ to say something.

“That’s way too much,” he says as he bites down on his own taco.

“You can never have too much,” Keith replies, sticking out his tongue and bending over to take a bite. “Mhmm, sweet sweet saltiness.”

“Salt isn’t sweet,” Lance laughs.

“To you.”

The wind ruffles Keith’s hair, dries the sweat on their skin, makes the clothes they’re wearing pull and Lance rest his arm on his knee, picks at his plate until it’s empty and enjoys the silence. Keith takes small sips of his drink, his eyes shut every time and he hums happily each time he sets down his plate and Lance has never seen him like this. He has never seen Keith at ease, slowing down in front of food, enjoying something new with an open mind.

It’s not the first time Lance thinks about kissing him.

Probably won’t be the last. 

He turns his head away and leans his cheek against his knee when he feels Red’s giddiness at his train of thought. He rolls his eyes and sends back as much denial as he can through Red’s encouragement. _We’re just friends._ ( _Friends can become more_ )

They hop off the paw when they’re done eating and get back to work, nearly done as they round to Red’s back and start to brush away all the growth there as well. When they’re done sunset is in full effect, they both walk around to the front of the lion again and Lance can’t help but grin as he sees his lion standing proudly. 

Rachel comes outside again and they both turn to look at her, Lance grins when he sees the Polaroid camera on her hand. She waves it and stops a few feet away from them.

“Scoot in for a picture,” she calls out and Lance meets Keith’s gaze at the same time.

He scoots closer by taking a step to the side and Keith does the same, doesn’t hesitate as he pulls his arm around Lance’s shoulder and tugs him in close to his side. He makes a peace sign with the hand of his free arm and Lance does the same with both of his hands, his grin big and genuine as he turns back to Rachel to face the camera. She snaps the picture and Keith squeezes him once before he’s pulling away.

“Here,” Rachel grins, gives Lance the photo that’s still developing and she takes a few steps back to admire Red with a whistle. “He’s looking good. Are you going to fly again? We’re all really excited for you.”

“You are?” Lance asks and he stares down at the photo, watches as their outline slowly starts to show, color bleeding into the image.

“Of course you dork,” Rachel laughs. “You were always happier in the sky.”

“Yeah, guess I always was,” Lance smiles, turns to Keith to find him staring down at the picture with a small smile, his cheeks pink.

 

“I’m not wearing that,” Lance tells Keith, shaking his head as he stares the marmora suit that Keith is holding up. “It’s not my style.”

“I think you’d be surprised,” Keith tells him, rolling his eyes and looking over at him quickly before tossing it to Lance’s bed, “Plus, you have to. It’s uniform, we all have to blend in, look the same. Paladin suits just don’t provided that type of cover being such a bright color. It’s okay when you’re going to spend most of your time inside a lion but that’s not going to be the case where we’re going,”

Keith is silent for a minute as they stare each other down, 

“At least, I hope not,” he continues. “You’re ready to get your hands dirty, right? It’s going to be a lot of hard work… maybe you’re not cut out for it.” 

Lance wordlessly holds up his callused hands, fingernails sometimes with dirt so deep in them that it always takes him forever to clean them out. 

“I’m a farmer, Keith,” he says in a flat voice. “My hands are always dirty.”

“Alright,” Keith agrees and turns away to sit by Lance’s desk again. “Still have to wear it though, I don’t make the rules. Oh wait, I do.”

“You’re not funny,” Lance says but he’s smiling, grabs the uniform from the bed to look over it once and rolling his eyes. “Not sure purple is a good look on me but I’ll try anyway, I guess.”

It’s different from the one Keith wears but he supposes that’s because he has to stick out as the leader of his humanitarian relief efforts. If someone wanted to speak to the person in charge they would be able to spot Keith right away if his aura didn’t give him away already.

He takes the uniform into the bathroom in his room with him, leaves Keith to snoop around his stuff without much worry because there’s a deep trust inside him and he knows whatever he finds he won’t be teased about it. He knows that when it’s Keith. If he is teased Keith will do it with an easy smile and nudges of his shoulder and playful banter that makes fun of himself as well while he tries to roast Lance. 

When he closes the door he turns to the full length mirror on the back of it, stares himself up and down and pulls lightly on the skin under his right eye. He sticks his tongue out and takes a deep breath. When he pulls off his shirt he tries not to focus too much on the battle scars spread all over his chest and arms, he tilts his head from one side to the other until it pops and stretches his back. A minute later he’s in the suit. It’s form fitting, presses against all the right places of his body, accentuates muscles he didn’t remember having but must have developed with all the heavy lifting he did daily.  

He pulls the armor pieces over himself, pats his chest once firmly once it’s locked into place and tugs on the gloves Keith had tossed at him earlier that day. They weren’t fingerless like the ones he Keith usually sports but they feel like he’s wearing nothing. It’s strange to see himself decked out for battle again but it also somehow _feels_ right. 

When he opens the door again Keith has a photo album on his lap, a small smile on his lips as he flips through some of Lances favorite pictures from his childhood up until just yesterday. As soon as he had gotten to his room he had pasted the Polaroid picture of him and Keith on the next free page. 

“Wish I had pictures of myself when I was a kid,” Keith mumbles, runs his finger smoothly over a picture. “Mom says I was pretty cute.” 

Lance raises his eyebrows, grinning a bit because this is the first time he’s heard Keith call Krolia mom. He peers over Keith’s head and stares at the picture of him and Rachel with matching outfits for a baseball game. He can hear the cheers of the crowd and smell the hot dogs they’d had while watching intently, hoping their team would keep the advantage. 

“I’m sure you were,” Lance says and Keith looks up, eyes Lance up and down in the marmora suit and nods his head once. “So? What do you think?”

“It suits you,” Keith tells him, drops his head again to flip through the pages of the album before stopping at the very end, 

Lance stares at the picture and crosses his arms over his chest. He’s not embarrassed he kept the photo, he’s not embarrassed that he’s placed it along with his other cherished memories. They took it just last night so the memory is still vivid but as he stares at their pose, arms around each other, the Red lion standing proudly behind him he can’t help but feel like both of them were destined to be this close. 

“Red paladins,” Lance murmurs and Keith grins. 

“He only picks the best,” Keith mumbles.

“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” Lance asks, pushes away the urge to sit on Keith’s lap as Keith puts away the album back where he found it.

“Dawn,” Keith shrugs. 

“If I weren’t used to it I would be complaining right now, I hope you know that,” Lance tells him with a huff. 

“Sounds to me like you already are complaining,”  Keith teases. 

“Like you didn’t before when you would stay over and my mom would come wake us up in the morning,” Lance throws one of his stray socks at Keith and Keith snatches it from the air with a gasp.

“How dare you, sir,” he says in an English accent that throws Lance so off kilter he nearly tips over. “I’ll have you know you cannot hold a mere young adult against his doings of the past regarding sleeping habits.”

“Oh god,” Lance gasps, wheezing. “Please stop.”

When they settle down they’re both laying back on Lance’s bed. There’s a gap between them that Lance itches to close but he doesn’t. He respects the space and what it means. 

“Did you really fly in when you weren’t supposed to from a mission just because you wanted to get me out there with you?” Lance asks.

“Yeah.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Everything with you is worth it.”

Lance feels his heart thump unsteadily in his chest before it picks up the pace, he feels a burn from his cheeks to his chest and breathes in deeply. When he chances a glance at Keith he finds the latter’s eyes closed, a small smile on his lips. Lance doesn’t know if Keith realizes what saying things like that do to him but he takes it anyway with a full heart.

“Are you excited about tomorrow?” Keith asks.

“Yeah,” Lance mumbles, rests his head back down on the pillow. “I am. No fighting right?”

“No fighting.”

 

When he wakes up his legs are sprawled over Keith, mouth dry because it opened over the night and he breathed with his mouth. He groans softly and sits up, glances at the window and sees the first tendrils of sunlight start to peek through the horizon. Keith rolls over when Lance pulls his legs away and he nudges Keith with his elbow.

“Get up,” Lance mutters.

“Mhmp,” Keith huffs, turns to hug the pillow he was using closer to his face. 

He snorts and walks over to the bathroom to start his morning routine. Lance pulls on his new Marmora suit slowly, turns from side to side in the mirror again to admire himself and steps out of the bathroom with his toothbrush and toothpaste inside a ziplock bag. Keith is pulling his chest plate over his own skintight suit and rubs the back of his neck before he’s snapping his hair into a low ponytail. 

It feels oddly domestic, the fact that they’re getting ready together in the morning, the silence feels light, comfortable. He could picture himself like this daily, hugging Keith from behind, kissing his cheek gently, nuzzling into it with a happy hum. He’s lost enough in the fantasy for a moment that he jerks up when Keith shakes his shoulder gently.

“Ready to go?” Keith asks quietly, a smile on his lips.

“Ready,” Lance breathes out, nodding.

His mama, papa, and Rachel are in the kitchen downstairs. Lance is glad it’s summer because he doesn’t have to worry about calling in a substitute but he hadn’t thought about the fact that he would have to say goodbye to his family. There’s two packed bags with lunch and when Lance peers outside he sees Luis and Marco stacking boxes together in front of the lion.

His papa pulls him in for a hug and kisses the top of his head, firmly grips his shoulder and squeezes once. 

“Cuidate,” he says low. “We will be waiting for you to return.”

“I will,” Lance nods and then he’s being pulled into his mama, he squeezes her back tight and buries his face against her shoulder, head bent down.

“I packed you food for the day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Don’t forget to eat out there, okay?” she whispers and squeezes him tightly once more. “Come back safe.”

Rachel punches his shoulder lightly and gives him a quick hug, her lips jutted out into a pout. Her eyebrows are pulled together and she doesn’t say anything but Lance gets it when she shoves a lunch box into his hands and then another to Keith. 

“Thank you,” Keith says quietly and Lance glances over at him to find him bent with his head low to listen to what his mama is whispering in his ear. He pulls back and looks her straight in the eyes, making her blink, and Lance doesn’t blame her because he knows what Keith’s gaze is capable of. “You have nothing to worry about. We’re going to build some new homes and entertain a bunch of little kids. If there is ever any danger I will get Lance out of there quickly.”

His mama nods, satisfied and brushes down the shoulders of Keith’s uniform, it glows purple under her touch but Keith straightens up and follows Lance out the door. Rachel is close on their heels, goes all the way to Red and Black with them and watches as Marco and Luis come out of Red.

“We’ve packed some supplies you can share where you’re going, seeds and pretty much everything you need to show people how to cultivate,” Marco says, his voice still rough with sleep, eyes sticker than they usually are but he smiles at Lance and pats his shoulder. “Take care, nerd.”

Luis comes out next and dusts his hands on his pants, he shoulder checks Lance on his way past him and Lance stumbles before he’s turning to his brother and sticking out his tongue. Luis rumbles out a laugh and ruffles Lance’s hair with a grin.

He thought he might feel panic before, that leaving his family for space again would send him into a spiral but he feels surprisingly calm. He thinks it might have to do with the fact that he gets to tell them goodbye this time, that they know he will definitely come back, that they don’t have to be afraid they’ve lost him and suddenly see him in the news. Veronica is already out there with Acxa so if he ever misses home all he has to do is look for his sister. 

He turns to Keith and finds him already looking at him, a smile on his lips. He smiles back and they both raise their fists at the same time before they’re turning to their own lions. When Lance steps in he can feel his skin humming, Red excited, heavy in his mind as Lance steps closer and closer to the chair. 

It doesn’t look any different, there’s no dust on the surface of his chair or the controls, he takes a deep breath and sits down, grips the controls when Red scoots his chair forward and the screens in front of him turn on. It might be silly but he feels tears pool in his eyes and he blinks, laughs and answers Keith’s video call, grins as he’s wiping the corner of his eyes when he sees Keith appear front and center on his screens.

“You okay?” Keith asks, his head tilted to the side. He’s illuminated in that soft purple glow again and Lance nods, grips the controllers tighter again.

“I’m okay.”

“Alright,” Keith grins and swipes his fingers through his own screens, a map with the destination appears on Lance’s side and he accepts the coordinates. “Shall we?”

Lance nods, and with his hands gripping tightly onto Red, he pushes them forward. Red takes off in a run before he’s jumping into the sky, soaring high, the Black lion next to them and they reach space quickly. The darkness surrounds them eventually and they sweep between the planets of their solar system, Lance’s heart rushing, his smile making his cheeks ache.

( _I love this_ ) Red rumbles in his head and Lance nods. _Me too._

 

They stop on a planet to stretch their legs and children are waiting excitedly near the lions. When Lance steps out he hears their excited shouts about the Red paladin and he crouches down as they approach him with sparkling eyes.

“We thought you were gone forever, Mr. Red Paladin,” one of them says and Lance turns to look at them with a snort.

“Almost was,” he says.

“The Red lion is my favorite so you’re my favorite!” another kid says and Lance gives them a fist bump, accepts the hugs from all the children before he’s standing straight again.

“You kids be good, alright?”

They cheer as they run around the lions and Lance walks over to where Keith is waiting for him. They both have their packed lunches and find a bench to sit on, greeting back everyone that greets them. 

“Your mom is a great cook,” Keith mutters through a mouthful of milanesa and Lance laughs, pops a piece of cucumber in his mouth. “She’s a genius.”

“And don’t you forget it, Kogane,” Lance says smugly and pushes his shoulder against Keith’s.

“This is literally some of the best food I’ve ever had,” Keith says as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Mom only knows how to cook random things she hunts and the meats aren’t always savory but… at least it’s made with love.”

“Will she tried to feed me?” Lance asks, horrified at the thought of eating an unknown animal that was hunted down.

“Maybe,” Keith grins and Lance narrows his eyes. “Definitely now. I’ll tell her you’re dying to try her mystery porridge.”

“Stop,” Lance gasps, horrified.

“You want to explore?” Keith asks when they finish up and are packing the containers back inside. “We got some time to spare.”

“Do we really?” Lance asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m the boss, I decide,” Keith shrugs and Lance snorts, shakes his head at his serious expression before Keith breaks into a small smile as well. “Seriously. You never know what you’ll find in these planets.” 

“Okay,” Lance agrees. “Let’s explore.”

They walk into the market a few minutes later and Lance’s eyes are wide as he looks around all the trinkets and types of fruits and plants inside. He’s drawn to a blue flower and he touches it lightly with his fingertip, grinning when it starts to glow softly. He reads the small description next to the flower and really wishes he had thought about bringing along money so he could buy some things. He makes a note to stop by on the planet again on his way home but it’s not necessary because the pretty alien behind the counter leans forward and her long hair falls over her shoulder.

“Do you like it, Red Paladin?” she asks and picks up the pot. “This is a very special plant in our planet. It only reacts to people with a good aura. By the way it glowed under your touch I can tell you’re a very commendable person.”

“Ah,” Lance says quietly, a blush on his cheeks at her compliment. “T-thanks. It’s very lovely.”

“Then it’s yours,” she says and loops a string over two holes on the pot, she tugs on it to make sure it’s secure before leaning forward again to hand it to Lance. “Take good care of it. All it really needs is some sunshine, water, and your touch.”

“Oh, I really couldn’t take it just like that,” Lance starts to shake his head but she presses the string into his hand and closes his fingers over it herself.

“It’s the least _we_ can do for all you’ve done,” she says, winking at him before she turns to another customer. 

“That’s pretty,” Keith comments when Lance joins him over on the next booth, he has a bag of what look like roasted peanuts on his hand and Lance steals one out of the bag and pops it in his mouth, eyes widening at the sweet taste of it. “Yeah, they’re good right?”

“Really good,” Lance says and takes another. “Do you come into the markets because you get freebies?”

Keith blinks at Lance’s narrowed eyes and then he’s snorting, shaking his head.

“Not really,” Keith says. “We always give them something back in return if we can but people do like gifting stuff to the paladins. It’s important to know when to say yes or no, or when you have to give something in return. Did you get that flower for free?”

“Yeah,” Lance pouts. “I really didn’t know how to stop it, it just happened.”

“Here,” Keith reaches into his pocket and pulls out a chocolate bar from Earth. “Give them this in return.”

“Chocolate?” Lance asks with a raised eyebrow.

“The least you can do,” Keith shrugs and Lance smiles but turns back to the booth and hands the bar to the girl behind, explaining what it is. She gives him a sweet smile and peels open the wrapper, taking a bite, her ears flicking at the taste.

When Lance goes back to Keith he’s moved on to a different booth. They both lean in closer to peer at the small fish like creatures swimming back and forth on a giant tank. They seem to be pets because on the booth next door someone is selling large fish bowls with decorations. They keep walking down the busy space, Lance pulling up his plant to hold it close to his chest and it glows like crazy when he does, earning him some smiles from passerby’s. 

They stop at a stall full of mountains of books and Lance watches Keith as the latter excitedly starts to flick through the small piles, looking at the titles and the inside description before he’s setting them down and picking up others. The covers don’t really give much away, and Lance barely has a good enough grasp on the Galran language to read some of the titles but they don’t tell him much about the book. He sees Keith place three to the side and looks at the covers as he hands them over to the man behind the counter. 

“You like romance novels?” he asks when Keith takes the bag after exchanging some coins.

“Oh,” Keith laughs, his cheeks pink again. “Yeah. I think they’re sweet. It’s nice to just get lost in a love story once in a while, you know?”

“Totally,” Lance nods. “I love romantic comedy movies even though pretty much everyone at home hates them.”

“I’d watch those with you,” Keith laughs.

Lance gets it a little bit more now, he understands Keith a little bit more every day. When the thought comes to him he can’t help but let it linger and take form because it’s true that he’s one of the only ones that has seen the real Keith. It’s true that he has a part in bringing that out of his friend. He does things now that he has never expected Keith would do in the past, he dances with them, laughs at their jokes, participates in everything they do, and talks back with all the sassines he has always been capable of. 

He likes romantic things like books and classical music but Lance has also seen him playing silly games on his phone with as much concentration as when he’s in the middle of a battle. He cares about his friends, he cares about Lance, he does his best to comfort them and make them feel better when they’re low the way a leader is supposed to. He’s a good little brother to Shiro, a great son to Krolia, and an amazing best friend to Lance. 

Lance goes with his gut feeling, indulges himself and hooks his arm through Keith’s as they turn to walk away, deeper into the market. Keith only falters for a second before he’s walking at the same pace as Lance is, his smile small and sweet. 

 

When they go back into the lions they’re loaded up with a few bags of various objects gifted to them. They only accepted when it was some type of food but not if it was anything that looked like jewelry or expensive. Lance packs it all up nicely on the Red lion’s cargo, making sure it doesn’t jostle and he takes his glowing plant to the control panel with him. He sets it carefully on a corner, braces it with his backpack of spare clothing and sits back down on his chair. Keith appears on his screen again once he’s settled and Lance pulls up the coordinates again, leaning back when Red takes off into space again. 

“Are we going to make more stops like this?” Lance asks, chewing on one of those sweet peanut like snacks. 

“We probably will make one more,” Keith answers, he’s flicking through the pages of one of his books and turns to grab a different one, settling back on his own chair as he opens the book to the first page. “Wanna hang up or keep the line on?” 

“Let’s keep it on,” Lance says. “Feels lonely if it’s off, I think.”

“Mood,” Keith mumbles and Lance grins like he does every time he hears Keith use any type of slang.

They’re quiet while they focus on their own things. Lance takes the time to type out a few messages to his family’s group chat and he sends them the pictures he’s taken so far. He shoots Hunk a message about where he’s going and tells him if he can drop by that would be cool. He then answers a few texts from Matt asking him which white he should pick for the centerpieces of his wedding and Lance tells him _it’s obviously the one on the right, also shouldn’t you be asking your gf all this stuff???_ Matt answers back with a string of emoji’s sticking out their tongue and _i trust ur opinion during dis stressfl times_. 

He glances up when he puts away his phone and smiles when he sees Keith mouthing along the words as he reads, his facial expressions shifting and Lance can’t help but think he might be acting out the characters words to himself. His expression shifts from shy to passionate to angry to soft so many times and Lance doesn’t realize how long he’s looked at Keith until the latter stops suddenly and turns his head to the side as he yawns.

It snaps Lance out of his trance and he yawns as well, sniffling once and pushing himself up on his arms, shaking out the feeling fluttering up and down his arms. Keith is looking at him, rubbing one of his eyes when Lance glances back and he shakes his head a few times quickly. 

“Sleepy?” Keith asks and Lance nods. “Me too. Are you going to sleep there or under?”

“Under, maybe?” Lance says quietly. “I brought a blanket.”

“Me too,” Keith grins and shakes his hair out of the ponytail he was wearing. His hair falls down in soft waves and Lance bites his lips when he hears the pop of Keith’s neck as he turns his head from side to side. “Goodnight, Lance.”

“Goodnight,” Lance mumbles, covering his face as the screen goes off.

He tosses and turns as he tries to fall asleep to no avail. His mind can’t stop running, his body still aches as it tries to get used to the shift in gravity. That’s easy to ignore though, the way it was the first and second time they went to space. What’s not easy to ignore are the new thoughts rolling in his mind about Keith.

He likes romance novels. He laughs while he reads. He acts out the scenes in his mind, he delves into their characters, probably has voices for them and gets involved in their personalities and interests.

 _(Youuuuu liiiike him)_ Red singsongs in his head and Lance rolls his eyes but he smiles anyway. It’s getting easier and easier to admit that he does to himself. He wonders if it would be easy to admit it to Keith as well. The thought makes his stomach plunge and he covers his face and rolls to his side with a groan.

“I do,” he mumbles into his hands, voice muffled.

_(I knew it)_

They make another stop on a rainy planet. The water is cool on Lance’s skin when he steps outside and he takes a deep breath. Rain smells different everywhere they go but it’s still a smell Lance recognizes as rain. It’s weird, but it makes him feel comforted even so far away from home.

Keith stands next to him, his hair down today and he scratches at the scab on his chin and Lance reaches up to grab his hand to stop him from doing it. He holds tight to Keith’s fingers and clicks his tongue, shaking his head.

“Don’t do that, it’ll scar,” he says, uses his other hand to smooth out Keith’s scab back in place, forcing down the corner he had raised up.

“Okay,” Keith mumbles, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

Lance pulls him along down to the shop they had seen on the map and only let’s go of Keith’s fingers once they’re inside. They walk straight to the snacks and drinks, pick up what they each want and stand outside the bathroom in line before they pay and make their way out. 

Lance can see Keith hesitating from the corner of his eye, he grins when Keith hooks his arm with Lance’s and they stroll back to the lions slowly, without a care, their blade suits drenched with that cool water.

They sit under the cover of their lions and dig into the food, trading chips and stealing sips of each others drinks. This is so easy, so much easier than it had ever been to share his space with anyone else. Lance is overcome with the urge to cuddle into Keith’s side, longs for a kiss pressed to the top of his head.

It’s almost like Keith reads his mind because he suddenly feels his cheek pressed to the top of Lance’s head. The weight is nice, Lance bows his head slightly, scoots in closer.

_(Cute.)_

Something is changing between them, it’s clear as the water from the small lake Keith had taken him to. Lance doesn’t know if the feelings are mutual but for the first time he thinks there’s a good chance that they are. There’s a good chance that they could be. He has to admit that that excites him, sends a crazy swarm of bees swirling in his belly. 

He thinks about it too hard on the final leg of the trip inside Red. Keith is knocked out today on his pilot chair like he also didn’t get any sleep the night before. He looks younger like this, limbs sprawled, mouth open, hair hanging loosely over his eyes. 

He’s too beautiful. It’s unbearable.

He’s beautiful in a different way than Allura is. Allura has soft skin, crazy colorful eyes that make her look like starlight each time she blinks. Her hair is long and thick and white, she moves with grace, seems to have her own personal sunshine that keeps her skin dark and beautiful. 

Keith is different.

He looks fierce but has the softest smile, his hair grows longer each time Lance sees him. His eyes are dark, almost purple, they smolder. His lashes are long and fan his cheeks each time he blinks. He has pale skin that looks like cream. His shoulders are wide, his hands just a tad more smaller than Lance’s. He’s perfect in his own way.

Lance is too caught up in his thoughts that he shrieks when a bright light appears on top of Keith and suddenly Keith is falling off his chair with a shout. Kosmo barks and Lance sees their tail wagging excitedly. Keith lets out a growl and then he’s laughing.

“Good wolf,” he hears Keith’s voice, sees him pop up suddenly when he sits up. “You scared me.”

“And me,” Lance calls out and has his hand pressed to his heart. “Oof.”

“Sorry,” Keith calls out and Kosmo howls. “We’re here, though.”

Lance looks to the side, makes the screen Keith is on smaller and he peers into the planet. It’s a soft orange from this far. Some of the buildings are still standing but most are rubble. There’s bright blue bodies of water, pink clouds swirling in parts of the sky. He can see people moving around and the ships from the Blade parked in various parts of the planet. When they get closer people start pointing up at them, jumping excitedly. Lance sees Veronica with her sleeves rolled up as she carries a box with some round green balls on them. They almost look like apples. He notes _she_ doesn’t have to wear a Blade suite.

They land the lions where Keith points out and Lance takes a few deep breaths before he steps out. There’s music playing near him, the sound of children’s laughter, the air is warm but it’s not stuffy. He leans to the side with a huff when he feels Kosmo knock to the side of his legs and crouches down to ruffle their ears.

“Hey, baby,” he says, bumping their foreheads together when Kosmo licks his face.

“Come on,” Keith motions when Lance stands. “Let me show you around.”

Keith is somewhat of a local hero to the beings of this world. Their skin looks like dry and cracked sand but they’re surprisingly soft to the touch. They all give smiles and excited waves to Keith that he returns as he shows Lance where the kitchens are and the line where people go to when it’s time to eat. He shows him what looks like a giant play pen with all the children inside, some playing and others studying There’s a lot of people injured around. 

“We got here in the nick of time,” Keith says. “Most of the non soldiers had been imprisoned, their rulers was about to be killed. They’re very grateful but we were just doing what was right. Now we’re trying to get them on their feet again. They’re very resilient and brave.”

Lance looks around and he can tell Keith is right. Everyone is helping, moving, making sure everything is running smoothly.

“I’m hoping you can help us with some medical care first but after teaching them how to grow food foreign to the planet would be great.”

“I think  can do that,” Lance tells Keith with a smile and a roll of his eyes. “Set me up somewhere, samurai. I’m ready to get my hands dirty.”

“Alright, sharpshooter, ease up,” Keith laughs, signals to some blade members walking by. “Set up a workspace for Lance in the medic tent. Do you need anything special, Lance?”

Lance blinks, taken aback by how smoothly Keith hands out orders. It’s probably why the Galra wanted him as a leader once. He shakes his head with a small smile that Keith returns.

“Nope,” he pops his lips. “If you need to go somewhere else it’s okay. I think I got this.”

Keith grins and waves at him, walking off and Lance can’t help but smile when he sees Ezor and Zethrid ambush him almost immediately. He shoves back at them and Ezor jumps on Zethird’s back as they follow Keith, talking excitedly. 

The jealousy that was there just a few months ago is gone now. Instead the fact that Keith has friends that will pester him even in space is comforting. He takes a seat behind the desk they bring him and he pulls out supplies from the drawers, putting on fresh gloves and smiling at the mother and child that come in first. He’s not a doctor so he can’t treat an illness but he knows enough to realize the child has a dislocated shoulder. He introduces himself and just like that he starts to work.

He helps most of the people that come into the tent. Most, he’s relieved to find, only have small injuries that will heal quickly. Some he refers to the actual doctors. When the sun starts to set and Lance walks over to the general direction of the line as dinner is announced he sees Keith. He’s on the floor surrounded by kids as sweaty as he is and Lance walks over with his arms crossed.

“Hey, Lance,” Keith grins at him and Lance smiles at the kids clinging to his neck. “What’s up.”

“What have _you_ been up to?” Lance asks instead, tone accusing.

“Playing soccer?” Keith asks and Lance snorts, sits next to Keith.

“So the boss gets to play, huh?”

“Keeping people happy is also part of the job,” Keith sticks out his tongue.

The kids walk off one by one as their parents call them, leaving them alone. Ezor comes by with plates for them, her smile pretty as she waves at Lance shyly. They sit in silence as they eat, Lance wrinkling his nose as he tries to get used to the taste of space food again.

“How was your day?” Keith asks.

“Pretty good,” Lance covers his mouth as he yawns. “I helped a lot of people.”

They’re quiet again and Lance rest his hands down on each side of himself. He leans on them and bites his lips, words bubbling up his throat.

“I did miss it.”

“Mhm?”

“All of this. Helping people, doing something, fighting back. I knew I did. I was just scared. But… I’m not anymore. I guess I should thank you for giving me that push.”

“Oh,” Keith pauses but then he’s smiling, his hand falls on top of Lance’s and Lance swallows once, turns his palm slowly so their fingers link together. “I shouldn’t have been pushy but… you’re welcome anyway.”

Their eyes are locked together and Lance is overly aware of the fact that they’re holding hands right now. He really hopes his hand doesn’t start sweating because suddenly his heart is beating like crazy, his cheeks and neck feel warm and he really hopes that it just looks like the dirt is reflecting on his skin because he doesn’t know how he’ll explain that one to Keith if the latter teases him about it.

“Lance,” Keith starts but suddenly they’re being pulled apart as a weight drops on Lance and he falls on his side. 

“Hey, loser,” he hears Veronica’s voice right next to his ear and shrieks when he feels her pull at his hair. 

“Stop!” Lance shouts.

“What are you gonna do when mami isn’t here?!” Veronica shouts back and she’s laughing.

She bites his cheek and Lance cackles nervously, finally shoving Veronica off and she snorts at him, kicking at his back.

“What are you doing here?” Veronica asks.

“I’m helping Keith,” Lance grumbles, drying his cheek with his coat sleeve. Keith is laughing quietly next to them and Lance huffs. _Way to ruin the mood, Ronnie. At least Rachel knows how to read a room._

“Hey Keithberth,” Veronica says and Lance snickers at the name and Keith’s reaction to it. “You were gone for a long time.”

“I was busy,” Keith shrugs, turning back to his place again, grabbing more of the rice like mush with his fingers and popping it into his mouth. “You guys seem to have handled yourselves quite well.”

“Yeah,” Veronica grins. “Acxa really picked up for your slack.”

“Acxa can’t even walk straight when you’re around so now I know you’re lying,” Keith quips back.

“Ha, yeah,” Veronica smirks and Lance wrinkles his nose, gagging.

“Gross,” he grumbles.

“Jokes aside,” Veronica says suddenly. “I’m glad you’re here, Lance. I was starting to get a little homesick. Where are you going to be staying?”

“At…” Lance trails off, furrowing his brows. “Actually, I don’t know. I guess in Red’s cargo room like always.”

“Mhm,” Veronica hums. “Keith has a tent.”

“I do,” Keith nods. “You can stay with me if you want.”

“Okay,” Lance smiles, nods and gets up with his empty plate. “Where does this go?” 

“I’ll show you,” Keith grins and Veronica wanders away, waving at Lance before she’s disappearing in the crowd.

Keith jumps to his feet in one smooth motion and grabs the plate Lance was holding, stacking it up with his own. He nudges Lance’s shoulder as he walks just a little bit ahead of him, enough that Lance has the chance to catch up to him so they’re walking side by side.

“We leave the plates over here,” Keith says, pointing at a large tub with soapy water and he slides in the plates carefully. “We tried enforcing an everyone cleans their own plate rule but some people were skipping out so now a group of people take care of it every night. It rotates.”

“Even in space no one likes washing the dishes,” Lance hums, nodding his head. “I always did my best to get out of it.”

“I don’t think I minded that much,” Keith mumbles, scratching at his bottom lip.

“Uh, well duh, you only had to clean dishes for like three people. There’s almost ten people at my house!”

“You make a point.”

Lance hesitates for a moment before he’s reaching over and grabbing on to Keith’s wrist, leaning close until their arms are pressed together. Keith doesn’t falter in his steps, nudges closer to Lance instead and Lance laughs, bows his head down to press his forehead against Keith’s shoulder. He realizes the touch is intimate but even if it risks exposing his feelings Lance can’t bring himself to care. He won’t burden Keith but nothing is really stopping him from indulging just a little bit.

If he told Keith that it was just something best friends did he knows that Keith would believe him without a second thought and would probably even get all giddy about it and ask Lance for more details. He’s warm under the Marmoran suit, he looks like a formidable leader and Lance thinks he’s one of the few people who know the real Keith.

“I usually set up my tent close to Black, just in case I have to jump in quickly if there’s an attack,” Keith tells him and Lance nods as they approach the lions. Their usual barries are down so Lance figures that they know they’re not in enemy territory. Just a few feet away Lance easily spots Keith’s tent. It’s big enough for the two of them, so Lance excuses himself, drops his hold on Keith’s wrist and runs his fingertips over the gloved covered hands as he walks away. 

He goes inside of Red’s hangar and grabs his pack with clothes and toiletries, going to his control room to grab the plant he was gifted carefully. He touches the leaves gently and it begins to glow happily again. He grabs a water pack from the mini fridge inside and heads out again. Once he’s outside he carefully sets his plant down on the outside of the tent, watering it carefully and stopping when it feels right.

Lance crawls inside and he finds Keith there, already lounging in more comfortable clothes, his head on a pillow and one leg crossed over the other as he lays flat. He’s scrolling through his phone but looks up when Lance comes in with a smile.

“It’s weird to not immediately call you when I get in for the night,” he says and Lance grins. “I was about to do it and then I remembered you’re here so I don’t have to.”

“At least we didn’t spend the day together and get to tell each other all about it?” Lance asks, settling down and pulling at the marmora suit, peeling it off his body and quickly pulling on a shirt once his chest is exposed.

“That’s a plus,” Keith nods, set his phone to the side and stretches. Lance catches a glimpse of the skin on his belly when he does so and he feels the tip of his ears heat. He pulls on some loose sweatpants after and falls back next to Keith on his own pillow with a content sigh.

“Long day?”

“Yep,” Lance pops his lips and curls into himself as he turns around to face Keith. “But I feel good. I helped out with a lot of scrapes and some dislocated limbs.”

“Some as in more than one?” Keith’s eyes are wide, his mouth curling slightly in shock.

“Yeah, dude. You really should have looked for more help a little bit sooner. I sent them to the actual doctor after setting them but I think everyone will make speedy recoveries.” 

Keith nods and then he’s turning over on his side as well, his head leveled with Lances, cheek cushioned against his own pillow. His hair is down now, the ponytail and humidity of the planet have curled it and Lance reaches over to tuck it behind his ear the way he’s wanted to so many times during their video chats. Keith blinks slowly and smiles at him, turning his head a bit into the pillow so half of his smile is hidden. Lance is slow to pull back his hand, curling his fingers and pressing them against his chest when he does. He wishes he could keep that warmth there forever.

“Was it fun?” Keith asks softly and Lance nods, sliding his legs under the blanket. “I’m glad.”

Lance watches Keith fall asleep, his eyes slowly blinking as well until it takes him longer and longer to open them. The planet cools down considerably during the night so he tugs the blanket up to his chin, hand moving forward to find Keith’s as he sleeps. He hooks his pinky carefully with Keith’s and finally caves as his eyes shut once more, fast asleep in only seconds.

 

Lance gets to work on showing people how to farm the next day. He meets up with most of the farmers that survived the attack, gets their help unloading the supplies his brothers packed up for him, and pushes the sleeves of his shirt back. He insisted to Keith that for this he was going to need his own clothes and not the marmora suit. Keith had grumbled at that but agreed anyway, shaking his head when Lance smugly stuck his tongue out at him.

“The conditions on this planet aren’t far off from the ones in mine,” Lance tells them as they all work on the soil methodically, digging until it’s soft and moist. “I have a chart on how much water some need, when it’s time to harvest, and even a book of recipes you can all try. Potatoes are my favorite but I try not to eat too many. I can’t take it as well as I did in the past.”

He makes easy conversation with most of the people hanging around him learning, shows the newcomers with a bit more care, pleased at the fact that this planet continues to show their passion for survival. Keith checks on him during the day a few times, brings Lance water and snacks, leans close to his personal space whenever he says something and Lance is grateful he’s already flushed from the heat so it’s not obvious he’s melting under his gaze.

At night there’s a celebration. Keith dresses down from his armor into his usual black shirt and jeans outfit and Lance puts on a fresh pair of jeans and a white cotton shirt. They walk together to the giant bonfire, there’s music playing, food and drinks being passed around. The children are roasting what look like marshmallows on the fire. He spots Veronica with Acxa cuddled up on a corner and he sighs a little when he recognizes that tinge of jealously at how easy his sister has it.

Keith grabs them food and they find a log to sit on. There’s people dancing on an open space to the side and Lance keeps glancing back a little bit too eagerly. Every time he turns back to listen to what Keith is saying he finds Keith’s gaze flickering between Lance and the makeshift dance floor. The people of this planet are beautiful at night. The markings that looked like cracks on their skin glow different colors for each person, make the atmosphere soft. 

“Do you… um…” Keith mumbles and Lance turns to him with his head tilted, watching as Keith struggles. “Do you… want to dance?”

“Dance?” Lance asks, leaning forward.

“Uh… yeah,” Keith mutters. “With… with me.”

“Dude…” 

“Or not, whatever.”

“No!” Lance shouts when Keith immediately starts to close off. “I mean! Yes! I want to.” 

Lance grabs his hand, pulls on it and Keith turns back to him with narrowed eyes but he sees the sincerity in Lance quickly because he stands up when Lance does and they walk to the dance floor together. A slow song is playing but Lance doesn’t feel discouraged. He grabs both of Keith’s hands and pulls them up around his neck, resting his own against Keith’s hips, one hand sliding back to hold the small of his back. Keith looks up at him under his lashes and Lance can tell he feels nervous so he steps closer until he can press Keith’s cheek against his neck. Keith tenses for a moment but then he’s relaxing into the position, his arms moving to fit more snugly around Lance. 

“Okay,” Lance says, lets out a slow breath. “Just take small steps, alright? You’ll get the hang of it.”

They hadn’t danced like this back at the celebration in the Garrison. There it had been flailing limbs, jumping, pushing each other, Lance showing off and twerking his ass at any of his friends who got too close. It was laughing and just leaning over each other as they tried to catch their breaths. 

Now it’s holding each other closer, Keith’s cheek pressed against his skin, Lance’s eyes not closed but looking down at Keith’s hair tied in that loose ponytail again, holding him just a little bit tighter when they stumble until they have the right pace going. Once they do, Lance rests his head on top of Keith’s, biting his lip. He catches sight of Veronica off to the side, she’s sipping on a drink and has a knowing smirk on her lips, her eyes half lidded and looking over her glasses. She turns away when Lance sticks out his tongue at her and he swears he feels Keith cuddle in closer to him.

“This is nice,” Keith sighs as one slow song melts into another. 

“Yeah,” Lance laughs quietly, nods his head and nuzzles into Keith’s hair with a hum. “It really is.”

Keith pulls back and Lance leans back a little bit, blinking at Keith as the latter presses his forehead against Lance’s. His eyes are narrowed and Lance raises an eyebrow, making a soft squeak when Keith leans closer and their noses brush together. He purses his lips nervously but Keith pulls away and turns so his chin is resting on Lance’s other shoulder. His heart is beating painfully quick, the air has run out of his lungs, he’s holding on to Keith a little bit tighter because he feels woozy and lovestruck.

He tries to focus, find out if Keith’s pulse is going just as crazy as his own but he can’t feel anything over his own. Keith pulls back one of his arms from around Lance’s neck and rests it on his shoulder instead, curls his fingers into the fabric of his white shirt. 

When this song ends there’s a pause before a faster tune picks up. Keith pulls back and he’s wearing a small smile that looks smug but Lance can’t focus on it too much because he’s still trying to get enough air into his lungs, still trying to hear anything past the rush of his heartbeat in his ears. 

“I think I’ll call it a night now,” Keith says, his arms sliding away from Lance and he takes a single step back. “You should mingle around some more. Get to know everyone.”

Lance nods dumbly, still trying to focus on anything that’s not Keith. He watches as Keith starts to walk away and is ambushed by Zethrid, Ezor, and Acxa this time. They’re all crowding in front of him, Ezor holding her clasped hands up to her cheek and swooning to the side. Zethrid shoves Keith’s shoulder hard enough to make him stumble and Acxa holds him up, pushing him back to his feet. Keith doesn’t even seem bothered, he laughs and purses his lips shut, turning so he’s walking backwards and making a motion as if he’s zipping his lips shut. He catches Lance’s gaze again and turns around, hands coming up to cover his cheeks.

 

Lance is carefully sorting the seeds into a box when he feels a hand drop on his shoulder and he jumps, glances at the hand and clenches his teeth when he recognizes Veronica’s nails. She rounds him and sits in front of the box as Lance keeps sorting through the seeds.

“You like him,” she says after a long silence.

“Who?” Lance asks.

“Keith.”

“Prove it,” he says without missing a beat.

“I don’t have to, everyone can tell.”

“Prove it.”

“Are you two dating?”

“He’s my best friend.”

“Best friends don’t really cuddle up together on the dancefloor and give each other smitten looks,” Veronica says and Lance rolls his eyes.

“Well, we don’t exactly follow the rules,” Lance says. “Bonds forged in space are different.”

“What are you scared of?” Veronica asks.

“You know, I think I’d rather talk to Rachel about this,” Lance says, stops the quick movement of his fingers and looks at Veronica with a shake of his head.

“Ouch,” Veronica huffs and pokes her finger into one of the boxes separators.

“Sorry,” Lance sighs. “I kind of feel like you’re attacking me right now.”

“It’s just that I know you too, Lance. You’re the type of person that goes straight for what you want. You don’t hesitate, you take it. You’ve worked so hard since you were little. I’m sure you took every chance you could get with the princess too. What’s different with Keith? What are you afraid of?”

“Mom and dad don’t even know that I…” Lance trails off with a sigh, rubbing his arm.

“What?”

“That I’m bi,” Lance huffs, lets out a long sigh.

“Are you afraid they would disown you or something?” Veronica’s voice is soft now. “You know they wouldn’t. They didn’t to me. They just want us to be happy Lance. I know every journey is different but if our family is what’s holding you back you have to know that we will love you no matter what. All we want is to see you shine even more than you already are. I don’t want to get sappy but I know Keith is responsible for helping you find yourself again. A partner like that… well, they only come around once in a lifetime, you know?”

“Sometimes… it’s easier for changes to be accepted from girls, ones like this anyway,” Lance mumbles. “You don’t have to carry onward the family legacy.”

“Thats a silly thing to worry about when you have two brothers,” Veronica murmurs. “Not only that but you can totally have your own kids too. There’s ways, and you never know there might be some crazy alien technology we don’t know about that can make it happen. Grow a little baby inside a little pod or something.”

“You’re funny,” Lance tells her, shaking his head. “You really think it’s enough with Marco and Luis? Mom and dad won’t be mad if they gain one more son instead of a daughter?” 

“I think I got the daughter part covered,” Veronica smiles and leans over to pinch both of Lance’s cheeks. 

“Guess you do,” Lance grins, pushing her hand away and rubbing his sore cheeks. “I’ll think about it. I still don’t know how I feel, really.”

“So you don’t like him?”

“No… I do… I just don’t know if I want to do anything about it.”

“Once in a lifetime, Lance. Just remember that.”

It doesn’t put a damper in his mood but it does slow him down considerably from the quick shifting he had been doing before between the mixed up seeds. He takes a seat on the chair behind him, rests his elbow on the table and his cheek on his hand as he flicks each one into their own containers. 

“Once in a life time,” he mumbles quietly to himself, biting his lip. 

He can’t deny there’s that longing in him. One that has his heart fluttering whenever he thinks too much about it, one that makes him shiver and cradle his head as he tries to come down from the clouds again. He wants Keith. He wants every moment they have now and more. He wants to move past only being there for each other to _being there for each other_. He’s never been one to put more value into his romantic endeavours than his friendships but with Keith it would be _both_. 

Keith already knows how to support him as a friend. Lance is sure he would only be better as a boyfriend. The word makes him grin and he drops his head on the table, forehead smacking against the flat surface but he doesn’t feel it. He bites his lip and shuts his eyes tightly. It’s easy to imagine. He wants it. Veronica was right, he’s always fought for everything he’s ever wanted, has earned every one of his accomplishments. 

He hits his forehead on the surface of the table again, let’s out a whine, his head finally thudding uncomfortably with a headache. He’s too tired and the pleasant warmth of the planet suddenly feels sweltering hot. He pulls his head back up and on his way down and opens his eyes when he doesn’t feel the light impact on the table. 

Instead it’s cushioned by a glove covered palm. Lance looks up and finds Keith looking down at him with his lips pursed out in concern, his brows furrowed. He crouched down to Lance’s eye level and keeps his hand against the spot he had covered. 

“Hey,” he says and his voice is soft and perfect. “Need a break?”

“Please,” Lance nods and Keith laughs, holding up what looks like a picnic basket.

“Good. Come have lunch with me,” he grins and stands, pulling Lance up by the hand, and they both link their fingers together with what seems like no thought at all. 

Their hands swing between them as they walk, Keith keeping up with Lance’s long strides easily. They find a hill to sit on, under the shade of what looks like a giant bush. Keith pulls out two water bottles and sandwiches from his basket, handing one of each to Lance. It feels like a date. It’s the only way Lance can describe it really. It seems like all they do is take walks and eat together but Lance is surprised to find that he doesn’t find it boring. Instead he’s treasuring these moments with Keith, holding close every joke he makes, every smile, every touch whether it’s intentional or not. 

It’s definitely intentional right now. 

They’re done eating and are sitting across from each other, Lance is trying to teach Keith how to play patty cake. Their hands keep fumbling and losing momentum when Keith does the wrong move and Lance grins at him as it happens again. 

“Guess I finally found the _one_ thing you’re bad at,” he sneers playfully at Keith who pouts at him and furrows his brows

“Again,” he practically growls and Lance laughs. 

“Calm down, buddy,” he says, starting up the game again, their hands slapping together. “Not everyone can be a patty cake genius like me.” 

The next time Keith gets it wrong he shouts in frustration and Lance laughs, holding his hand against his mouth to hide his grin. Keith looks at him and suddenly Lance is flat on his back with his wrists pinned down on either side of his head. He has enough sense to struggle for a moment but Keith is strong. He leans his face down close and Lance blinks, wetting his lips carefully and testing the grip on his wrists again. 

“Stop laughing at me,” Keith demands, his previously affronted look changing to one of mischief. 

“Or what?” Lance raises an eyebrow, tries to kick at Keith’s leg. 

“I’ll tickle you,” Keith says simply with a shrug and Lance gasps. 

“You wouldn’t.”

Keith shrugs and suddenly Lance finds himself braced between Keith’s knees as Keith sits up, straddling his stomach. He pulls Lance’s wrists over his head and Lance struggles when he realizes what’s happening but Keith must be making full use of his Galra muscles now because he easily holds Lance’s hands down with just one of his own. He pulls back his free hand, holding it out like he has claws and Lance has one second to shriek before Keith is attacking his armpits. He squirms under him, gasps for breath when Keith eases up before he’s tickling him again. 

“Keith!!” Lance shouts, twisting his torso to the side. “Haha..! Stop! Uncle, uncle!”

Keith stumbles to the side when Lance twists again and it’s enough for Lance to pull his hands free, he immediately starts to dig into Keith’s sides, looking for ticklish spots and grins when he finds them and it’s Keith’s turn to run out of breath between his giggles. He fights back against Lance, both of them practically cackling as they find each other’s most ticklish spots. Keith’s neck is particularly sensitive and he gets a few digs of Keith’s chin against his hand.

When they stop they’re kind of hugging each other. Keith is curled up against Lance’s chest, his face buried between his clavicle and pecs, he’s still catching his breath, his hair disheveled. Lance has a hand against his back, random spurts of laughter still slipping out of them. 

“Jerk,” Lance says quietly but doesn’t move away from Keith. 

“Sorry,” Keith chuckles. “You shouldn’t have challenged me.”

“I did not!” Lance shouts and then they’re splitting apart, giving each other twin unamused looks. 

They were only supposed to spend their lunch there but an hour melts into another. Kosmo shows up with dinner tied around his neck in the pack they used on their trip to Earth. Kosmo plops their head down on Lance’s lap and enjoy the scratches while Lance and Keith eat.

A lot of pivotal moments have happened during the sunset for them. Lance’s anxieties before his first date with Allura, the words Keith had spoken that started Lance’s realization about his feelings for Keith. The break up and Lance being torn up about it. Coming out to each other in the midst of his heartbreak.

There’s another sunset now and Lance wonders if this will be one of those moments again. When there’s enough light to see but not enough to beat the sun if they ran to their tent. Keith is lounging on his back, his arms under his head. He has one of his legs propped up, the other crossed over it and resting on his knee, shaking it from time to time.

Lance lays on his back too, biting his lip as their surroundings get darker and darker. The night sky is different in this planet. It has four moons and behind them there’s a swirl of stars and galaxies of every color Lance could possibly imagine them in. It’s different from the sky back at home but Lance doesn’t hate it. He turns his head to look at Keith, smiles when he sees his friend reaching upwards, his hands moving in a way that makes it feel like he’s tracing the stars, creating his own constellations. 

“Keith.”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

Keith laughs and shakes his head, turning to look at Lance. 

“No, I never have. Looking forward to it though, maybe one day. If it’s meant to happen.”

“What about a girlfriend?” Lance asks. “Before you knew you were gay or maybe when you were little in kindergarten?” 

“I don’t think so,” Keith mumbles quietly, sighing and looking back to the sky. “I lost my dad when I was really young. And mom left for space when I was only a few months old. I was passed around foster homes for years.”

“I didn’t know that…” Lance whispers but it makes sense if he thinks about it. He doesn’t see Keith as an orphan because he has his mom but before that Keith never talked about his dad, never talked about extended family or siblings. 

“I hadn’t told you,” Keith says and he’s scooting closer, his fingers finding Lance’s and they hold each other’s hands gently. “I was really sad about losing my dad, well that word doesn’t really cover the feeling but I was. Because I was a kid I couldn’t really mourn him the right way, no one helped me understand it, I didn’t have any other family to go to. Some foster families were very nice but there was always anger lingering in my heart and I would do something crazy or hit their child and be sent away. I tried running away many times but always got caught. Eventually I was placed in an orphanage, I think it was easier than trying to make things more merciful for me with a foster home. I found some stability there because I was ready for the climate. If I had to fight back kids I did it.

“Shiro was my saving grace. I stole his car the first time we met at my school. Maybe it sounds dumb that he still saw something worthwhile in me to chase me down but he did. The Garrison was annoying but still, it meant I got to see Shiro every day and that was pretty good.”

“But James would pick fights with you all the time,” Lance scrunches his face, narrows his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Keith laughs. “I think you might have wanted to pick fights with me all the time too.”

“Hey!” Lance laughs, turning so he throws his arm around Keith, scooting closer until they’re snuggling together. “You’re my best friend. I would _never_ fight you.” 

“Oh thank goodness,” Keith deadpans but Lance feels him return the embrace. “What ever would I do if my best friend fought me?”

Lance tips his head back just a bit so he can look at Keith, finding his best friend’s eyes on him already. He smiles and Keith smiles back, their faces only a few inches apart, and Lance can’t stop thinking about how easy it would be to lean forward and steal a kiss. 

“Did Shiro adopt you?” Lance asks instead

“Yeah,” Keith laughs. “Right before he left for Kerberos. Adam became my legal guardian too, they couldn’t really both adopt me because they weren’t married yet.” 

“It must have been really bad,” Lance whispers. “To be adopted and lose Shiro right away.”

“It was,” Keith lowers his voice as well, his lips pursing together. “Adam had an earful for me when we saw him again but… I don’t regret running away. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t. It might have been too late by the time you found Blue.” 

They’re quiet for a while, Lance scooting closer until Keith’s head is pillowed against his shoulder. He strokes the back of Keith’s shoulder gently, tracing random patterns against the fabric of his suit. His previously quickly beating heart has settled into a happy thump against his chest, the nerves he felt as soon as he leaned closer to embrace Keith subsided by the fact that the embrace is being reciprocated.

“Have you ever had a significant other besides Allura?” Keith asks. 

“Yeah,” Lance says and he feels Keith tense just a bit in his hold. “When I was a kid in school I had a girlfriend, we would trade cookies during lunchtime. In middle school I had another girlfriend for like a week… we did not talk to each other at all after agreeing to be together. It was so silly, but she said yes and then we ignored each other for a week and broke up with a passed note during English class.”

Keith’s shoulders shake as he laughs and he holds on just a little bit tighter to Lance. “What?” his voice is mixing with his wonderful laugh and Lance isn’t immune to it, nuzzling his nose into Keith’s hair. 

“Yeah,” he snorts. “At the Garrison there were a few girls too that said they wanted to date me and then changed their mind the next day. Can’t say I got to enjoy any of that much.”

“That’s crazy,” Keith mumbles. “You’re a total catch.” 

Lance blinks, bites on his tongue to hold back any delighted sounds he wants to make at _that_ comment and instead shakes his head.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he tells Keith once he sure his voice won’t shake.

 

“Not like I didn’t know already,” Rachel starts as Lance digs out the roots of strawberries carefully, moving them from the pot to the soil. “But when were you going to tell me you have the biggest crush on Keith?” 

“Pfft,” Lance laughs, wiping sweat from his brow and patting the soil gently around the sprout. “What? Hahaha…”

“Veronica told me you totally burned her, kudos to that, and then denied your massive crush on Keith for your whole conversation.”

“It went from biggest to massive that quick, huh?” Lance mutters, moving on to the next potted strawberry plant. “Also I admitted to it eventually.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

He’s quiet, sits down on hard ground that still needs to be worked. The earpiece he has on to talk to Rachel suddenly feels heavy. 

“I want to,” he says, rubbing his knee with a sigh. “I really want to.”

“You should,” Rachel says and Lance can hear her smile. “I think he likes you too. You guys act like a married couple.”

“Do not,” Lance frowns, placing another strawberry sprout on its own section. 

“Sure Mr. I-Cuddle-With-Keith-On-A-Daily-Basis-Probably.”

“That was extra, Rach.”

“Your face is extra. Extra ugly.”

“We’re twins so that means yours is too,” Lance snorts and Rachel shouts, defeated. 

“Can I be there when you confess?” Rachel asks and Lance groans, rolling his eyes. 

“No, Rachel, you can’t,” Lance deadpans and glances to the side, eyes scanning the field for any sight of Keith. 

“But we used to do everything together, remember?” Rachel continues and Lance can just picture her leaning over to paint her toes, her tongue sticking out, eyes into serious slits that convince everyone she’s being for real.

“We gotta grow up and apart sometimes little Rach,” Lance continues, standing up when he’s moved the final strawberry sprout. 

“If you say so, Lancey Lance,” Rachel singsongs. “Are you coming home soon?”

“I think we got two more weeks here,” Lance says, pulling off his gloves and finally scratching that itch on his nose. “Why, you miss me?”

“Not really,” Rachel hums. “But I have to pick up the slack for some of your chores and your chores are haaard, why did you pick like the worst things to take care of?”

“I mean, I started it,” Lance pulls out his phone, flicks through the screen before moving back to the call. “I should take care of all the harder things, don’t you think?”

“Being self sufficient is haaard,” Rachel whines. 

“Rachel,” Lance sighs. “You know we’re lucky right? There’s a reason we mass produce it and give what we don’t need away to people.”

“You’re too good, dude,” Rachel sighs. “I would have just relied heavily on papi.”

“Slap Marco for me, I gotta go,” Lance says. 

“You got it.”

He touches the earpiece and hangs up, runs up to where he sees Zethrid and Ezor hanging out with Keith. When they see him they get what Lance can only describe as shit eating grins. Ezor leans forward when Lance gets close enough and flutters her one eye at him making Lance grin nervously.

“Hey, Blue Paladin,” she says, her voice flirty and soft and he sees Zethrid bristle next to her. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Hey,” Lance laughs, rubbing his cheek to stop it from blushing with nerves. “I’ve been back on Earth.”

“We know,” they both say and Lance snorts when Keith groans.

“Taking a break?” he asks Lance, there’s sweat on his forehead, making the baby hairs that frame his head stick to his skin. 

“Yeah,” Lance nods, pulling out a blotting sheet from his pocket, patting it gently against Keith’s skin. “You’re all sweaty, dude.”

“Thanks,” Keith grins at him and Lance narrows his eyes, trying to ignore the way his heart picks up speed at the sight of Keith’s smile. 

“Keith is always talking about you,” Zethrid says and Keith’s eyes flash behind Lance, _his_ eyes narrowing this time.

“That’s not subtle, babe,” Lance hears Ezor whisper and under it her snickering.

“Oh…” Zethrid pauses and then she clears her throat. “How are your cows?”

“Oh my god,” Keith mutters and Lance pulls away his hand, turns to look at Zethrid with a snort.

“They’re doing okay,” Lance answers.

“Yes,” Zethrid continues. “Keith has told us all about your cows and you. It’s all he can talk about, Lance and his cows.”

He hears Ezor snicker again and Lance can’t help it then, bursting into laughter, clutching his stomach as he turns to look at Keith with both eyebrows raised. Keith shakes his head, there’s a smile playing at the corner of his lips and Lance takes a deep breath.

“Why are you so worried about my cows, Keith?” Lance asks and Keith rolls his eyes. “I promise I’m a man of honor, I take care of them well.” 

“I’m sure you are,” Keith laughs, ruffling at the back of Lance’s hair playfully. 

“So does he know now? That Keith li-” Lance hears Zethrid say lowly and he turns in time to see Ezor covering her mouth, waving at them with her free hand. 

“They mean well,” Keith says next to Lance, fixing the sleeves of his marmora suit. He nudges Lance with his shoulder and Lance turns to him, clearing his throat.

“Sounded like they were trying to set us up,” Lance laughs, rubs his bottom lip with his thumb as he glances away.

“Oh, they were,” Keith says and Lance stiffens, turns his head back slowly to look at Keith.

“Huh?”

“They were.”

“Why?” Lance asks, eyes wide.

“Beats me,” Keith says after a long pause, looking like he was struggling to utter the words. He shakes his head a few times and his bangs move loosely with the movement. 

“Do they think you like me?” Lance asks, following Keith as the latter starts to walk away towards their tent. “Keith!”

“I don’t know!” Keith shouts back, his steps quickening.

“Are you embarrassed because you like me?”

“That’s dumb.”

Lance laughs as he dives in after Keith into the tent, crawling his way inside and finding Keith pressing a cold waterpack against his cheeks and forehead. Keith’s eyes dart to him and he’s biting his lip, nose wrinkling as he scrunches it. He looks away again and presses the waterpack more firmly against his skin. Lance scoots in until he’s sitting next to him, grabbing one of the clipboards Keith keeps around, fanning his face carefully. Keith gives him a grateful smile before he’s looking down at his lap, keeping the pack close to his cheeks.

“I was just kidding,” Lance says and Keith nods. “I’m sorry if I made you embarrassed.”

“You didn’t,” Keith says and sighs. “Okay, maybe a little but… I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“Why?” Lance asks, tilting his head.

“I don’t know if teasing like that makes you uncomfortable,” Keith says. “Ezor and the rest are just… I think they don’t like seeing me alone when they have ‘amazing love lives.’ Kind of silly but… they’re really just trying to be helpful.”

“Why did they pick me?” Lance laughs, rests a hand against Keith’s leg and Keith sighs with a shrug.

“I think they can tell that you mean a lot to me,” Keith says. “You’re my best friend.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Lance tells him and Keith looks up with a smile. “You’re my best friend too. They can tease us all they want, I’ll even play along if you want.”

“No,” Keith laughs, finally removing the cold water from his cheeks. “No need for that.”

Lance stops fanning his face and sets down the clipboard, letting his hands rest on his own lap. He feels a bit warm himself but he doesn’t say anything about it, purses his lips together with a soft hum. Keith takes long sips of his drink when he finally stabs the straw through it.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” Keith tells him seriously and Lance looks at him with a confused tilt of his head. “Really. I know you’re just helping with the agriculture right now but when we have our talks at night, when I tell you how my day is going, you give me all sorts of advice that helps me make better decisions. You say you’ve stopped being a paladin and my right hand but all this time, you’ve been helping me be better at what I have to do.”

“That’s not true,” Lance mutters, turning away embarrassed. “All we do is talk.”

“Yeah,” Keith says. “But in those talks you’ve showed me how to change my tone so people listen to what I say, made snarky comments about what I did that made me change or improve them. You’re not physically fighting next to me but your influence is here enough that it matters.” Keith taps his temple with his fingertip and Lance smiles when he sees Keith’s smile. “We make a good team.”

This time Lance lets that sink into his chest, nodding and bumping his fist against Keith’s lightly.

“Thanks, Keith.”

“Anytime, Lance.”

  
  
  
  
  


Two weeks later there are enough shelters built that every family on the planet has a home, enough materials for them to continue constructing more, enough food growing and enough in their reserves that Keith calls a meeting for the Blade. The faces of the mostly half-Galran around them are proud, grins etched and curving their lips upward. Keith has his hair tied back, his Marmoran suit glowing, and he stands proudly in the middle of it all with Lance by his side. Once he thought he flanked Keith but now he thinks they stand on even ground. 

Keith concludes his congratulatory speech with a dismissal for the next two weeks. “A break well earned,” Keith tells them and they all cheer, already splitting into their own groups to discuss what they’ll do with the time. A little bit of sadness lingers in Lance, however, as he thinks about what this means for him. Now he has to fly back home, get back to his usual chores, continue working on his school roster for next year. 

He has to go back to sleeping in his room, alone, and not in a cozy tent with Keith’s hair spilling over onto his pillow as well during the night. Has to go back to only seeing him on a screen every night instead of having him there in person. Back to not feeling his hand, palms pressed together as they hold hands. 

He’s thinking about it so much that he feels an ache tug and tug at his chest until he finally notices Keith peering at him, bending over at the waist so he can go low enough that he’s looking up at Lance who has his head bowed, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

“Wanna go exploring with me?” Keith asks and Lance swallows once. “We could go visit New Altea and other planets.”

“Yes,” Lance breathes out.

Lance strips off the Marmora suit with a relieved sigh. He stretches carefully and pops any joints that feel stiff before grabbing his clothes. Pulling on his jeans and a t-shirt is the best feeling in the world suddenly. Keith is out of his suit too and in one of his typical outfits. The leather jacket he’s wearing is worn out and soft like he bought it at a thrift store or it was handed down to him from his dad. Lance thinks he catches Keith eye him once or try but he decides quickly it must all be in his head when he can’t catch Keith sneaking a glance in at all. 

Their tent is packed up and all that’s left is to get out and make it fold in on itself. Kosmo is waiting outside, their tail probably wagging with excitement because Keith said they would be bringing him along this time. If the lions have enough sense to pilot themselves then that means Keith and Lance can hang out even as they’re traveling and don’t have to wait until they’re at their first stop. All they need is for Kosmo to beam them together.

Their first stop is in a planet shrouded in a soft darkness. There’s enough light that Keith and Lance adjust their sight after about half an hour. The people of this planet are sensitive to bright lights but their eyes glow amber and friendly. They find an outdoor food stand and sit down, try all the dishes, order drinks and slowly get tipsy together. Keith seems to hold his alcohol better than Lance does which is surprising because Lance can hold his own in his Cuban family. 

He’s tired when they stand up, sleepy and limbs feeling heavy and warm. Keith crouches in front of Lance without a word and Lance jumps on his back, wraps his arms around his neck and hitches his legs on either side of Keith’s hips. Keith holds him firmly, bows his head forward slightly when Lance rests his cheek against his neck and shoulder.

“That was so good,” Lance half slurs with sleep and drunkenness. “Sometimes I’m afraid to ask what certain foods are made of but damn, I want that recipe.”

“It was really good,” Keith hums and Lance can feel his breath against his chest, the shift of his muscles with his hands pressed against Keith’s shoulders.

“Being with you is better, though,” Lance says, his eyes heavy lidded and he can’t open them after he blinks again. The planet is cozy and Keith just makes it even cozier. He could sleep like this forever.

“I like being with you too,” Keith says quietly and Lance barely hears it, hums happily and turns his head, lips brushing against soft skin.

He’s not hungover when he wakes up. Keith calls him a few minutes after he’s up and asks Lance if he’s ready to move along, claiming Kosmo will be there with his breakfast shortly. It makes him feel cared after. 

They watch a weird movie on the next planet, chewing on popcorn that’s thankfully just plain old corn drenched with butter. They’re pressed close together as they watch, Keith’s head dropping to rest on Lance’s shoulder eventually. They snicker together, one earbud translating the words in each of their ears. The robotic speak makes them snort when a serious scene is happening and they hear it with no feeling. Lance wraps his arm around Keith’s shoulder and slumps further into his seat so they’re both more comfortable. 

They visit a bathhouse in a snow covered planet, soaking in the hot water. Lance gives Keith a facial, pushing his hair back from his forehead with a headband. Keith’s expression is completely smooth and relaxed as Lance massages his skin carefully. He helps him exfoliate it and then rubs a cool gel over it when they’re out of the bath. Keith admires his face in the mirror when they’re done and grudgingly says, “Alright, I see why you like doing this now. My skin has never felt softer.” Lance laughs and takes in Keith’s praise, fingers still tingling from all the touch. They dress in twin white robes and fall asleep facing each other on a queen bed, not saying anything when they wake up with their legs tangled together.

They share obnoxiously long embraces sometimes. Keith will step out of the Black Lion and take a look at Lance and suddenly his arms are full of Keith. He never hesitates to hold him back, letting Keith bury his face against his neck, just as touch starved as Keith is. His heart always thumps painfully in his chest, butterflies rushing in his stomach, making it swoop each time Keith squeezes him gently. 

They visit a planet with a beach so similar to the one in Cuba that Lance feels homesick for his patria, digging his toes into the sand. He slathers Keith with sunblock and Keith dutifully holds out his arms when Lance rubs them down with the creamy substance. They spend the afternoon splashing each other and swimming, drying under the sun and eating whatever snacks they can find. Lance teaches Kosmo how to play fetch and Keith looks betrayed when Kosmo plays along. They’re both a few shades darker when they make their way back into the lions, hands clasped together.

 _Are we dating?_ Lance asks himself as he paces his makeshift room on Red’s cargo room. _It sure feels like it. Like we’re going on a date every day. Like we can’t help but be close._ He brings his thumb up to his mouth and bites down on it gently, pressing his free palm against his cheek. _Should I tell him I like him? It might not be the best time…_

New Altea is their next stop and when Lance texted Allura they would be arriving soon she had sent three excited text messages and a fourth one with greetings from Coran and Romelle. Keith had been worried the night before as they sat together at a cafe, their faces tilted to one another, sure that their noses would brush together if Lance just leaned in a little bit more. Keith’s gaze had been soft, his eyebrows downturned as he stared at Lance, eyes searching his face for something.

“Are you going to be okay seeing Allura?” he asked quietly, his grip on the hot chocolate on his hands tight.

“I will,” Lance had laughed quietly, shaking his head. “I don’t know what it is but… I’m okay now. I care about her a lot, I love her but… it’s not like that anymore.”

“I’m looking forward to talking to her again, too,” Keith smiled, taking a sip of his drink again. 

Lance didn’t exactly know where their relationship was tethering but he was determined to not make Keith feel like he was competing if there was even a chance that Keith liked him back. If there was a chance that he too was looking for the perfect moment to admit to his feelings. He sighs and sinks down on his air mattress, grabbing his phone from its place under his pillow and smiling when he sees the goodnight text from Keith waiting on his screen. He shoots back a quick reply and lays down, pulling at the blanket until it’s tucked under his chin. 

Red has been uncharacteristically quiet and when Lance had asked him about it Red had said he didn’t want to influence Lance’s decisions about Keith. He could still feel Red’s support and excitement shimmering beneath the surface of his emotions though. Lance had to admit he was feeling the same type of giddiness too. He was holding close all the moments he had shared with Keith on their trip to New Altea. The lingering touches, the soft words in his ear during a movie, the feeling of their hands held together, the times they’ve shared a bed as they stayed overnight in a planet. 

 

“Lance! Keith!” Allura shouts as they get closer to the entrance of the castle. She’s wearing some type of armor, her long hair held back in a high ponytail. Romelle is next to her in a similar outfit and they both have sweat clinging to their skin. Lance waves, his smile wide as he grabs Keith’s hand and runs with him closer to them. “You’ve made it. It is so good to see you both.”

“Hey, Lura,” Lance grins, keeping his hold on Keith’s hand and turning to Romelle as well. “Romelle, it’s good to see you too.”

“Hey guys,” Romelle grins, her eyes twinkling as she leans forward on the tip of her toes. “Was it a long trip?”

“Any trip without the castle of lions is long,” Keith lets out a long sigh and Lance grins, nudging his shoulder with Keith’s, squeezing his hand. 

“Come inside,” Allura says, motioning into the castle. “Hunk arrived last night and he’s preparing lunch right now. Romelle and I were sparring a bit to build up our appetite.”

“Did it work?” Lance laughs, following after them with Keith trailing close behind him, their fingers twisting together. 

“Oh yeah,” Romelle giggles and they walk past guards and into the main hall, the ceilings are higher than Lance remembered them being in their old home. 

It looks so much like their castle of lions though, the same hum coming from the walls, the same lighting coming from them. Allura is talking about all the new features of the castle, turning back with a smile to look at Lance and Keith every once in a while. If she notices their hands held together she doesn’t say anything about it. She taps her chin sweetly and leads them into the dining room. Hunk is already there, setting down large platters of food around the table. The castle staff is helping him and he sighs in relief when he sees Romelle, waving her over so she can help too. 

“Keith!” Hunk shouts when he notices Keith and Keith waves with his free hand. “Come over here! Let me hug you, man.”

Keith turns to look at Lance with a small smile, his expression just a bit reluctant as he loosens his grip on Lance’s hand and they drop each other’s hold. He gives Lance a wink and then he’s walking over, curling his fingers, causing Lance to do the same. Allura tugs on his sleeve and Lance follows her over to the head of the table, pulling back her chair and then one for himself. 

Hunk has lifted Keith off the ground, squeezing him tight enough that Keith has his cheeks puffed up, lips pursed outward. When he sets Keith down he doesn’t let him go, firmly putting his hands down on both of Keith’s shoulders. He shakes Keith and Keith goes limp on his hold and Lance grins, laughing to himself before he glances back at Allura.

“I wanted to say I’m very thankful,” Allura starts and Lance blinks at her, smiling as he tilts his head to match hers. “I once thought I had lost you forever, but since we spoke again it feels like everything has gone back to the way it was before.”

“I think so too, Allura,” Lance says, grins at her. “You’re a really good friend to me.”

“I just hoped your ears would become less hideous with time,” Allura tells him and Lance narrows his eyes at her, laughing when she does. 

Keith claims the free seat next to Lance when he finally gets away from Hunk and the five of them eat, talking over each other, Coran joins them eventually and starts telling random stories from the past that Lance still isn’t sure if they are true or partially embellished. Keith hooks his ankle with Lance’s under the table and Lance steals a sip of his drink in retaliation.

Later, Lance is leaning against a wall, his arms wrapped around his own waist as he looks at Keith. They’re outside of Lance’s guest bedroom, Keith’s is right next door and it’s so much like when they lived in the original Castle of Lions that Lance has a hard time shaking off the feeling to bite at Keith’s head and insult him.

Keith draws his brows together, pouting slightly and Lance does the same with concern, reaching for Keith but Keith is already bending low, chin hooked to Lance’s shoulder, arms snug around his waist. Lance reaches upward to place a hand gently against the back of Keith’s head, smoothing down the back of his hair gently. Keith breathes in deeply and presses closer and closer until Lance’s back is flat against the wall, the pressure between them pleasant.

“Can I come home with you?” Keith asks in a whisper. “Please?”

“Of course,” Lance says immediately, slipping his fingers between strands of Keith’s hair, gently brushing away the few tangles he finds.

“Can I stay there with you….” Keith trails off but Lance’s mind supplies a _forever_ loudly. “Can we go in the morning?”

“Whenever you want, Keith,” Lance sighs, looping his arms under Keith’s armpits, holding him closer as well and biting his lip when Keith presses their cheeks together. 

He pulls back enough but doesn’t move far, their foreheads pressing together, eyes crossing as they stare at each other. Lance feels like he can’t breathe. Keith’s cheeks and nose are bright red but he doesn’t move away, instead he lifts one hand and cradles Lance’s cheek gently. Lance shuts one eye as Keith brushes his thumb gently over his cheekbone, opening it again when that touch is gone. Lance yearns to touch him as well, his palm sliding flat against Keith’s chest, close to his heart but not directly over it because he couldn’t take it if he was the only one losing control right now. 

If Lance just pushed himself closer, if he pulled Keith down or Keith pulled Lance forward, then their lips would press together. They could share a first kiss of what Lance would wish with all of his heart were so many he would lose count. If Lance could just ask him, tell him he thinks he loves him, if he could only take Keith for himself with no regard for anything else. 

Keith pulls away when they hear Hunk and Coran chattering happily down the hall. They round the corner as Keith takes a step back and when Lance meets his eyes again he still sees that hunger in them, that longing. 

 

Allura opens a portal for them after breakfast. They considered taking the longer trip back to Earth but Keith had basically pleaded Lance with his eyes to not do that. They got into the lions and went through the portal, coming out close to Lance’s house. Five minutes later the lions set down where Red used to spend his time and the two of them were walking up the steep hill to the house. It was sunset, their hands were clasped together again, and the soft yellow lights coming from the windows made Lance feel at ease.

When they walked through the door they let go of each other, accepting hugs from Lance’s mama and fist bumps from Rachel as she walked past them with a bowl of popcorn and drinks tucked under her arms. She invited them over to watch the movie too and they crowded together on the couch, Lance squeezed between them. 

He tried not too think too much about how easily Keith fit in with his family and his twin sister in particular. He cracked jokes with Rachel, understood her humor because his was almost as dry as hers. They both urged the characters to make the worst decisions and booed when they went with the safe and legal choice. Mid movie they started throwing popcorn at each other with Lance still stuck between them but he didn’t mind as much as he thought he would even when the kernels kept hitting his cheek. He held the bowl closer instead and laughed when Rachel started choking on a kernel that landed in her mouth. He patted her back firmly until she was breathing again.

“I’m going to report you to the Garrison for attempted murder,” Rachel says, her voice scratchy. 

“Let’s do it baby, I know the law,” Keith replies in a monotone voice and Lance and Rachel both turn to him sharply, silence piercing their previous banter and Keith widens his eyes. “Uh…”

“Oh my god,” Rachel whispers before she’s bursting into laughter and Lance is as well, both of them leaning into each other for support. 

Lance really _really_ wishes he could kiss him right then as Keith starts to laugh with them too, his head bowing forward.

 

“Mom knows I’m here,” Keith says as he comes into Lance’s room, freshly showered, wearing some of Lance’s extra pajama sets. He’s still ruffling his hair with his towel and the air mattress is on the floor ready to be inflated but Lance swallows once instead when he sees him and is already scooting close to the wall to make room for Keith in his small twin bed. “I have to go to a Blade meeting with the Garrison tomorrow morning at ten.”

“Sucks,” Lance breathes out and Keith sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Mhm,” Keith nods and he’s leaning over, brushing away a stray curl from Lance’s eye. “But it’s okay if I come back when the meeting is over, right?”

“Of course,” Lance grins. “I’ll be here making sure Rachel didn’t kill the crops while I was gone.”

“I’ll bring you lunch,” Keith says and Lance nods, glancing at the air mattress briefly before grabbing Keith’s shoulder and pulling him close. “Lance?”

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor,” Lance says and let’s the giddy feeling in him spread when Keith isn’t pushing him away. “We’ve already shared a bunch of beds on our trip, just stay up here with me.”

“Okay,” Keith says and his minty fresh breath hits Lance’s cheek and then they’re both laying down fully, Lance pulling up the blankets over them. 

Keith pulls a pillow under his head and Lance scoots closer to the wall as he gets comfortable, shutting his eyes with a yawn. He feels Keith shift, a deep sigh let out. He doesn’t even realize it as he falls asleep, all he really thinks about is how at peace he feels and how ready for his dreams he is. 

When Lance wakes he does so with a shaky sigh, he peers an eye open and he grips the soft fabric his fingers are curled around a little tighter. He squints in the sunlight for a moment and presses his cheek closer against the firm surface under him before he really realizes what’s happening. His breath stutters for a moment and he opens his eyes again to see his arm draped over Keith’s chest. He slowly lifts his gaze and sees Keith still deep asleep, feels now the rise and fall of his chest against his cheek. 

Keith’s lips are slightly parted, one of his hands on top of Lance’s arm draped over him, the other he suddenly feels against the back of his head, fingers curled into the back of Lance’s hair in a gentle grip. He doesn’t want to move, afraid he’ll break the spell, that Keith will wake up and they’ll have to move away from each other with awkward apologies that Lance wishes weren’t there every moment they got closer, closer, closer. 

He stares at Keith longer, follows the curve of the scar on his face, grips the shirt between his fingers a little bit tighter. Keith purses his lips shut and lets out a slow breath through his nose and turns his head to the side. Lance can feel his nose brush against the top of his head, chin bumping into his forehead and he grins, lets out a quiet laugh under his breath. Keith’s chest stutters under his cheek and his breathing stops for only a second, the fingers in his hair curl a little tighter and then Keith is pulling back his arm, glancing down at Lance. 

“Uh,” he mumbles, his eyebrows furrowing together and Lance stays silent, pulls his head enough to rest it on the pillow under him instead. “Sorry… guess the bed wasn’t as big as we thought?”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Lance smiles, misses Keith’s hold on his hair as soon as his fingers start to pull away.

Keith doesn’t move away like Lance thought he would, instead his eyes are searching Lance’s face and he doesn’t know what Keith is searching for but he really hopes he finds it. 

The moment feels like it stretches forever and Lance notices the smallest details around him, is hyper aware of them almost. He can tell he slept past sunrise which he’s rarely done since he decided to become a farmer practically. He can hear his chickens squawking, cows groaning randomly and muted conversation from his family downstairs. He hopes Rachel at least fed the chickens but he did tell her not to worry last night.

“This is so difficult,” Keith mumbles and Lance raises an eyebrow questioningly.

“What?” Lance asks, unfurls his fingers so they press flat against Keith’s side instead. 

Keith looks at him again, his lips purse together and he sighs shakily, head falling forward suddenly until his forehead is pressed against Lance’s. His heart swoops at the gesture, lips parting slightly and it’s his turn to search Keith’s gaze.

“Having to be away from you,” Keith says and Lance blinks, shoulders pulling up over his neck when Keith returns his hand to the back of Lance’s neck. “Having to watch you from far away, seeing you become your own person, stronger and smarter, kinder, more beautiful than ever before. Not being a part of it.”

Lance would say something if his mind wasn’t looping the words over and over in his head. 

“Trying not to get in your way, burden you with my feelings because you’re doing great by yourself and you don’t need anyone the way you thought you did before,” Keith continues. 

It’s a stupid thing to think because Lance _does_ need Keith, has only made it this far because he was always supporting Lance and encouraging him, reminding him he was good enough for anything he wanted to do until Lance had finally believed him and felt like his equal. 

“Just being this close to you…” Keith continues and Lance still thinks it’s funny how Keith becomes the one who overshares when he’s trying to make up for the both of them. “It’s so difficult. I don’t want to be what makes things bad… worse.”

Lance can’t stay quiet at that. 

“Keith,” he says and Keith’s gaze returns to his, head pulling back slightly from Lance so they can look at each other. “You make things _better_.” 

This has to be a love confession, right? Lance isn’t reading this wrong, is he?

Keith’s breath hitches, his fingers pull Lance closer by the back of his head and Lance laughs when their noses bump together, grins when he hears Keith laugh as well. He grips his shirt again, bites his lip as he avoids Keith’s lips and instead a kiss presses against his throat. Keith huffs against his skin and Lance snorts, pulls back. Even that brief touch against his skin is setting him on fire but...

“Wait wait,” he says breathless even though they haven’t moved at all. “Let me say something too.”

“Okay,” Keith nods, eyebrows pulling together as he stares down Lance. “Okay.”

“You look angry,” Lance teases and Keith’s eyebrows smooth over, his fingers stroking gently over the back of Lance’s hair. “It's true I don’t need you the way I did before anymore, but I do need you around still. You’re the one that brings me peace when I can’t find it on my own, the one that’s helped me open my eyes and see I could be more than just… just, a boy from Cuba. Every moment I’ve shared with you has been a billion times better than it would have been if I were alone.”

Keith bites his bottom lip, looks impatient as he drags Lance closer and the blankets shift as Lance scoots upward so they’re face to face. Keith’s eyes are glued to Lance’s lips and Lance can’t help but laugh. He slides a hand upward until he holds the side of Keith’s face gently, brushing his thumb against the corner of his lips. 

“I’m okay on my own, you helped me see that. But you could never makes things bad, or worse. With you it’s better, it’s always been better.”

Keith lets out a soft whine that sounds wrecked and leans forward again but this time Lance is ready. He leans back into the hold Keith has on his head, drops his own hand from Keith’s face to brace against his shoulder instead and lets his eyes flutter shut. The first press of their lips make Lance feel so warm, their heads tilt until they find the right angle and then Keith pulls back enough that he breaks the kiss. 

They both bask in the moment briefly before Lance gets impatient this time, leans forward and slots their lips back together, parts them a little bit wider each time he presses another kiss into Keith’s incredibly soft lips. Their tongues brush together briefly and Lance groans softly when Keith’s grip on his hair tightens before it loosens up again. Keith rolls over him without breaking the kiss, his weight comforting on top of Lance’s. 

Their tongues mingle together at first without practice but as with everything he does Keith soon enough moves their lips at the perfect pace, runs the tip of his tongue along the roof of Lance’s mouth and it makes Lance shiver. He moves his hands to Keith’s waist, holds on to him as Keith cups his face and smooths back his hair. 

Lance bites down gently on Keith’s upper lip when they pull apart briefly, grins and laughs into the kiss when Keith hisses softly and nips back at him. Their lips press together again gently a few times and Lance’s eyes flutter open to find Keith looking at him tenderly. 

He lets out a shaky breath as his fingertips slide under the hem of Keith’s shirt, stroke over his warm skin. His heart has been racing from the moment their lips first touched. Lance could have never imagined being in this moment for real. He had thought about it many times before, had daydreamed of snuggling close to Keith and sharing chaste kisses but somehow this is so much better. 

He likes the way Keith looks at him completely wrecked, he likes the heavy longing and happiness and satisfaction on his face. He likes his weight on top of him, his chest rising and falling against his own with the same quick pace. He likes the feeling of the mattress underneath him, the blankets still covering them and keeping them in a cozy cocoon of their own. He likes that it’s not weird, that he isn’t feeling uneasy. 

He likes that more than anything it just feels _right._  That he belongs where Keith is and Keith belongs wherever Lance is. 

“Lance…” Keith mumbles softly, his eyes half-lidded as he leans forward again and Lance meets him halfway. 

The kiss is slow this time, syrupy and sweet, a soft brushing sound following each time their lips part. Keith grips Lance’s hair gently and Lance presses his fingers against the smooth skin of Keith’s lower back. He wants more. He wants the layers between them to disappear until it’s just them two, he wants–

The door to his room slams open and the moment breaks. Keith pulls back and they both glance at the door. Keith immediately buries his face in Lance’s neck and Lance is trying hard not to laugh. 

“Mama’s asking if you want breakf…” Rachel trails off slowly and she looks them over quickly before she’s closing the door slowly, her hand slipping inside to click the lock into place. “Ma!” 

“ _Que_?!” his mama shouts back and Lance pulls back his hands to soothingly run them over the back of Keith’s long hair. 

“They’re still sleeping,” Rachel shouts back as her steps down the stairs thunder. 

“ _Who else is in there?!_ ” his mama shouts and he hears Rachel laugh. 

“Keith stayed over.”

Keith groans quietly into Lance’s neck and he laughs now, wraps his arms around Keith comfortingly and kisses the top of his head. He must be feeling mortified and embarrassed but Lance doesn’t mind. He rubs soothing circles on Keith’s back until Keith relaxes enough and begins to press soft kisses against his throat. Lance tips his head back, shuts his eyes and just feels. Keith trails his kisses downward, down the column of Lance’s neck, a hand lifting to pull down the collar of his worn T-shirt, he feels Keith nip at the junction between his shoulder and neck, bites his own lip with a soft hum. 

“Lance,” Keith whispers, pulling back and staring down at Lance, both hands braced on either side of his head. “Lance… Lance…”

“Did I break you?” Lance teases, licks over his lips and brushes back Keith’s hair behind his ear.

“I never want to let you go,” Keith whispers. 

It feels like he’s saying _I love you._

“You won’t have to,” Lance tells him, pulls Keith down again to kiss him softly, fingers buried in his hair.

 

When they make it out of the room Lance is completely blissed out in what feels like a million kisses. His lips still tingle from use, heart barely settling down, a flush permanent on his skin and he’s not sure it’ll go away as long as Keith is around. Their fingers tangle together as they walk down the stairs and separate at the bottom of them. For all the kissing and promises practically whispered into each other’s mouths Lance isn’t sure what they are exactly. He wouldn’t want to reveal it to his family right away either if they were boyfriends now.

“I have to go,” Keith mumbles when they reach the hall leading to the front door and kitchen. He looks reluctant as he glances back at Lance but he’s already running late for his meeting.

“I know,” Lance smiles, steps closer and grabs Keith’s hand to pull the hair tie free from his wrist. He carefully gathers Keith’s hair into the low ponytail he usually sports and grins when Keith leans forward to rub the tip of their noses together.

 _We’re definitely boyfriends now, right_? Lance wonders to himself and he pecks Keith’s lips quickly before nudging him to the door. 

( _I’ll say_ ) Red rumbles smugly and Lance flushes at that. 

_You didn’t actually see any of that, did you?_

_(Private moment. I don’t see. Only one kiss.)_

_Thanks._

“Can I take you out tonight?” Keith asks, turning around when he’s down the porch steps. “You know… on a date.”

“Not if I take you out first,” Lance grins, leans against the doorframe and Keith grins back, lifts his arm in a wave and keeps glancing back as he straddles his hover bike.

It’s a familiar sight, one that slams Lance right back to his first date with Allura, watching Keith leave his house and looking at him one last time before he was gone. He keeps watching as Keith fades away, distances himself more and more as he goes down the patchy road that leads to Lance’s farm. It’s different this time, though. His heart isn’t breaking in two. 

This time his heart was already full, had only made him happier with Keith’s touch. He licks over his lips and lets out a soft sigh through his nose, not ready to turn around and go back to reality until he gets to see Keith lAyer. 

“Nice morning?” Lance jumps when Rachel asks teasingly next to him, bumps her hip into his and wiggles her brows. 

“Gross,” Lance laughs, shoving her back. “It wasn’t like that.”

“But it was _something_ right?” she asks, tilting her head. 

“Yeah. I think so.”

“I’m happy for you.”

 

The afternoon can’t come soon enough. Lance walks the fields and visits the animals, lets them sniff at him after he’s been gone for so long. His hens in particular are excited to see him, nipping at his shoes and showing off the new chicks that follow them. Lance welcomes the small babies into his arms and inspects their feet to make sure nothing is wrong with them, sure that Rachel would forget to check for splayed legs. 

He hugs Kaltenecker when he sees her, pats down her face firmly. Cleans up the stable with their two horses, fills their buckets with fresh water,  offers them pieces of celery, brushes down their manes and laughs when they snort on him, the puff of their breath making his hair flutter around his face. It feels good, to be able to take care of what he’s built. It feels good that he can do this, grow plants and restore life to the Earth, that he can go to space and help people there, that the Red lion has been fiercely devoted to Lance from the moment he became his, that he has a group of children that look up to him in the Garrison. It feels good to know his family loves him, that he has value, that his friendship with Allura is back to the way it used to it. It feels good to know he didn’t lose anything in his journey. 

It feels good to know that he’s finally accepting his feelings for Keith fully, that he’s acting on them the way he hadn’t let himself before. He bites his lip as he walks back with a basket full of eggs and carrots, remembers the feeling of Keith’s soft lips pressed against his own. His cheeks are definitely flushed, his whole body suddenly yearning to hold Keith again. 

Everything he is on his own suddenly feels amplified. Keith makes it better, he makes things feel better. What Lance has been working on, what’s he’s done for himself, the way he’s picked himself up with the support of his friends and family. It’s worth it enough for him, but it’s even better when he knows he can put all of that and more into making a good life with Keith. It’s better when he realizes Keith has grown in his own ways too and feels better himself for it. He’s not the loner anymore, he’s not angry anymore, he smiles when he’s with people, he rather help someone than fight them.

He’s more open, plays along with jokes, is funnier himself than anyone else in the room sometimes. He’s soft and clingy and presses the sweetest kisses against Lance’s cheeks and forehead. He’s better. Everything is better. 

Keith shows up with lunch as promised. They sit at the table and Lance snorts when Keith dumps a mountain of fries on the table. He leans close and presses a kiss against Keith’s jaw, smiling when Keith nudges him gently. They scoot a little bit apart when Marco comes in, eyeing the food.

“Hey,” he says and sits down across from Lance and Keith. “When did you guys get back?”

“Last night,” Lance answers, grabs the burger Keith gives him and pulls away the foil wrapper on it. “Where were you? We even watched a movie and were laughing super loud.”

“I fell asleep in the backyard,” Marco sighs and swipes one of the burgers on the table. 

“How did you do that?” Lance snorts, grabbing the ketchup packets and squeezing them out on the burger wrapper, grinning when Marco grabs the salt and pepper shakers from the table to pour on the ketchup. 

“I was cloud watching, dude,” Marco says around a mouthful. “It’s life changing.”

“I can see that,” Keith says, taking a bite of his own burger and Lance hooks their ankles together under the table, grabbing a few fries and shoving them in his mouth. “Easy to lose yourself in swirling colors of the sky.”

Keith fits easily even here with Marco. His brother that dreams most of the time, has his heads in the clouds, and is a trickster once he’s comfortable enough. Marco laughs hard whenever Keith opens his mouth and Keith doesn’t even seem to mind that he takes the food he bought without asking. When Marco leaves he has a smile permanently on his face and Lance wants to tackle Keith and kiss him silly. 

“Date time?” Lance asks instead, moves his hand so he can hold Keith’s arm, rub his thumb gently over the bare skin there.

“Yeah,” Keith whispers and leans close, pressing a kiss to the corner of Lance’s mouth. “If you’re ready.”

“I am.”

Keith takes them to a drive in theater. He parks what he now knows is Shiro’s car in the very back row and they push the front seats down as far as they go and out of the way as they climb to the back seats and Keith claims a space halfway on Lance’s lap immediately. Lance laughs but he holds Keith close anyway, kisses the top of his head and nuzzles into his hair as they settle down to watch the movie. They get fifteen minutes in before Lance is running his mouth and Keith is tilting his head so his chin is propped against his chest.

“Since when have you liked me?” Lance asks softly and Keith smiles slowly.

“You tell me first,” Keith whispers, leaning into Lance’s fingertips in his hair.

“I think I’ve liked you since we were kids,” Lance mumbles, sighing. “But I don’t think I realized until… our bonding moment. Not really anyway, I just… let it stay in my subconscious before then. Now you tell me.”

“When we met again saving Shiro,” Keith says and Lance blinks at him. “You looked so cool, it made my heart jump. I didn’t want to be distracted so I was mean to you and… then I kept learning things about you and I liked you more and more. I missed Shiro so much when he went missing again but all the broken pieces inside of me… you helped me patch them up with our friendship and co-leadership. It was impossible to not fall in love with you but I… I didn’t think I’d ever have a shot.”

“Babe,” Lance whispers and presses a kiss against Keith’s forehead, tilting his head when Keith leans up to press their lips together. “Do you feel like we’ve wasted time?”

“No,” Keith murmurs against Lance’s lips, parting Lance’s mouth gently, his tongue brushing against Lance’s bottom lip. “This was the time for us.”

Keith’s kisses are passionate, breathtaking, they make Lance feel like he’s melting against the car seats and they’re better than they were just that morning in his sunkissed room. Lance’s eyes shut and they don’t open as long as Keith is kissing him. He buries his fingertips in Keith’s hair after tugging away the hairband, Keith drags kisses down Lance’s jaw, presses softly against the skin of his neck and he shivers when he feels Keith’s warm tongue press at his skin gently before he’s sucking at it. He isn’t bothered at the idea of Keith leaving marks, kind of hopes he does and Lance can leave some of his own. 

Lance isn’t going to say it tonight but he feels it growing in his chest each time they touch. He loves Keith, he knows he does, he has for so long but he’s not going to say it tonight. He’ll save it for when they’ve learned what their new dynamic is when they’re together. He’ll say it when they’re enjoying the view of the sunset, he’ll say it when Keith’s eyes are stuck to him and he’s probably reading his mind but won’t steal the moment from Lance. 

He’ll say I love you and Keith will say it back and everything will be better, better, better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. i get sad sometimes.  
> i hope all the sweet fluff makes up for it and i would love some comments??? make my week please!!!


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